Friends with Money Page #7

Oh, we've never been here actually.

-Who picked it?

-I did.

I really like it, I really like it.

-So do I. There's such--

-What do you do?

-Oh, we run the company together.

-Yeah, yeah.

Aaron's the artist,

and I'm pretty much the bookkeeper.

-No.

-I always give socks as presents.

-Really?

-I have for years.

So did we, but you can only give

your wares away for so long...

...and then you actually

have to buy something.

Didn't I ask for coffee an hour ago?

Excuse me.

Could I have some more co--?

Fell off the face of the f***ing earth.

What do you have to do--? They have

one job and they can't do that right.

-Jane. Please.

-What? What?

Will you not have one of your fits.

I mean, we're having

a really lovely time. Okay?

He's gay.

He's not gay.

-Oh, okay.

-You just met his wife.

Who has a serious bug up her ass...

-...and has a reason.

-She does.

What does she have

to complain about?

Do you know how much her clothes

cost? They're hideously overpriced.

-Sweetheart, you buy them.

-Oh, they're gorgeous.

Who cares if you don't get

another coffee?

Was it worth making us look

like crazy people...

...in front of our new friends?

Just tell me.

What horrible injustice was done

to you that you have to act this way?

What is it that you don't have...

...that you have to walk straight

into a plate-glass window?

Or that you can't get up the incentive

to wash your f***ing hair.

-I wash my hair.

-Yeah, when?

Have you seen it recently?

Just tell me, are you intending

to go to the benefit looking like that?

What's the point? It gets dirty

and you have to wash it all again.

That's what civilized people do.

They get up and they wash their hair.

And when it gets dirty,

they wash it again.

-Well, I don't want to.

-Jesus. Is this your idea of rebelling...

-...against the way things are?

-I'm not rebelling.

-What are you doing?

-I'm just tired.

Of what?

I just guess I feel like there's no more

wondering what it's gonna be like.

Like what's gonna be like?

My fabulous life.

You don't like your life?

No, I do. I like my life.

Good.

I hate black tie.

You know,

Olivia's bringing some guy again.

We're buying some guy

a $ 1000 dinner?

I know. At first,

I was kind of annoyed.

But then I just feel so bad

that I introduced her to Mike.

I mean....

I had no idea he'd be such a dick.

And then she knew

David wasn't coming...

...and there's an extra seat,

so you know.

Still have to talk to him.

Well, just sit

at the other side of the table.

It's for a good cause.

What? ALS or Olivia?

Wow, you look amazing.

Thank you.

Maybe this guy will be the right one.

It only takes one.

Do I have a smudge?

No.

It's just, I think

you might be a little casual.

Do you have a tie?

l-- Oh....

So, what's he like?

He sounded kind of nice.

More like her

than her other boyfriends.

Isn't it weird how they throw

these fancy parties for money?

Why don't they give the money

to the sick people directly?

It seems like such a waste, right?

Anyway....

You know, I don't think

the two of you have much in common.

I know. I sometimes wonder

if we met now...

...if we'd be friends.

Not likely.

Probably not.

That's good.

-That's so true.

-Yeah.

That is so true.

You're funny.

-Max?

-Yes?

Do you like these shoes?

Or are they too clunky?

-What's "clunky" mean?

-It means, you know, heavy.

Not delicate. Like chunky.

You're not gonna give me

any help, are you?

Good boy.

When we met, I had like

400 different kinds, remember?

Yeah, I do.

I was obsessed with shampoo.

I thought if I could find

the right one...

...my hair would be

the hair I always wanted.

Like, every time I washed

it was a new opportunity.

A new chance to be pretty.

Just right.

Then I married you...

...and I found out they all have

the same sh*t in them.

You guys...

...I love this stuff.

This is amazing.

Lookit, this is expensive stuff.

Oh, my God,

would you smell that candle.

-Vomit.

-What?

-Here.

-Oh, please. You serious?

-Yeah.

-You know what?

Give her the whole thing.

Thank you. Oh, my God.

Listen, I'm keeping mine.

It's what you put in this bag anyway.

If you want to, you could

just donate that directly to ALS.

Oh, f*** you.

-How is Max?

-He's okay.

He's gonna go to a shrink.

I think it'll help him.

-Yeah, that's good.

-In case you're wondering...

-...my husband and I just split.

-I know, Olivia told me everything.

Sorry. I'm divorced too.

It's really hard at first.

Marty has a daughter.

And I actually saw a picture of her.

She's so cute.

-She's 10. She's beautiful.

-Really?

-What's her name?

-Ivy.

Ivy. I love that name.

So, Marty, what do you--?

What do you do?

I mean, for a living?

I dabble in some stuff...

...and...

...opportunities, investments.

I get stuff done.

-There's so much stuff in this auction.

-Yeah, there are.

Reese Witherspoon

will knit me a sweater.

-Sweetheart, look at this.

-So weird.

Tandem bike.

We could get that and ride that.

How long would that take?

Does anyone know

what a Donzi boat is?

-I don't.

-Oh, my God.

Who would pay to walk on

Nip/Tuck?

Oh, God, I would.

I'd be there in a shot.

That surprises me.

Why?

Is this pretty f***ing small

for 1000 bucks.

Jane, please.

Before we start eating

our really small food...

...I wanna make a toast...

...to the fact that, you know,

we don't have ALS...

...or anything horrible.

-Yet.

-Jesus, Matt.

No, no, no, it's true.

This is when starts. This is the age.

No sh*t, man. I just found out

I have 15 percent bone loss.

-Which bone?

-What is bone loss?

It's absolutely normal.

It's like kind of before osteoporosis

sets in.

Welcome and thank you all for being

part of this very important evening.

Project ALS is driving

scientific research forward.

And tonight, we are paying tribute

to the individuals....

You were the prettiest one there.

He was actually really nice.

And did you see his jacket?

It was--

It was really quite beautiful.

-Whose?

-Olivia's boyfriend.

The fabric, it was quite gorgeous.

Oh, I don't think so.

And I know fabric.

No, no. I felt it on the way out.

It was cashmere.

Pretty expensive.

He does seem nice, you know?

And she looked sort of happy.

And the girls just looked great

in your clothes.

You were the prettiest one there.

-Hi.

-Hi.

Did he go to sleep okay?

-Yeah, it was fine.

-Good.

Thanks. Good night.

Good night.

I know they're a really depressed

group of people.

No. That's probably why I was

so comfortable around them.

Really? You liked them?

Yeah.

I'm sorry about Matt.

God, he asked all those questions

about, you know, your work.

I don't usually tell people this...

...unless I've known them

for a long time...

...but I don't work.

Yeah. I don't blame you.

I mean, if I could figure out a way

not to do it, I wouldn't either.

I mean, right?

No, I mean...

...l'm really rich.

Yeah, you wish.

No, I mean it.

My family, my father actually...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes