Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel Page #7

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I met you.

You know what?

I am sensing a little bit of resistance

to this whole immortality deal I am offering here.

Toby, all you have to do is destroy

that little piece of paper

and you get to live to write another day in

your book of bad ideas and your dead-end job.

Wow!

Or you could give it to me

and I'll turn you all into legends.

What do you say?

Come on, Tobe.

I just need a little time to think.

What is there to think about?

She's going to f***ing kill us!

It's not that simple!

Uh, uh, uh-uh, uh.

Now this is his choice and his alone.

Oh, no! The song!

This f***ing song!

If there was one thing

I could change about this situation,

it would not be the song

on the f***ing jukebox!

Time's up!

Now, what's it gonna be?

Toby!

F*** you.

Chuck it!

Nooooooo!

- Wow!

- Jeanie Mac!

- Did you do that?

- Yep.

With my pint?

- Were we just dead?

- Yeah.

But now we're not.

- No.

- So, what happened exactly?

- I knocked a pint onto this.

- My pint, my pint.

I knocked Pete's pint onto this,

so no one could read it.

So, the future then changed

because we didn't become famous,

so the Editors didn't

send anybody to kill us.

Wow.

I think you got that wrong.

Why?

Pete downed his pint, didn't he?

So, that was probably my pint.

Jesus! Could we focus on

the "us being alive again" thing?

Well, yeah, obviously.

Well done, Ray.

Is that it? Is it all over?

We're all OK?

Yeah, I think so.

Wow.

I've gone off this pub a little bit.

- Shall we go down The King's Head?

- Why not?

- So, everything that happened...

- Couldn't happen. Didn't happen.

Including me meeting Cassie.

Yeah. Come on, let's go.

I swear I will never use

a pub toilet again.

It's too dangerous.

That's all you're taking away

from this evening?

- No!

- So, we're definitely safe now?

- I suppose.

- Suppose?!

You're the nerds.

Can't you work it out?

Well, yeah. Time resets, so the pub

was never full of dead people.

So, you owe me a tenner. Come on!

OK, then, if time reset,

the bet never happened.

Well, I did only say "suppose".

It's Cassie!

Ray! Oh, thank God you're alive!

Oh! So, you remember me, then?

Of course I remember you.

We've been going out for two years.

What? Really?

- Two years?

- Yeah.

That's, er... Wow!

Oh, er...

Right, this is Pete and Tobe.

- Hiya.

- Hello.

This is Cassie.

She's my girlfriend!

When you knocked that pint over,

you created a feedback loop

through the fabric of space-time.

The repercussions have been enormous.

Leaks everywhere.

Whoa! Two years, huh?

Wow!

So, we must have...

Have we had any of the?

Hmm?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Unless, of course, you mean sex,

which yeah, we've done that lots.

Lots!

Was I any good?

I love you but we only have

- You have to come with me now!

- Oh, OK.

Yeah. Good luck with that, guys.

- Yeah. We'll be in The King's Head.

- What? You guys have to come too.

I've done enough time travel

for one night, thanks.

It's not time travel.

It's a parallel universe.

- Parallel universe?

- Let's go. The portal is closing!

- What the f***'s a portal?

- Come on!

Why don't you two go? Someone should

stay and look after the coats and bags.

Besides, I thought I might go

for your job on the Star Ride.

I was going to apply for that!

Guys, guys! Listen to yourselves!

Look! This is our one chance

to do something important.

Yeah, we might f*** it up.

To be honest, we probably will.

OK, we definitely will. But...

Who's with me?

Please?

- As long as we're back for last orders.

- There's my imagineers.

OK, let's do this.

One... two...

- I f***ing hate sci-fi.

- Science fiction.

Three!

It's the final countdown

The final countdown

We're leaving together

But still it's farewell

And maybe we'll come back

To earth, who can tell?

- Have we gone?

- I suppose.

All right. Come on, Tobe. It's over.

Will things ever be the same again?

Bollocks.

It's the final countdown

The final countdown

We're heading for Venus

And still we stand tall

Cos maybe they've seen us

And welcome us all, yeah

With so many light years to go

And things to be found

Things to be found

I'm sure that we'll all miss her so

It's the final countdown

The final countdown

It's the final countdown-down-down

Down-down-down-down

It's the final countdown

The final countdown

The final countdown

Get back, freak!

Help me!

Toby! Wait,

don't be frightened! It's me!

This is all getting a

little bit too complicated.

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