Freaky Friday Page #6

to perform without me.

Perform without you?

What's with the big words?

Here!

Don't you ever take

anything home to be washed?

Never!

Now, suit up and get out there

on the double.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up, you guys,

and listen!

Now, remember our game plan.

Get the ball to Annabel!

If anybody's gonna win it

for us, it's our tough,

rock-'em, sock-'em,

superjock Annabel Andrews!

[All cheering]

Get your butts out there

and kill, kill, kill!

[Cheering continues]

Now, listen, girls.

I taught you to play fair,

to play clean,

and with good sportsmanship.

Still, the name of

the game is winning.

And we can only win this one

if you remember one thing.

Get Annabel Andrews

and get her good!

[All cheering]

Look, I'm gonna try

my best today,

but if anything

should go wrong...

Well, why should it?

Well, I told you.

I'm not the same person today.

So I've noticed.

You have to snap out of it.

This is a real important game.

I'll try.

But I mean it.

I'm not the same person.

[Whistle blows]

Forward in the "centa"!

Center.

Oh!

Hey, that's you.

Go get 'em, Annabel.

ELLEN:
I played this once

in eighth grade.

Ready to bully!

Bully!

Come on, let's go!

Ow! Ow! Oh!

Don't worry. I'm all right.

Don't worry about me.

Go get it!

How come you didn't bring

the car?

How come I didn't bring

the car?

Quit griping, will you?

I thought we could use

the exercise.

We'll never make it home

for lunch.

Sit here. It just happens

I brought lunch with me.

It's a pickup lunch.

Pick up anything you want.

Throw the rest

back in the bag.

- Gin?

- Aaah!

That's the wrong bag, honey.

No lamb chops, baked potato,

and string beans?

Not unless you want to

cook it yourself.

I fired Mrs. Schmauss.

Yahoo!

You didn't like her either.

Like her?

Mom, I hate her!

She talks cross

and smells funny.

But mostly I hate her

because she says Annabel's

a spoiled brat and a pig.

I heard that once today.

I don't have to hear it again.

Besides, does it make sense?

You hate Mrs. Schmauss because

Mrs. Schmauss hates Annabel.

But Annabel hates you.

By rights, the person

you should hate is Annabel.

I know.

I try, but I just can't.

Why not?

Well, for one thing.

Let's see.

She gets neat ideas.

Like the time we filled up

balloons with water

and threw them out the window.

Oh, that was really neat.

Want to tell Mommy some other

neat things Annabel thinks up?

There's Billy and John!

Can I go play with them?

- Sure.

- Thanks.

ANNABEL:

He's not as finky as I thought.

Don't just lie there, Annabel!

Get up and hit 'em back!

We're gonna lose if she

don't get off her duff.

Time-out. Time-out.

I gotta tie my shoelaces, here.

No, hold on!

Who did that?

You're gonna get it this time.

[Whistle blows]

Foul!

Yes, definitely a foul.

Questionable.

ELLEN:
Two years and $2, 000 to

get these teeth straightened,

and they want to knock them out

in one afternoon.

I quit!

Annabel, come on back!

Annabel, where are you going?

The game's not over.

The score is tied.

We can still win.

Where are you going, Annabel?

Can't you take it?

She's probably changing

from blue to yellow.

Annabel, yellow?

Sloppy, yes.

Yellow, never!

All right, give me

that broomstick,

and get out of my way!

We're gonna win this game!

[Whistle blows]

I got this!

I got it!

Ahh!

BOYS:

Yeah!

Wow!

BO Y:

No way!

Yay!

You're out!

What do you mean, I'm out?

- You're out!

- No, I'm not.

- I was safe.

- You're out!

What do you mean, I'm out?

Go take a walk!

Okay. Mmm!

Strike three!

You're outta there!

Whoo!

All right!

No, no.

That's the wrong goal!

Come back, Annabel!

Don't do this to me!

Hey, way to go, Annabel!

Good move!

No, Annabel.

No! No!

No! No! No!

[Whistle blows]

Oh!

Time!

Winning goal by blue captain,

Annabel Andrews!

Final score.

Reds, eight.

Blues, Seven!

Where did I go wrong?

I know it's hard for you

to remember.

I'm Jo-Jo, and you're Annabel.

And we both play

for the same team.

ELLEN:
Oh, good grief.

I've goofed again.

Boy, Mom, that was terrific.

That's even better than Annabel.

She's a super ballplayer.

Really?

- And she's beautiful.

- She's what?

I think she's beautiful.

And I love her braces.

I hope when I get that old,

I'll have braces, too.

With your luck,

you won't need braces.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Then Annabel's gonna hate me

more than she does now.

Well, why does she

hate me so much?

Because there's nothing

more annoying

than a little blue-eyed saint

with perfect teeth

who's always on time,

never has a messy room.

Do you hate me, too?

Don't be a jackass.

I'm trying to tell you

why Annabel hates you.

But I can't help those things.

I can't help what I look like.

And about being neat.

I can't help that, either.

Listen, if I thought

she'd like me better,

I'd be messy.

I've even tried being messy.

Once I took all

my piled-up blocks

and the books on the shelves

and the big bag of marbles

and the LEGOs and threw them

so Annabel wouldn't be

the only one getting in trouble.

That stinky old Mrs. Schmauss

said I was too young to know any

better and picked everything up.

So no matter what I do,

Annabel keeps on hating me.

Well, why don't you

hate her back?

That's a good idea.

I told you before.

I tried.

But you can't hate someone

and love them.

Can you, Mom?

No, I didn't use to think so.

ANNABEL:

But maybe you can.

Now blow.

- Feel better now?

- Uh-huh.

Come on, let's go home.

Honey, where have you been?!

Never mind.

We've got problems.

That rat-fink Mary Kay.

She called you?

Told you about the boomerang

through the window, did she?

I've got a real problem.

Will you listen

for half a minute?

We have no buffet

for the marina tonight.

Mrs. White thought Mrs. Matthews

was gonna handle this.

Mrs. Matthews thought Mrs. White

was gonna handle this.

Who's gonna handle it?

- You are!

- Me?!

There's only gonna be 25 people.

I've already told them

what a great cook you are.

- No! But I...

- Honey.

You got three whole hours.

Thanks, love.

Goodbye.

Whew!

Bah!

Male chauvinist pig.

Mommy, why did you call Daddy

a male chauvinist pig just now?

Because that's what he is.

But what is one?

A male chauvinist pig is a

husband who spends three months

taking bows for a shindig

he's gonna throw,

and he gives his wife

three hours to save his skin.

Oh.

[Intercom buzzes]

Yes, Mr. Andrews?

ELLEN:

Uh-oh.

Where did she come from?

Uh-huh.

Oh, could you hold on

a minute, please?

May I help you?

Could you tell Mr. Andrews

that his daughter

would like to see him?

Mr. Andrews?

Your daughter is here.

Fine.

Would you walk this way, please?

You've got to be kidding.

You're the new secretary,

I suppose.

Enjoying your work?

Oh, very much.

How is Mr. Andrews to work for?

Oh, he's just a doll.

We get along.

He's pleasant

and very professional.

I can't complain.

I can.

You know, Miss...

Gibbons.

Miss Gibbons, yes.

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