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Of course I did. I was testing you.

- Uh...

- That's our mission.

Not to save ten turkeys

or even a hundred, but all of them.

We're going back in time

to the first Thanksgiving

to get turkeys off the menu.

That's right,

we're going back in time

to the first Thanksgiving

to get turkeys off the menu.

- Who are you talking to?

- This guy right here.

He totally gets it.

Look, look, see how he's nodding?

Hello, soldier, welcome

to the Turkey Freedom Front.

I'm just gonna let you two

get acquainted. Oh!

- Scanning area.

- What are you doing?

- Not binoculars.

- Wait!

- There's our target. Let's go!

- Ah!

Entering time module.

Stand back.

Initiating launch sequence.

Tingling sensation in lower body.

Blood pressure rising, rapidly...

...penetrating space-time continuum.

I can feel time warping!

Ooh! We can warp to another time

and maintain their lawns.

This doesn't make sense.

Oh, oh, look.

Potting soil from the year 3000.

Ooh.

- Oh, Jake, look!

- What? What is it?

Future paint. Secret basecoat.

But, he said it would be here.

What the heck are you talking about?

I don't know who your friend is

but you guys should start

the Idiot Freedom Front

and free yourselves from stupidity.

There's no secret base

and there's definitely no time...

...machine?

Ah!

Ha!

Ah! Yeah!

Ah!

A-ha!

Let's go.

Hey, just because I'm following you

does not mean I am following you.

Follow me.

Did you not hear what I said?

I'm not following you!

There's just no other way...

- Ah! No!

- Ah!

Decontamination complete.

- What is that?

- Ow! It's a map, you idiot.

A map! Will it lead us

to the time machine?

They aren't just gonna write

time machine on the...

- Oh, man.

- Where is it?

It's, uh...

Oh, we follow the blue line.

The blue line, of course!

Of course.

We'll both follow the blue line

and get to the time machine

and stop Thanksgiving.

Welcome to the team.

Like two pieces of twine

woven together,

we are a strong and beautiful braid.

Yeah, if we're gonna do this,

you're gonna have to stop being weird.

Ten-hut!

You don't have to touch me

when you talk to me.

Okay, don't touch me, in fact.

Whoa!

Enemy approaching!

What are you doing?

They almost got us.

Us? They almost got you!

We are not an "us".

I'm a flock of one.

I'm a Ione wolf, ese.

El Solo Lobo.

Witness the awesome power

of the pardoned turkey.

Get back!

Hey, guys, Reggie here.

I don't even recognize you.

You guys must be new.

You guys are never gonna believe

what I've been through.

- Should we report this?

- Too much paperwork.

- Let's roast him.

- Copy that.

Chrononaut One,

are you ready

to be the first human being

to travel through time?

Yes, sir!

He'd better be. The chances

of survival are almost zero.

Wait, you never said anything...

That's on a need to know basis, sir.

Why are they trying to kill me?

Huh, I just want to go back

to being a pardoned turkey.

I had slippers. Slippers.

What are you doing?

I've got this completely under control.

Are you crazy?

You've had nothing under...

It's an old TFF trick.

It's called sound diversion.

Are you kidding me?

Control, we have a contaminant

in Chamber 47.

Copy that. What type, Agent?

Uh, a turkey, sir.

That is very weird, Agent.

Copy that.

How do we address it, sir?

Uh, with cranberry sauce.

Funny, right?

But seriously, we should deal

with the contaminant.

Copy that. All units report to Level H.

Exterminate with extreme prejudice.

Go, go, go!

Mr. President,

once the countdown starts,

we will not be able to stop it.

Understood, General.

T-minus three

minutes and counting.

- There they are.

- Ah!

Ah!

There's no way

I'm going near that thing.

Reggie, this is our destiny!

My destiny has pizza

and TV On Demand!

Ah!

Contamination detected.

Freeze that image, soldier!

- What's the problem?

- Turkeys, sir.

Chrononaut One,

get out of there now!

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Help me, help me,

please help me!

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Ah!

New chrononaut detected.

Engaging posterior restraint system.

Setting, supple.

No, no, no, no!

Help me!

- I am not going out there.

- I'm not going out there.

- I'm definitely...

- Sorry, bro.

- Two weeks from retirement.

- Good luck!

Ow! My foot!

Oh...

Ah!

Huh? What's going on? Help! Ah!

- Help me! Please take my hand!

- Calm down.

Get me out!

Ah!

What have we... done?

Please help me.

Greetings, I am S-T-E-V-E.

S. T.E. V.E. Your Space Time

Exploration Vehicle Envoy.

Hello, S.T.E.V.E., I am J-A-K, Jake.

- And this is R-E-G, Reggie.

- Where are we?

Nowhere and everywhere.

The space between time

where the past, present

and future intersect.

Obviously. Now, take us

to the first Thanksgiving.

- Destination, set.

- No, no, no!

Activating Chrononaut safety bubble

to shield from possible side effects.

Side effects? What side effects?

Side-effects may include

accelerated aging...

I'm cold.

Rapid evolutionary regressions.

Erratic physical mutation

into an adorable baby dragon.

Or an octopus, a king crab,

a pony, the sasquatch.

Ah!

I hope you've enjoyed

your time travel experience.

- Ow...

- Please hold on for re-entry.

- Oh-ah-ah!

- Whoo-hoo!

Oh... Oh, boy.

Welcome to Plymouth Colony, 1621.

Three days before

the first Thanksgiving.

We did it! We went back in time.

Reggie, come out here.

You're gonna love this!

Sure, why not.

Ow!

Ah! It even smells old.

May I recommend some light stretching.

Great idea, S.T.E.V. E...

Pecs, glutes, pecs, glutes, pecs,

glutes, pecs, glutes, pecs, glutes.

- Ew!

- Pec, pec, glute, glute.

Whoo! Ah! Let's go, Reggie.

Activating security cloaking

mechanism during solar recharge.

Wait, no, S.T.E.V.E.!

S.T.E.V.E.! S.T.E.V.E.!

S. T.E. V.E.?

S. T.E. V.E. 's not here, man.

I'm laughing,

but that's not funny, S.T.E.V. E...

This conversation is taxing

my power reserves.

- Shutting down.

- What? No! No, no, no, no!

Reggie, south is this way.

Sun rises in the north.

Wait, I can't stay out here

back in the food chain.

Finally, some me time.

I've reconned the area.

We are all alone.

This is a bad idea.

This is a real wild forest.

It's probably full of crazy,

bloodthirsty monsters.

If anything happens to me,

it's on your head.

Trust me, we're perfectly safe.

Ah!

Jake, Jake! Oh, no, no!

Ah!

No, just... Another one!

Please, please I beg you.

Please don't eat me.

- End of the line for you.

- I'm dead, I'm dead!

Ohhh!

- Hi.

- Hello.

- Is this Turkey Paradise?

- Sh!

- See anything?

- Nothing here!

Oh, we lost them again,

Captain Standish.

I can see that. Now keep looking!

Yes, sir!

They're here.

Oh, I can feel it.

Hello, Turkeys of ye olde time.

We've come from the future in a time

machine named S.T.E.V.E. To save you...

Quiet! We were leading the hunters

away from our nest

till you came along shrieking

like terrified hens. Who are you?

- Yeah, you tell them, Ranger.

- Right, Furley? Whoo!

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