Free Birds
Holidays,
That's why there are so many.
Christmas.
Easter.
Hanukkah.
The one thing they all have in common...
... food, like Thanksgiving.
That's what it's all about.
A time to sit down over
the holiday meal.
Free Birds.
It's everyone's favorite part.
Unless of course, you are the meal.
My name is Reggie, by the way.
I'm the turkey screaming for his life.
Ah! Ah!
Thanksgiving is a turkey's
worst nightmare.
And trust me, I've tried to warn them.
You don't get it!
They're fattening us up
so they can eat us!
- It's such a beautiful day.
- This is the best day ever!
Probably the best day of my life.
- Hey, corn!
- Corn!
And every year,
they don't listen.
Turkeys are dumb.
Corn. Corn.
Really dumb.
Hey, guys, check it out.
Turkeys are so dumb,
they think the farmer's their friend.
- He's so cool!
- He's the best.
- He's so nice.
- I love the farmer!
Hey!
Percy's going to turkey paradise!
Turkey paradise...
Go, Percy, you lucky son of a gun!
See what I mean?
But the truth is, I've always been
a little bit different.
From the very beginning,
I never felt like I fit in.
Our world is made of corn.
Leafy corn.
- Oh!
- Corn-corn!
Fire corn!
That's an awesome theory, but I think
they actually call that the sun.
Out! Out!
But I kept trying...
- Yeah... no.
- Hey, Aspen.
Your wings must be tired
because it looks like you flew
straight out of heaven.
Seriously?
You wanna fly, Bobby?
- I guess it's just you and me.
- Beat it, weirdo!
Yeah, that's what I thought!
- And trying.
When you're in a flock,
you know you belong...
... to something bigger,
that you're not alone.
Reggie, it's chilly!
Reggie, you're cold!
Get out of here, Reggie!
At least that's what I hear.
Listen up!
Reggie's been right all along.
They are fattening us up
so they can eat us.
They're right outside!
Finally, after all these years!
That's what I've been waiting to hear.
"Reggie was right."
Now I don't want to go toot
my own horn, but toot-toot!
Okay, now, here's the plan.
When they open the doors,
we run for the hills.
Go, team!
Give them Reggie!
- What?
- Yeah! Give them Reggie!
He's the Anticorn!
Whoa, whoa!
You got it all wrong!
Let's give them Reggie.
Sacrifice him.
We gotta stick together on this!
See you later, Reggie!
So after all that, I was about
to become Thanksgiving dinner.
- No, no! Please! I beg you!
- We are all clear.
- No! Ah!
- Ladies and Gentlemen...
... the President of the United States.
Thank you all for being here today.
- Or was I?
- ...and to this humble family farm
for one of my favorite
presidential traditions.
The pardoning
of the Thanksgiving Turkey.
Only one special bird will be spared
from this terrible, yet delicious fate.
Daddy! Daddy, it's this one.
This is the one I want right here.
Sweetheart, I think we're gonna go
with a bigger turkey, okay?
Please? Please, please,
please, please!
- Sweetheart, I love you.
- Please! Please!
That turkey's not big enough.
Now, now don't do that.
No, no, no.
This is your pardoned turkey.
Happy Thanksgiving, little fella.
Come on, birdie, let's go.
We're going to the helicopter.
And right over there is a fence.
And that's a seagull.
And there's a cow and a chicken.
And that's Paul.
He's getting a divorce.
Yay!
That's a bald guy and that's the girl
who likes my daddy.
But don't tell anyone.
Birdie...
...don't worry, you're safe.
You're the pardoned turkey.
I'm tired now.
I'm the pardoned turkey.
I'm the pardoned turkey!
I'm gonna live!
I'm gonna live,
I'm the pardoned turkey!
This is blowing my mind!
Turns out my life wasn't over
and a whole new life was just beginning.
Turkey, turkey, turkey.
This is your new home, turkey.
Mr. President, you have returned
to Camp David.
That's General Sagan.
He's got issues.
That's Marcia.
She eats her feelings.
We're gonna have so much fun.
I promise, I will never, ever leave you.
Oh, wait, TV!
I'm tired now.
Ah! Oh! Ah!
Previously on
Mundo del Amor...
What is this?
One-eyed
orphan, Alejandro,
is thrown out of the orphanage
for being different.
They threw him out, too.
I know exactly how that feels.
Rejected by all, Alejandro
lives alone in the streets of Tijuana.
Until one day, he becomes a man.
Oh, man! Whoa!
Are you having
a hunger emergency?
I am!
- Do you need to eat right now?
- I do!
- Well, we can save the day with pizza!
- Yes!
That looks way better than corn.
Call 1-800-PIZZA.
Get pizza delivered right now.
What?
Whoa.
Alejandro starts
his new company...
El Solo Lobo and makes
a million pesos.
He buys a jet, he buys a tiger,
and becomes Tijuana's greatest lover.
El Solo Lobo.
of a flock was what I wanted.
But maybe I was wrong.
Yeah!
Whoa! Oh, hey, dude.
A warm bed...
... TV, and all the pizza I could eat.
I finally had it all.
Everything was perfect.
Will Alejandro
ever find true love
or is he destined to be alone forever?
Sounds like a pretty good
destiny to me, Alejandro.
Find out on the next
Mundo del Amor.
This is your destiny.
Oh...
Whatever you do,
do not make a sound.
Sh...
I'm Jake from the TFF.
You've just been recruited
for a top secret mission.
Ah! Help! I'm being kidnapped
by a wild turkey!
Security! Set Tasers to kill!
Ah!
What was that?
- Oh!
- Love your enthusiasm, comrade.
Dah!
But you're running
in the wrong direction.
Besides, we're already
behind schedule.
- We're behind schedule?
- We are?
Why didn't you say so?
Let's move!
Look, I think you have me
confused with somebody else.
I'm not part of any mission.
Horizon seems clear.
- Hold on.
- Hey, wait!
It's me, the pardoned turkey.
Help me!
Stay back. I'll take him out.
Ah!
- Please don't hurt me.
- I don't know who you are
but you're seriously
jeopardizing this operation.
Are you insane? It's me.
Is it? Is it really?
Would you get off me?!
You know what? I'm sick of you
throwing me around.
You see this line?
Do not come into my personal...
Did you not see the line?
'Cause I was pretty clear
that it's right...
Snap out of it, Reggie.
Wait, how do you know my name?
Because he told me
everything about you.
He? Who is he?
The Great Turkey.
He appeared in the sky
on a bright ball of light with a voice
that came from everywhere.
He gave me my mission,
told me I needed to find you.
And then, he gave me this.
A door knob?
The sacred time knob.
This guy is a lunatic. Oh!
should be right up ahead.
The facility should be in here.
Just need to figure out how to get
past this impenetrable gate.
So, this is what it looks like
on the inside.
Okay, what's inside
this secret base, anyway?
A time machine.
A time machine?
A time machine.
- A time machine.
- A time...
What?! Who told you that?
You did, just now.
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"Free Birds" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/free_birds_8551>.
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