Fright Page #21

Greensuit suddenly jumps on the window and begins poking at it and shaking their head like they’re having a seizure.

Jamy:
Motherf***er!

Dorito:
Where’s the f***ing bridge?! Where’s the f***ing bridge--?!

Jamy twists the wheel and they crash into a house, Greensuit is launched onto the roof as they run into the house. Ash is on the couch watching porn when they bust through the door.

Ash:
What the--

Jamy (heavily breathing): Is he dead?!

Ash:
Jamy?

Dorito:
Who’s dead?

Jamy:
Greensuit!

Ash:
What?

Jamy:
Greensuit was chasing after us!

Ash (pulling out his pistol and getting up): Sh*t, Where is the f***er?

Jamy:
On your roof.

Ash (running out the door): Come on motherfuckers! We’re gonna kill a f***er.

They run out and they see Greensuit laying on the roof.

Ash (aiming at Greensuit): Motherf***er, alright.

Ash shoots at Greensuit as Greensuit jumps up (they break the window and go through it) and is able to avoid the bullets.

Ash:
God dammit!

Ash throws his pistol down and sits on the car hood, crying.

Dorito:
F***ing get in there! F***ing get in there!

Jamy:
What the f*** are you doing, Ash?!

Ash:
I’m out of ammo.

Dorito:
Oh motherf***er.

Jamy:
Get a knife and f***ing kill him!

Ash:
There’s the thing. I may be a cop, but I never killed anybody, I never have tried to kill someone. It is--

Dorito (grabbing Ash): Come on f***er, It is time to kill.

Ash:
A time to kill! Hell yeah! A Kurtwood Smith movie!

Dorito:
He was supposed to be in Halloween.

Ash:
What?

They walk in the house, Cedar Rapids is on in the scene Kurtwood Smith is in as they hear glass breaking and plates breaking.

Ash:
He’s in the kitchen.

Jamy:
No sh*t.

Ash (as they take cover behind a wall): Y’all stay here.

Dorito (pulling out a pistol): Take this.

Ash:
No, No, I’ll do it old-fashioned style.

Jamy (as Ash goes in the kitchen): Motherfucking retard.

Ash goes in, and grabs a cord that is charging his phone. He then begins choking Greensuit with it as Greensuit begins spitting blood on the suit as Dorito begins aiming for Greensuit.

Dorito:
I’m gonna take the shot--

Jamy:
Shoot him! F***ing shoot him! Don’t tell me--

Greensuit suddenly gets the advantage and turns Ash around as Dorito shoots (he shoots Ash in the chest mistakenly). Greensuit then looks down at him (tilts head), and then runs off and jumps out of the window. The car alarm goes off, and they hear Dorito’s car drive off.

Ash:
Agh! I had to have open heart surgery and now that’s f***ing--

We cut to Ash being wheeled out in the hospital as Luke walks to Jamy and Dorito (Luke and Jamy hug), Loomis walks in too.

Loomis:
F***ing left me out there and didn’t tell me where to go--!

Luke (as hug ends): Well, I’m sorry, You said you’ve been here before.

Loomis:
That was the one in the county below us you f***er--!

Jamy:
Loomis?

Loomis:
Jamy. How ya doing?

Jamy:
Okay, We were hanging out with Ash and Greensuit attacked us but Ash got injured saving us, Greensuit left because he thought he died.

Luke (making sound of relief): OH thank f***ing god.

Loomis:
How do you know it’s a he?

Dorito:
Scream killer’s a he, and the rules of what’s going on, you can never have sex, you can never drink or do drugs--

Luke:
And never go on planes according to the news report of 703 people’s deaths.

Dorito:
and never say I will be right back, are pretty much Scream’s plot.

Luke:
Yeah, I suppose so.

Loomis:
Excuse me, What’s Scream?

We cut to Tim walking in a bar as heavy metal music from a slasher movie plays. He sits on a barstool and he pulls out a bottle of water (that he begins drinking).

