Full Moon High Page #2

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By all rights you should be a dead man,

or at least have rabies.

Ouch, what am I doing?

Wait till Oral Roberts hears about this.

Oh, it's you.

I thought it was the Secret Police.

They're after my microfilm.

I hid everything.

Where?

I can't tell ya, don't ask.

We're taking the next

plane out of this hellhole.

Dad uh, the strangest

thing happened to me.

Did you have a good time?

Did you get laid?

I hope not.

Come on, let's pack.

Ooh ah, ooh ah, ooh ah.

Will the person that

ordered this special meal

please raise his hand.

Over here, over here.

Oh, that airline food.

Okay folks, this is a hijacking.

Wake up, wake up!

We're going to die, we're going to die!

We're taking this plane to Cuba!

Ah, more goddamn commies?

They're coming out of the woodwork.

We'll tie up everybody and

blindfold them on this plane.

Tony, I'm worried about my son, Tony.

This is a fine time to go to the John.

Keep that mutt quiet!

All right, we'll get the blindfolds.

Can anybody see me?

Speak up, I can't hear you.

No!

All right, that's good.

You dope, you forgot to tie 'em up.

They don't need to be tied up.

I got 'em tied right here.

Oh, oh, I'm so scared.

Don't let go.

I can tell you're frightened too.

But you've got such strong hands.

That's why I like to

fly on American planes.

They don't allow dogs on

the planes or chickens.

Oh God, can you imagine

flying with a chicken.

You know.

Oh, you're wearing fur coat too.

You know, I think that's

just so masculine.

Ooh, got a hangnail there.

Better be careful.

There ain't nothing back there.

What's the matter with you?

Look, I can see, I can see.

What the hell is it?

Cover me.

What is that?

Keep away from it, man.

Ooh,

ooh, simmer down, ooh, ow.

It's okay, folks.

Oh, for goodness sake,

Tone, what's going on?

You're on cloud nine or something.

Stop being a playboy and

settle on the business.

I'm sorry, sir, I keep

hearing this violin music.

Violins, it's usually

bells, isn't it guys?

Bagpipes.

All right, let's stop

monkeying around guys.

Tony let's try that thing

where you throw the ball.

Oh no, not again.

Yeah, yeah, I know,

Tony.

Tell me how you feel.

Hey, why don't you talk to me?

What am I speaking in a Romanian accent?

Should I come back after dark?

Good boy.

Oh, no.

Offside, I got you cornered now.

No no no, Janie.

Jane, can I call you later, please?

No, you certainly can not.

You've been back from

Europe one whole week,

and you haven't phoned me one time.

Is it over between us, Tony?

How did I screw up?

You didn't screw up, I screwed up.

Look, I don't even know who I am anymore.

Get off of me.

What's with the sudden

identity crisis is

just from one week in Romania?

What got into you?

Look I got some dreaded disease

only whispered about

in the dark ages, okay?

Is that all?

A little penicillin, take

care of it just like that.

No no no.

It can't be that severe.

I mean, you're running better than ever.

Yeah, well you should see me fetch.

Fetch me, Tony, fetch me, huh.

What about Friday night?

No, no nights, no nights.

Not this time of month, okay?

What do you mean?

Only girls have to worry

about their time of month.

Oh, oh, Janie, I want out of here.

Now, leave me alone.

I gotcha, I gotcha.

Will you come on.

Will you grow up?

Come on, this is silly.

God, what a drag.

God, this is worse than a root canal.

Oh, I should've taken an aspirin, ouch.

Oh god, what a bummer.

I can't go on like this.

Never again, I'll never do it again.

Can we knock that off?

Can we hold down that visiting?

Now, this is a time in your lives

when your bodies are

undergoing great change.

We shouldn't be ashamed of our bodies.

Are you ashamed

of your body, teach?

Who said that?

Who said that?

Take cover!

Well, all right, that's better.

That's very good, that's excellent class.

In case of an attack of an atomic bomb

this class would darn well survive.

Tony, psst.

Psst, Tony.

Jane, please get away from me?

Come on, sex education class.

I wanna see one of those

squiggly things now.

I don't have any on me.

I find that hard to believe.

Listen, are you gonna

take me to the sock hop?

I'm gonna die if you don't.

You're gonna die if I do.

When you get under that desk

there's plenty of good solid wood

between you and that atomic bomb.

What's wrong with me?

Nothing, I'll take you to the sock hop.

I'll take you any place.

You're not Tony.

You got gum in your hair, yuck.

Oh, it's all right, it's my gum.

Besides, you'll be proud

to go anywhere with me

after I catch this

werewolf single-handedly.

I got this theory.

I think he's maybe somebody

that goes to this school.

I think maybe he's the kind of

guy that likes horror movies.

I think.

What're you doing

under there, Stanfield?

Your head goes between your own legs.

Stanfield?

That's the all clear.

Everybody up, up up, up up, up up.

Fido, come on boy.

Oh, here you are.

Okay pal, here it is, real

meat and meat byproducts.

A perfectly balanced dish.

Okay, dig right into that.

There you go.

Okay, good dog.

Werewolf or a real wolf.

Let one come around here.

Are you listening to me?

Uh, the dog's still hungry, Dad.

The last thing that dog

needs is food, he's too fat.

He oughta get some exercise.

Now, put that down and go

upstairs and do your homework.

You know, your grades are

slipping again this year?

I think your brains getting wooly,

and the way you're wolfing your food down.

What ever happened to your table manners?

No son of mine has ever done.

Don't leave the room

when I'm talking to you.

Not now.

Don't walk out when

I'm ordering you around.

Do you realize you just

growled at your father?

Insubordination, that's

how it was in the Army.

As soon as a man started growling,

we knew that discipline had broken down.

All right, son, we're

gonna have a little talk.

Staying out all night.

Watching too much

television, filthy language.

That's all right, but growling.

I will not tolerate

growling in this house.

Now, don't bear your teeth at me son.

I snarl when I smile.

That was no smile.

I've been grimaced by the

best men in the business

in 25 years of military service.

I know the difference between

a smile and a grimace,

and that was a grimace.

Dad, I had a very rough day

at football practice, all right?

Oh, excuse me.

How do you expect to throw a football

with fingernails long like that,

and that beard,

did you shave this morning?

That's the worst case of five

o'clock shadow I've ever seen.

Straighten up and go to your room.

Oh, this is your room.

All right then, I'll go to my room.

Now son, you're gonna have a

full physical in the morning.

I'm telling you,

somebody's ass at that

school is gonna be sued.

Son, don't look now.

No no, hold it, oh my God!

He's trying to kill me.

You feed them, they grow up and now look.

Ingrate, bum, wolf, wolf!

Keep away from me!

I'm your father, you creep!

What's happened to you?

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