Front Cover Page #3

For the sake of "Culture Chic."

[chuckles]

Thanks, Lyan.

Oh, one last thing.

Can you please

not bring the tour group?

Thanks.

[carefree music]

There are way more choices

in America, huh?

Made in China, huh?

So how long have you been

with your girlfriend?

Three years.

And does she buy

all your clothes?

Uh, yes.

Well, you should fire her.

She's not doing

a very good job.

Hmm.

Ning?

Please come here

for a second?

So, um,

is your girlfriend

gonna visit you anytime soon?

It's hard for a girl

to get a visa.

America no free.

Mm.

She not allow visa before

we leave, so we work out it.

Oh, and, uh,

what does she do?

She, uh,

won a beauty prize.

Now she wants

to be a actress.

Wedding bells?

She wants,

but if I marry,

fans not happy.

What's her name?

Miao.

Miao?

What is she, a p*ssy?

P*ssy?

Urn, yeah, it's, uh,

it's a fashion word

for, um, stylish.

Yeah, kind of like

catwalk.

P*ssy.

So you are p*ssy?

Yeah, I'm--

I'm very p*ssy.

Thanks.

Uh, so is she

your first girlfriend?

Why do you want

to know about her?

Uh, nothing, just--

just making conversation.

Earlier this year,

the Parson family

decided they were going

to try to survive

without using any products

made in China.

Without using any products

made in China.

Mr. Parson, what inspired you

to start this 100% USA campaign?

Mr. Parson:
Well,

I was taking my boys

shopping for baseball gear,

and we noticed everything

in the shop's made in China.

I looked at my boys,

and I wondered how

could they have any pride

or sense of belonging

if everything they--

[TV clicks off]

Did you see that?

They say made in China

is bad for America.

- What are you doing?

- I cook for you.

Oh, I said

no need for dinner.

Hey, whoever crosses

the door is a guest.

Anything you don't eat?

No cams.

No, no crab,

don't worry.

Urn, what does that

t-shirt say?

Central Academy of Drama.

You know, you should just wear

that to the interview tomorrow.

Wear this shirt?

Not very respectful, no?

I think it says

a lot about you.

After all that cash

you made rne spend today,

you want rne

to wear this shirt?

[speaking native language]

Ryan, Gus's schedule

has changed.

He can only do tomorrow.

The pajamas aren't

ready yet, okay?

Gus is a f***ing big deal.

Just embrace it,

and don't f*** it up.

Ning, oh, they

finally dropped the pajamas off,

thank God.

Hey, tell the doorman

the Chinese press coming.

Wh-- what press?

They want to interview rne.

[chuckles]

No, no, no, no, no.

Gus doesn't allow any press

when he shoots, so.

I told them yes first.

They already are

waiting outside.

Um...

all right, let me

just ask Gus first, okay?

[sighs]

Gus:
Chair goes over there.

[clears throat]

Gus:
Put the chair

over there.

[sighs]

Uh, hi, Gus?

How's it going?

Is he ready?

I got to catch a plane

at 7:
00.

Well, um, 7:
00,

I didn't--

Where is he?

Um, well,

he's almost ready.

It's just that, uh--

well, he was wondering

if a very famous public--

Chinese publication can--

No!

Urn, Gus says no.

I know.

He has a big voice.

All right, don't worry.

Let me handle the press.

Gus:
What are we

waiting for?

[speaking foreign language]

He's an a**hole,

but he takes great pictures.

You'll be fine.

This is not gonna work.

Well, what's the matter?

Look at

his tricking underpants.

Ning, can you just--

No.

Talk to him in Chinese.

Tell him we can't shoot

with his underpants on.

Well, you tell him in English

I won't do what he wants.

- Ning, please, can you just--

- No!

Look, this shoot's

as important to you

as it is to me, okay, so--

I don't care

about American market.

But I do!

Okay.

[sighs]

But I want

everybody out.

Wh-- no, Gus doesn't do--

If he can shout,

he can move lights around.

We can't let white

devil win all.

Oh, my God, Ning, this isn't

a time to get political.

Tooth tor tooth.

He should

respect people more.

[sighs]

Gus, he wants everyone out

of here so he can--

[indistinct speech]

All right, guys, this is

a closed set from now on,

so everyone out except for the,

uh-for assistants.

- Right.

- You heard him.

Let's go.

Out, quick, move, move.

Thank you.

Dex, what time is it?

4:
00.

Are you ready yet?

[sighs]

Thank you so much

for doing this.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

Oh, this is no good.

What is wrong now?

Look at his tricking feet.

You know, I can get Dex.

I can just--

I got a plane to catch.

Come on.

No, no, no, no,

don't you move!

I'm still shooting.

I hate working

with f***ing amateurs.

You don't have to do this.

Gus:
Oh, for Christ's sake,

hurry up.

Come on, hurry up, hurry up,

hurry up!

Come on!

What the f*** are you doing,

giving him a pedicure?

I thought you people

were supposed to be good

at that sort of thing.

Shut the f*** up!

Come on, let's go.

[dramatic music]

[phone buzzes]

Merde!

I can't believe it!

You're fired!

Well, fine.

[phone beeps]

Sh*t.

You can always come

to work in China.

China?

I know many actors there.

You can style them.

I can't even

speak Mandarin, okay?

Good, they like that.

You'll do even better.

"Vogue," "GO,"

they're all in China now.

You'll start own company.

Here you're just a kid.

In China you are a--

A lion?

Yes, Lyan.

[laughs]

Thanks.

That shirt looks

really good on you.

Oh, no, it looks

better on you.

No, really, no.

It looks good.

Hey, Ning,

you ever try weed?

Mmm.

[both chuckle]

How do you feel?

Very...

USA.

[laughs]

[both laughing]

Very USA.

[both laughing]

[laughs]

[Amanda Lear's

"Fashion Pack" plays]

Oh, girl,

this is my jam.

Ooh, ooh.

[singing] It was night

And suddenly

I felt like dancing

I took a cab to show me

to the disco scene

He said, "Okay

"You want to see

those crazy people

Hustling out the door

to get into Studio 54?"

[singing] Who is in?

Who is out?

Oh, jamma, jamma, jamming

Who is in?

Who is in?

Who is in?

[doorbell rings]

[doorbell rings]

" Lyan?

Lyan

[speaking native language]

It's mom.

Oh, f***.

[speaking native language]

Open the door.

Open the door.

Mom, I told you to call

before you come.

[speaking native language]

Remember, we're meeting Mama.

Oh, sh*t, I forgot.

[speaking native language]

What a mess.

Young people are like that.

You had a party?

No.

Yeah.

[Ning sneezes]

Aya.

[speaking native language]

Let's go.

He has to come with us.

Let's go.

Your Mama misses you.

Oh, yeah, no, I'm--

I'm coming with you.

Just, um,

I have a friend.

Uh, Mom, Dad,

this is Ning.

Hello,

Mr. Fu,

Mrs. Fu.

[speaking foreign language]

You speak Cantonese?

I speak Mandarin.

Oh, you speak Mandarin?

Please sit.

- You want tea?

- Uh"

[speaking foreign language]

Talk to him in Mandarin.

Talk to him.

Go talk to him.

Uh, how are you?

Good.

Sorry, my Cantonese is rusty.

Why don't we just speak

in English, okay?

Um, so Dad,

do you recognize him?

He's an actor from Beijing.

Oh, actor?

Um, we saw TV you in?

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