Frozen Page #3

Wait for them and it's all set.

I am not waiting till we get back

to campus to eat.

I am starving.

Why didn't you just eat

some of that pizza?

Oh, you mean the cardboard

with tomato sauce you guys ate?

That's not pizza.

That's like roller-skating-rink-

birthday-party pizza. No.

There's a Papa Gino's in the way back.

It's like 15 minutes down the mountain.

Sweet.

I may eat a whole real pizza

myself, thank you.

Dan:

Whoa, look at those guys.

We are definitely hitting

that jump this time.

Last run, got to make it count.

Hey, Sullivan, hey.

Hey, man, do me a solid.

I've got to take a piss so bad I can taste it.

- What? What?

- I'll just be gone for two minutes.

A**hole.

- Jesus.

- It's just the wind, Parker.

Don't you mean baby?

Man on radio:

Last chair is through.

All set down here.

Man on radio:

Let's go home.

Oh, come on.

It's freakin' cold up here!

We don't have time for this.

Thank you.

Anyone know any good jokes?

Uh...

what did the 14-year-old girl

from New Hampshire

say to her dad

when she lost her virginity?

Get off me,

you're crushing my Marlboros.

Yup.

What do you think the worst

way to die would be?

Parker:

That's not morbid.

Yeah, seriously,

that's kind of spooky, Dan.

See, I think being eaten by a shark,

that would be the worst way to go.

Not like one of those surfers

who gets attacked from below.

You know, never sees it coming.

Like the poster for "Jaws. "

The chick on the "Jaws"

poster was hot.

She was?

I don't know. She was naked

and naked chicks are hot.

What if you actually saw

the fin coming towards you?

That'd be worse than being eaten,

I think.

I mean, knowing this giant animal

is coming at you

and it's gonna eat you alive.

Did you ever see the video,

by the way,

of that great white that's jumping out

of the water and eating the seal?

Yeah, that's why I only swim in pools.

I think burning would be

the worst way to go.

Well, yes and no.

I mean, most people die of smoke

inhalation before fire even touches them.

It's a fact.

I remember watching TV

for three days straight

after 9/11.

The footage they showed of those

people leaping off the Trade center.

can you imagine how bad

it must have been inside

to know that jumping would have

been the better way out?

Yeah, but they say that when you jump

from that height your heart stops.

You don't feel it

when you hit the ground.

Okay then, Lynch,

what is the worst way to die?

- What?

- Oh no no no.

You have an answer for everything.

What is your biggest fear?

That's easy.

The sarlacc pit.

I'm sorry, the what?

The sarlacc pit

from "Return of the Jedi. "

Uh, hello. Being slowly digested

over 1000 years...

worst death ever.

"Dan, why don't I ever

have a girlfriend?

Why?"

Hey, shut up.

Why hasn't the chair started again?

Just give it a minute.

This is nothing, man.

At Stowe last year,

me and Sullet

were stranded for like 25 minutes.

This big chick fell at the top

and twisted her leg, you know?

And I was like, fine, people.

Just hoist her off to the side.

Keep the line moving.

But no, they had to stop,

celebrate it right there.

We all had to stay on the lift

and freeze our asses off.

Honestly, by the end of it I couldn't

feel my fingers.

Dan:

What? come on.

Lynch:

Oh, come on now.

Man, this is so messed up.

- Are you kidding me?

- Dan.

I kind of just shat my pants a little bit.

I'm not gonna lie.

Hey!

Turn the goddamn lights on!

They forgot that we're up here.

No one knows we're up here.

They didn't forget

that we're up here, okay?

There's cameras all over the place.

- Hello!

- Hey!

A**holes, start the chair!

We're freezing!

Oh my God.

What if they can't get the chair moving?

What if... what if everyone went home?

Hey hey, you know what you need to do?

You need to stop, okay?

You're just scaring the sh*t out of me.

By the way, remind me to knock

the sh*t out of that chairlift guy.

What exactly did you say to him?

What? Nothing.

I didn't say anything to him.

Well, you clearly pissed him off

enough to do this.

Look, he knows we're up here.

Then why are the lights off, Dan?

Is that part of their policy?

Turn off the lights

and scare the customers?

I don't know.

Maybe it's a power outage

or something, okay?

That stuff happens all the time.

They didn't go home.

That's retarded.

This is so messed up.

I mean, worst-case scenario

they send up a ladder

or something, right?

Worst case I could just jump.

I've done that before.

It's not so bad.

We have to get off these chairs.

We can't stay up in this chair.

Why isn't the goddamn chair

moving, Dan?

You acting all psycho is not gonna

make the chair move along, okay?

All right?

Please don't yell at me.

I didn't mean to yell.

This sh*t happens

all the time though, okay?

I mean, they can't just leave

people up on chairs.

You know the kind of lawsuit

that they would have?

What other people?

There wasn't anybody

in front of us.

They're not gonna leave us

up here all night.

That's all I'm saying.

It's Sunday.

It's f***ing Sunday

and they're not open again till Friday.

We're gonna be stuck

here all week.

Oh God.

We're not gonna

be stuck up here.

Parker.

Parker, look at me.

come on, there is no way a ski resort

would let that happen,

no matter how shitty

they are, okay?

Hello!

Somebody help us, please!

- Somebody! Hello!

- Hey hey hey.

- come on, it's all right.

- Somebody!

Shh.

come on, it's okay.

They're gonna turn

the power on in a minute.

We're all gonna be

laughing about this. Seriously.

I have to pee.

I have to pee wicked bad.

Yeah, that makes two of us.

Ew, Lynch.

If you pull your junk out

in front of me, I might puke.

Well, what do you want me to do?

I've got to go.

How am I supposed to go?

I don't know. Just, you know,

lift this up and bend down.

Are you crazy?

Put the bar down.

It's just a safety bar, okay?

It doesn't really do anything.

Well, I like the safety bar and I like it

down where it's supposed to be.

Well, how are you gonna piss?

- I can hold it.

- For a week?

What? She's the one saying

we're gonna be here for a week.

I can hold it.

Well, I can't.

I'm pissing.

Ew, that is so gross, Lynch.

Well, too bad, okay?

Make me wait up here

in this below freezing weather...

while I wait for this Fisher-Price

lift to work.

Ah.

Oh sh*t.

Hey!

We're up here!

Hello!

- Somebody help us!

- Somebody!

- Put the bar down, Joe.

- Help!

Put the goddamn bar down, Joe!

Parker:

God, it feels like a needle.

Hey!

Hey!

What did I tell you guys?

Parker:

Hello!

- Hey!

- Hey, we're over here!

Whoo-hoo!

Up here!

- Whoo-hoo!

- Help us!

Help us!

Man on radio:

cody, this is base.

Parker:

Why is he stopping?

He's gonna help us.

He sees us.

Go for cody.

Hey man, where you at?

I'm cutting over to Pinewood

to pick up Barnes.

No, man, Barnes just landed.

The mountain is clear.

come back to base so we can

get the hell out of here.

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