Friends with Money Page #5

have gotten married?

I don't know.

Maybe it was right at the time.

Yeah, but that's not enough

to get married, is it?

"Right at the time."

Hello?

Hello? Who is this?

Why do you keep calling?

Hey.

I know you.

No, I don't think so.

Oh, look, there's Sammy's mom.

-Hi, Sammy's mom.

-Hi.

We're just bringing you

some cookies.

-We heard you got a new kitten.

-Yeah.

Max would love to come over

and see it soon, wouldn't you, babe?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Want a cookie?

No, thanks.

Marla, sorry about the construction.

I know it's been really noisy.

See you.

You care too much

what people think.

But we're friends. It's--

We've had so many play dates

together. It was crazy.

So she's in a bad mood.

Who cares?

I care.

Just because you can remove yourself

to feel superior, doesn't mean I can.

What the hell is that?

It's what you do

so you're never affected by people.

I can take the next customer.

No, no, no. Wait. Excuse me.

-I was next.

-No, you weren't.

But you can't do that. Hey.

-I was waiting in line. It's not right.

-Let me help them, then I'll help you.

You see that?

Were they in front of me?

No. This is crazy.

I've been waiting in line.

How important could

being in front of me be?

-Calm down.

-Really. What kind of person are you?

Feel you got away with something?

Is this really worth it to you?

Sorry, could you step over there,

wait your turn?

-Seriously.

-Is there a manager here?

-Is there a manager here?

-I'm the manager.

How can I help you?

Everything all right?

Everything's not all right.

These two people cut in front of me.

Everyone is letting them

get away with it.

Them. There. Those two people

with their stupid f***ing faces.

I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to ask you

to leave the store, ma'am.

Me, you kick out,

and to them you do nothing?

Let's go, ma'am. I'm sorry.

Just let me buy what I need.

I don't think that's going to happen.

Well, then take it all, then!

On top of it, I don't get the part...

...where the guy tells the other guy

not to come to the house.

No, no. I don't think

you're supposed to get it.

It's like-- It's deliberately confusing.

Really? You sure?

l-- I don't know what I'm saying.

Are you hungry?

Yeah, I'm starving. Let's-- Should

we go and find somewhere to eat?

I actually-- Just earlier today

I went to a farmers' market.

I live right up the street. So, I mean,

I could make us something.

-Oh, listen, I don't want to impose.

-No. Please, I love to cook.

I would-- It would be my pleasure.

You've got such a great place.

Your paintings and stuff.

Did your wife decorate or did you?

You know, my wife pretends to be

interested in that stuff, but she's not.

I ended up doing the whole thing

myself pretty much.

My wife's into her designing,

but I did the house.

I think we're ready.

Do you mind grabbing that?

-No.

-Thank you.

So how long

have you guys been married?

Eight and a half years.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Us too.

-No.

-Yeah.

-You have kids?

No. No. You guys?

Yeah. We have a son.

Was that a--?

Like a conscious decision?

We-- We tried actually, for years.

But at this point, it looks like

it's not gonna work out.

-Sorry.

-Yeah.

It's actually been a huge strain

on our relationship.

How so?

You know, just not being able

to get pregnant and....

You know.

I'm sorry, this is weird.

Maybe l-- I mean,

maybe I'm being too intimate.

No, no. It's okay. It's funny, I just feel--

I feel really comfortable with you, so....

Me too. I'm glad.

Usually, when I become friends with

a guy, he thinks I'm hitting on him.

Just because you care

about what you wear...

-...doesn't meant to say you're gay.

-Exactly.

I love your shirt, by the way.

Her hair alone

should have been a sign.

You think she just stopped bathing?

No, just shampooing.

Maybe she's upset

because her husband's gay.

God, why do you always say that?

He's not gay.

But what else could he be?

Well, he's not. He's just Aaron.

Hi. I can't believe

I had my phone off.

I was at the movies

and forgot to turn it back on.

-She's not out yet.

-Is she okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you know,

she always did want a nose job.

It's not funny.

-Hi.

-How bad is her face?

-My God.

-She broke her nose.

Was she in a lot of pain?

Actually, she couldn't stop laughing.

When she was conscious.

What's even weirder

is that she hates Old Navy.

-I mean--

-I love Old Navy.

That's good.

So where were you?

I was at the movies

with a friend of mine.

-Which friend?

-New friend. This guy I met.

So, Olivia, are you gonna

talk to me or what?

You know--

Look, it was a really stupid idea.

Let's just forget it.

No, I won't. I can't believe

you won't talk to me...

...because I asked you

two questions.

It wasn't just about two questions,

Franny. It was your tone.

-What happened, huh?

-She--

She wants to be a personal trainer.

Oh, you know what?

F*** all of you guys, all right?

Look, I'm sorry I don't have

my entire life figured out.

Olivia, we love you.

We're the ones who love you.

It's not like we have

all our lives figured out.

Oh, that is such bullshit.

You chose to quit your job.

That job was intolerable.

That's still you.

Wheelchair to Admitting.

Wheelchair to Admitting.

Well, I hope Jane will be okay

for the benefit thing.

Sh*t. What am I gonna wear?

-My God.

-I don't understand--

I don't understand

these fundraisers.

I mean, they waste all this money

on the these parties.

Why don't they just give the money

to the scientists or to the sick people?

But you know what? They don't.

They throw a party

so rich people like me...

...can spend $ 10,000 on a table...

...and then they give it

to the sick people.

Okay? That's how it's done.

-Hello?

-Hi. It's Olivia.

You cannot call me here.

Come on. You know. I really--

I really, really need to see you.

That's not possible.

Yeah, but don't you miss me at all?

-I have to hang up.

-Come on. Just answer me.

I gotta go. I'll see you.

Hello?

Hi. This is Olivia.

Olivia?

My husband's one-night stand?

Yeah.

I guess, if you consider two months

a one-night stand.

Could you please

put him on the phone?

Olivia, why don't you go find

a husband of your own.

I would if I f***ing could, Edie!

F*** off!

Hey, what about this one, honey?

That one, Christine,

is scrawny and dead.

I'm not spending

$ 100 on that.

-They're all $ 100.

-It's disgusting.

Why? You'd spend it on something

else, why not a Christmas tree?

-Because we throw them away.

-That's crazy.

No, $ 100 on a Christmas tree,

that's what's crazy.

What's that?

Nothing. I'm just trying to be

more like Franny. Not annoyed.

Good. So let's not get one.

Fine.

But I want one.

-All right.

-Sorry, honey.

-That one's more money.

-F*** it.

See, there are a lot of things

that are wrong and right.

As you get older, you try to figure out

which ones are which.

And some are big and obvious...

...like don't kill anybody

or hurt anybody on purpose.

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