Full Frontal Page #4

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But... and we should,

- Hey, Carl, how you doing, pal? | - Good to see you,

- You look great, | - Thanks, Uh,

you know, that's amazing | that you called today,

because I... ahem... | I needed to see you,

I have an idea, I have an idea, | I think it's a cover,

You got slobber | all up on your,

Mmm,

What time is it?

Oh, I feel... I feel nauseous,

Are you ready to talk | about this?

Ohh, Nicholas,

look, I think

and I'll probably write | a very nice piece about you,

but you're really annoying | about this whole letter thing,

No, You're annoying,

Mm-hmm, OK,

CARL:
You see, I think that is | worth discussing. I really do.

Well, Carl, I'll discuss

because every time | you've come into my office,

every time | I've asked to see you,

or you've come to see me | with an idea,

about a cover | or a feature story,

or anything you want to do,

it always has validity, | It always has,

it's important to me | to hear your ideas, you know?

Thank you, thank you.

Let me ask you a question.

The reason I called you in | today, actually...

Yeah, Sorry, Ahem,

I have a question for you...

and it's kind of important | to me to hear the answer,

And the question is,

when you go to your | refrigerator in your home,

and you open the door, | and you see a bottle of beer,

do you take | that bottle of beer,

and pour it into a glass | and drink it,

or do you drink it | from the bottle?

Um, I... I... | well, I drink it from a glass.

Ah, you see?

Ohh, That's the problem,

You see, I want this magazine | to drink from the bottle,

In talks? What the f***, Alex?

Tch, All right, in talks,

I need this,

All right, all right,

NICHOLAS:
| I suppose we've come a ways...

since Sambo, Mr. Bojangles.

"Step and fetch it, boy. "

"What? | Man, call me Mr. Tibbs... "

we've heard Poitier say.

It's a new day, some say.

Because every now and then, | black men are even in.

Motion picture heroes. | It's the American way, Wesley.

Be cute | and still save the world.

Yes, we will, Will.

Go from Boy in the Hood | to Man of Honor.

Show 'em the money now, Cuba.

Give 'em funnies | like Chris Rock or Tucker,

Or just cool it, | be anybody, like Denzel,

But wait, He ain't even really | getting no loving,

like Sidney before him | and whoever after him,

Romancin' and dancin' | with amore's passion,

ain't in the script's equation,

But can even Mr, Washington,

briefly be seen kissing | a Pretty Woman,

underneath a Pelican Moon?

Can even he be a romantic lead?

Check it, From Sambo to Sidney | to Denzel to me,

Brothers ain't getting | nor giving no love now,

I don't want to complain, but | my doctor says I'm suffering,

from underloved syndrome,

Maybe it is a conspiracy, | But do folks still fear,

the black man's sexuality | like that?

A fear that could be wiped out | just by seeing us love,

not by race, but by heart,

And can't a brother | get some love?

Now, that, Catherine,

is a question | for the screen pages,

written by folks | who rarely look like me,

but want to see me | run and jump and shoot,

but don't care to see me kiss | a woman with my skin tone,

and would shoot me if I were | kissing a woman of their hue,

Who are you?

Who are you? Who are we?

We are human, too,

and we love loving, and,

can't a brother get some love?

That's the state of being,

a chocolate leading man | in Hollywood today,

I keep bringing it up,

because I don't want you | to think I forgot,

Look, you just pay me back | when you have all of it,

I have half now, so...

- It just feels awkward, | - Please,

- Hi, | - Right this way,

- Thank you, | - Thanks,

What would you like | to start with?

Some evian or pellegrino?

- Thank you, | - You're welcome,

You still going on your weekend | with that guy from the internet?

Mm-hmm, | No, I haven't cancelled,

I'm putting myself out there, | I'm going,

Good, | You need money for that,

You want me to meet men,

You could meet men there, | There'll be plenty,

I can't come tonight, | I can't,

On the internet? | How is that meeting?

It's encountering,

What airline are you flying?

Southwest.

- Southwest? | - Yeah,

That's a good airline,

Southwest, younger man,

new underwear, Tucson,

What is your point?

Have you ever stayed | at a Holiday Inn?

No, Have you?

I think that's what's | really bothering me.

You know what, Lee?

So if that's what's | really bothering you...

- What does he do? | - He's an artist,

- An actor, | - A painter,

In Tucson?

Yeah, He says the desert | inspires him,

- Lend me what? | - What is wrong with you?

Seriously, what is wrong | with you right now?

Friday. Fridays are good. | T. G. I. F. Fridays are good, Lee.

You're acting insane.

I'm going to have the squash,

But this is | a boundary issue, man!

What I do off-stage is | my process and my business, OK?

And I don't care | what anybody thinks.

And it's my business | to put on a play,

And now I've got three hours | to find a new Eva Braun,

Oh, OK, You know what?

And here's why, Number one...

anyone who's offended | by drinking blood,

obviously doesn't drink blood,

Number two... anybody who drinks | as much blood as I do,

knows it has no effect,

Number three...

there is absolutely | no scientific connection,

between drinking | a shot of blood a day,

and being | an extraordinary actor,

And number 4... it is impossible | to prove number 3,

You know, do the words Masai

Do you know who that is?

Yeah, Herzog made | a documentary about them,

The herdsmen of fire, | warriors of Africa.

They drank blood.

Jack f***ing LaLanne | drank blood in the fifties.

Yeah, granted, | his wife wouldn't kiss him...

but this is bullshit, man.

I don't care what you do | outside of this theater,

I don't give a sh*t, You could | eat the ass out of a dead wolf,

I don't care,

Just keep it to yourself, OK?

Just keep it to yourself,

I think it's f***ing hysterical | that she walked,

And I know comedy,

LINDA:
I don't understand.

I don't understand | what's wrong.

I mean, birthdays are fun.

Well, OK, this is mom

at my birthday | introducing me to people,

"And this is Lee, She ruined | my body, didn't you, dear?"

- There, | - Thanks,

I won't be here tomorrow, | so happy birthday.

Oh, It's smaller than the gift | you gave me last year,

for my fortieth birthday,

You know what, Lee, you make | forty a bigger deal than it is.

You have no idea about forty,

I'll be forty.

What did I give you last year? | I don't even remember.

You know, that... that thing, | That,

- Oh, You didn't like it? | - No,

Well, honestly, | I would have rather had...

just, like, | a card or something.

OK, God,

It's just a weird gift | to give your sister...

who's married, | on her fortieth birthday.

You know what Gus gave me | last year for my birthday?

First edition of Bernard Shaw's | The Sanity of Art.

Did you get anything out of it?

- Which? | - The gift I gave you,

Are you kidding?

No, I mean, yes or no,

But for my fortieth birthday?

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