Bee (black female bartender who walks up to him): You’re drinking water in a bar?

Tim (chuckling):
I don’t drink beer--

Bee:
Everyone drinks beer honey.

Tim looks at her (eye contact), and we cut to them having sex in a bathroom, We hear women laughing as Bee moans loudly, We then cut back to Tim looking at her.

Bee:
Not gonna happen, honey.

Tim:
What?

Bee:
You, Me? Not gonna happen.

Tim (chuckling):
I don’t date blacks.

Bee:
You racist?

Tim (shaking his head): Oh no, Oh no, I just--

Bee (putting her hand on his cheek): God you’re cute.

Tim (awkwardly nodding): Thanks.

Bee (she goes and makes him a drink): I’ll give you one on the house. You seem f***ed up.

Tim:
Eh, I just witnessed one of my brothers get murdered by someone in a greensuit. F***ing fun day.

Bee (laughing out loud): You really are having a fun day huh?

Tim:
Yeah, I suppose I am having a really, really f***ing day huh?

Bee:
I suppose so.

Tim:
What’s this f***ing music playing?

Bee:
It was something from my favorite Slasher movie?

Tim:
Slasher movies? Those films are just blood porn, That’s all they are, try to convince me otherwise.

Bee:
Oh, You’re retarded huh?

Tim:
They cause school shootings and murders. Those and video games.

Bee (shaking her head): You’re so retarded huh?

Tim:
F*** you too black boy.

Bee:
Boy?

Tim:
It was a joke.

Bee:
Do I f***ing care?

Tim:
Do I f***ing care that you don’t f***ing care?

We cut to Tim walking in a shoe store, on the phone before he looks around at the store.

Tim:
Is this the Krusty Krab?

We then cut to Tim waking up in the bar, Bee is sitting next to him, staring at him.

Bee:
You okay there?

Tim:
Jesus Christ--

Bee’s phone rings and she picks it up, A random black guy voice is heard.

BGV:
Hello, Bee.

Bee:
Ah, Black f***er I don’t know.

Tim:
Who is it?

Bee shushes Tim.

BGV:
Can I ask you a green question?

Bee:
What does “Green Question” mean?

BGV:
What is your favorite slasher movie?

Bee (chuckling):
2008 Prom Night.

BGV:
That movie was f***ing awful you f***ing whore, I might as well kill you!

Bee:
Calm down, honey, I was kidding, Jeez, So f***ing funny.

BGV:
Who the f*** said I was trying to be funny?

Greensuit suddenly appears behind Bee and stabs her in the back as Tim jumps and pulls out a pocket knife.

Tim:
F***er!

Greensuit twists Bee’s neck as Bee falls down, and Tim lands a stab in Greensuit’s shoulder.

Tim:
HA!

Greensuit pulls it out and slices Tim in the chest.

Tim (patting his chest and taking his shirt off to reveal a bulletproof vest around his whole body): (sounding like that guy in John’s first trap in Saw IV) You’re f***ing dead!

Tim goes headfirst to headbutt Greensuit, but Greensuit stabs Tim in the chest.

Tim:
Go again!

They begin fighting each other (one throws a punch to the camera to transition the scene to a scene where Luke is doing coke in his car when Jamy knocks on the car window).

Luke:
F***!

Luke rolls the window down.

Jamy:
Uncle Luke?

Luke:
Call me Luke.

Jamy:
What the f*** are you doing?

Luke (snorting and coughing up blood): I-- I--

Jamy:
You’re doing drugs.

Jamy sighs as Luke puts the coke under the seat.

Jamy:
Why-- Why the f***, Luke?

Luke:
You don’t f***ing talk to me like that!

Jamy:
Why are you doing coke? You’re a f***ing cop! Do you know how much trouble you could get into--

Luke:
They already know.

Jamy (gasping):
You’re a corrupt cop.

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