Freaky Friday Page #5

Rotten Ape Face!

I'll clobber him!

All right,

macaroni and cheese.

Breakfast at last.

What a morning.

I'm bored.

Really bored.

Hmm. Bored.

I wonder if Boris is home.

Hey, Annabel.

Now's your chance.

I can make a pitch for me

when I'm not gorgeous.

I mean, when I am gorgeous

and not me.

What'll I say?

Let's see.

What's happening, man?

Hi, lover boy.

Hello, Boris?

This is Mrs. Andrews

across the street.

I was wondering,

could I borrow a cup of...

Sugar's too corny.

...kibble?

Kibble. K-l-B-B-L-E.

You know, the stuff dogs eat?

Yeah, cat kibble.

That'll be fine, too.

When Max is hungry,

he'll eat anything.

He's not a kibble quibbler.

Not he.

So I wonder, could...

No.

Annabel's not home.

Terrific.

See you.

Oh, wow.

He's coming over.

I can't let him see me

like this.

I've got to

find something devastating.

Sexy, slinky.

Velvet maybe.

[Doorbell rings]

ELLEN:

Door's open!

- Come in, Boris!

- [Barking]

[Imitating British accent]

I'll only be a moment, Boris.

Do make yourself

extremely comfortable.

[Barking continues]

[Normal voice]

Shut up, Max!

[Barking stops]

ANNABEL:

No, that'd be overdoing it.

Boris!

Oh, this is good of you.

Do come in.

Come in.

[Congested]

Hi, Mrs. Andrews.

Far out!

"Catty Kibbles with horsemeat."

And a ten-cent coupon

for a little flea collar.

I can only stay a minute.

I got homework.

Oh, Boris.

I'll treasure it for life.

I got to go.

Yum-yum. Oh, Boris, that's

a dreadful cold you have.

Oh, no, no. Let me get you

some vitamin "C."

You don't have to.

I'll put this away.

You don't have to.

In the jewelry box.

You know, Boris,

this, I believe,

is the first time

you've had a chance,

to see our lovely, lovely home!

It's simple but elegant!

Boris? Boris?

Where are you?

Who lives in here?

My son, Ben.

With a canopy bed

and a dollhouse?

With a canopy bed

and a dollhouse.

He's a peculiar boy.

He's liberated.

I'll say.

He's also a slob.

Excuse me, Boris.

Boris, here.

Vitamin "C."

Take two.

They're chewable.

Thank you.

Hmm. They're good.

- Delicious.

- Mmm, mmm.

I don't really have a cold.

It's adenoids.

Or an allergy to my mother.

Anyway, it comes and goes.

It keeps me home from school.

Well...

Boris! You want to hang around

outside for a while?

Being cooped up in here

just gets me crazy.

Sure.

But aren't you dressed kinda

funny to be hanging around?

You're right.

I'm gonna put on some shoes.

You and your boy

have the same size feet?

Yeah, I told you he's peculiar.

Okay.

Let's go.

...Which indirectly led

United States intervention

into what, class?

Korean Conflict.

Yes.

And that took place when,

children?

In June or July of 1950

with the naval air and ground

forces leading the way.

Precisely.

Didn't anyone else do

their preparation for today?

Go on, Annabel.

ELLEN:

Brownie points coming right up.

Well, in order to fully

comprehend the Korean Conflict,

it is necessary to review

all the events.

Is that very hard to throw?

Not if you know how.

Want me to show you?

Mm-hmm.

Come here.

Okay.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Okay, you just swing

your arm back.

- Then bring it forward.

- Mm-hmm.

- Swing it back.

- Mm-hmm.

Then you bring it forward.

- Then you swing it back.

- Mmm...

Then you bring it...

Try it by yourself.

Okay.

Say, I bet you do

great for a lady.

If you think I'd be good,

you should show Annabel.

She'd be so good.

I'd rather show you.

ANNABEL:

Not Mom. Me, dum-dum.

Actually, Boris, lately,

Annabel is completely changed.

She's no longer the same person

who cut your head open

with a tin shovel in the

playground five years ago.

Four.

I've still got the scar.

Okay, four.

Anyway, if you'd seen

her lately,

you wouldn't recognize her.

Does she still have braces?

'Cause if she still has braces,

I'd recognize her.

I mean, now Annabel is so nice.

She's nice-nice nice.

- Well, I'm sure she is.

- Extremely nice.

But, Miss Andrews,

to be perfectly frank,

that's not saying much.

Boris, you turkey.

I can't bear it.

Split!

It didn't turn around

and come back.

Did it ever do that with you?!

No, I just got it today.

I never thrown it.

The responsibility fell on

the Eisenhower administration.

ELLEN:

"Open me"?

[Laughter]

"Clam up and"...Hmm.

Very cute.

Go ahead, Annabel.

You're doing just fine.

Responsibility fell on

the Eisenhower administration,

which was the first Republican

administration in 20 years.

The most salient characteristic

of the Eisenhower years was...

What's going on back there?!

I'm sorry, Miss Benson.

I seem to have dropped a book.

[Bell rings]

I gotta get some books

at the locker.

I'll meet you after class.

I have an even better idea.

Come on.

I'll show you.

You're too much!

I just can't believe it.

What's wrong?

One day you don't know

about history.

Today you made us all

look like dummies.

I don't understand, Virginia.

I was just doing

what I was supposed to do.

What do you want me to do?

Pretend I didn't know?

- See you later, Annabel.

- Let's get out of here.

Bye-bye, Brains.

ELLEN:

How do you win?!

One bunch thumps you

if you don't do well.

The other bunch snubs

you if you do!

Oh! What a zoo!

Sorry about that accident.

My fault. I just owe Mary Kay

a hair drier and a window.

Yeah, well, anyway, thanks.

Okay.

It's really nice.

Maybe we should do it again.

I mean, we could play Monopoly,

something.

- Well, I'd like that.

- Yeah?

Most grown-ups

don't want to play games.

They're always too busy

or something.

But, then, you're not

the same as most grown-ups.

ANNABEL:

Go on. I love it.

You're...

- Yeah?

- Well.

Did you notice

my allergy is completely gone?

Yeah.

Maybe I'm allergic to my mother.

But I'm certainly

not allergic to you.

In fact, I kinda wish

I was 20 years older.

And I wish I were

or something like that,

I guess.

Oh, well, see you, Boris.

- And Mrs. Andrews?

- Hmm?

Well, you shouldn't

blame yourself.

It's not your fault

that Annabel's the way she is.

I mean, she's probably what

they call a bad seed.

Oh!

I wish I was dead!

Team, listen up!

[Whistle blows]

Listen up!

I don't have to tell you

what this game means.

They're out to kill us!

I want you guys to get out there

and hit 'em high! Hit 'em low!

ELLEN:
I don't believe this.

I've joined the Marines.

TOGETHER:

Yeah!

Can we beat these cream puffs?

TOGETHER:

Yeah!

Are we gonna beat 'em?

TOGETHER:

Yeah!

Let's get out there

and knock their blocks off!

[Indistinct cheering]

Where's your team spirit,

Annabel?

Never seen you so down before.

You haven't?

I guess I'm just

a little nervous.

Don't be silly.

All you gotta do

is make your usual zillion

goals, and we got it made.

ELLEN:

Oh, yeah? No problem.

COACH BETS Y:

Andrews!

Uh-oh.

Andrews, why aren't

you changed yet?

Get on the stick!

Sure, but which one's

her locker?

Andrews, move, move, move!

My locker's stuck.

You'll just have

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