Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred Page #7

So...

Don't we get the family discount?

No, Mom, I only babysit for my family.

Oh, my God, you are such

a good businessman, I just love that.

I am sorry. Okay, remember,

she's to be in bed by 9:00.

I love you.

Are you Fred's girlfriend?

I'm a girl and I'm Fred's friend.

Did that answer my question?

You tell me.

- How do I look?

- What?

How do I look?

Lose the Spock ears.

- Too much?

- Too cheesy.

Okay.

Talia!

Talia!

Where are you, you little maggot?

Hey, Talia!

Talia! Come on, you gotta come inside.

If you're not home when Mom gets back,

she's taking away my computer!

Don't answer him.

For a week!

Don't worry, I don't talk to him.

- He's babysitting tonight and I hate it.

- Why? Is he really mean?

No, he just makes me judge his fart smells.

Come on, the Final Five is tonight.

Devlin's got my sister.

- Are you sure?

- Of course I'm sure, Russell,

I wouldn't have called you guys over here.

We should call the police.

Well, I'm not 100% sure.

But you just said you were sure.

I know, but the point is, it's my job

as her babysitter to protect her.

So we've got to get her, all right?

I'm still not clear on how sure we are...

Look, the vampire is not getting away

with this, all right?

How much are you getting paid to babysit?

What? What does that have to do

with anything?

Well, you said it was your job,

and we're helping you, and if you're

getting paid, I think we should...

It doesn't matter how much

I'm getting paid, okay?

The point is, Devlin is going down.

Is this the actual Garden Weasel

as seen on TV,

- or just a cheap imitation?

- Why does that matter?

If I'm going to attack a vampire,

I'd like to think that I'm protected

by the quality craftsmanship

and durability of the original

Garden Weasel.

Let's go.

Thank you.

Okay, Bertha, call the police and tell them

you've seen a vampire

flying over this house.

Have you thought this through?

I know you have my sister in there,

you vampire!

Hey, Devlin, we're not leaving here

until you let her go, man.

Hey, Devlin!

Come on, I know you got my sister in there.

- He thinks Devlin's got Talia.

- What?

Well, I should go tell them where I am.

Wait. I've got a better idea.

Get the heck out of here!

We don't want weirdos like you

around here no more.

Thanks for the piano lessons!

Thanks for the piano lessons?

I didn't know how to play the piano,

and now I do.

But also, get out of our town!

Kevin, what's going on here?

You have my sister, Talia, in there.

I know it!

You need to let her go, vampire.

Your sister's not in here.

And there's no such thing as vampires.

Yes, there is!

But it's not Devlin.

It's him!

- You're really heavy.

- Sorry.

Tonight, Talia is mine!

Figglehorn?

I've just gotta put her down for a minute.

You've got to stop him!

- Me?

- Yes, you!

Take this stake and just drive it

into Fred's heart.

Why do I have to do it? Why can't we get

a grown-up to do it or something?

This is your sister, and it's because

you and Talia have the same blood.

So? Why would that...

You have to do it.

You're the only one that can do it!

Come, my darling, join me tonight

in the undead!

Dude, your sister's going to be

vampire meat. Do something!

Stab him. Stab him in the heart.

Stop me if you can, but you can't,

because my powers are more intense

than yours.

You've got to do it! Stick this stake in him

and drive the stake through his heart!

Kill the vampire, save your sister!

Wait! Guys, come back!

I am vanquished.

I killed the vampire!

I killed...

Figglehorn.

Figglehorn?

Fred?

- We did it!

- We did it. It worked!

Okay, yeah.

Turned out way better than I expected.

It helps that my brother is really dumb.

- And I'm really smart.

- I know, you were so good.

- And you had some help.

- Right. Talia, you were a great help.

- What?

- Easy, I'm injured here, okay?

U- G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly

Yeah, yeah, you ugly

Well, I did it! A complete success.

Everyone's gonna be talking about me now,

about how scary I was!

I've saved Mr. Devlin's career,

and now, I can sleep the sleep of the just.

- I'm proud of you, Son.

- Thank you, Dad.

Your hand's cold.

You know what they say,

cold hands, warm heart.

I thought it was just because you

live in a refrigerator.

It's really more of an office.

Can I get you some steak sauce for that?

- Nice one, Dad.

- Good night, Son.

Good night, Dad.

Hello-ski, Mr. Devlin.

Hello-ski, Fred.

So, do you want me to help you

take down this sign then?

No, I'm afraid not, Fred.

The sign is staying, it is I who am leaving.

What? I mean,

don't you have your job back?

- Didn't they unfire you?

- I didn't get fired, Fred, I quit.

I decided that it's time for me to move on.

I don't want to live in a place where I have

toforce people to accept me for who I am.

Nobody wants that, Fred.

I have the freedom to leave,

and I appreciate that.

But you tried to correct your mistake,

and in my book,

that's the sign of a true friend.

- I'm going to miss you, Mr. Devlin.

- I'm going to miss you, too, Fred.

It's sad that he's leaving.

Yeah, I know. It really bums me out.

Maybe she'll cheer you up.

Nah! I don't really think

there's a future there.

- No?

- No.

I mean, I need a woman who's going to

challenge me a little more.

You know, there's really only one upside

to this whole thing.

- What's that?

- This.

My bad!

Figglehorn!

Mommy!

Freddie, I'm going out with Jake

for a little good-bye snack.

Are you sad he's leaving?

A little, but it never

would have worked out.

He's too nice. I couldn't keep up the

charade much longer that I was nice, too.

Mom, you're nice.

You're sweet.

- Hello-ski.

- Hello-ski yourself!

You two be careful. Don't stay out too late.

What? You're afraid

we're gonna run into vampires?

I want to suck your blood.

Very funny.

I've been working on being more humorous.

- Well, I better get my jacket.

- Okay.

- It's getting a little chill-ski.

- Maybe it'll snow-ski.

You're so fun-ski.

Here, let me get the door.

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