Fun Size

---

download free movies at 3bmovies.com

Everyone loves Halloween,

especially in Cleveland.

When you're known as

"The Mistake By The Lake,"

the chance to pretend you're somebody

else for a night sounds pretty good.

My dad grew up here, too.

His theory was, "No matter

what happens in high school",

"college is where you figure

out who you really are."

Not just some pretend-for-a-night

version of yourself, but the real deal.

He went to NYU after he graduated,

which is where I'm planning on going,

provided I can survive

the insanity that is my family.

I know.

Everyone thinks their family's crazy.

But trust me...

- ...you don't have...

- Albert!

Him.

Seriously?

Albert!

Where are my b*obs?

Mom, Albert struck again,

that is twice this week.

Hon, he wants to be close to you.

Well, that makes one of us.

Have you signed my application yet?

Application for what?

Afghan citizenship. Hello? College loans.

Right. No.

Again with that jacket.

Why couldn't you have gotten attached

to something of your dad's

from this decade?

Mom. Application. Focus.

We need to talk about this, Wren.

I understand that you want to go to NYU,

but Ohio State

is just much less expensive.

I know it's a lot of money

and I promise not to major in English

so I can help pay it off.

When my dad died,

my mom kind of lost it.

She started dyeing her hair blonde,

shopping at Forever 21,

and going out with

a person named Keevin.

Joy.

M'lady.

M'dawg. Yeah.

Apparently, dating a 26-year-old

is one of the seven stages of grief.

Come on, Albert! Let's go!

So, which do you think,

sexy kitty or sexy mouse?

Can't you be a kitty without being sexy?

Um, no.

Hello? Being sexy is what's gonna get us

into Aaron Riley's party tonight.

We're never getting into

Aaron Riley's party.

We're not that cool.

It's really sad

that you're a pessimist.

Realist.

I read a statistic that

a good Halloween costume

can increase your chance

of popularity by 32%. So,

have you thought about

what you're going as yet?

I was thinking

maybe Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

We learned about her in Government.

Feminist icon? Supreme Court justice?

Aaron Riley is a musician.

He is not a law-abiding citizen.

He's not gonna know who that is.

What if I did a rap explaining who I am?

Stop. You're getting

your nerd juice all over me.

- Wren. Hey!

- Speaking of nerds. God.

- Hey, Roosevelt.

- Morning, ladies.

Happy Halloween. Right?

Albert, what's shaking, buddy?

Still not talking?

Nope. Going on almost a year.

Thanks. Hey, this monster's

got some pretty big eyeballs.

That looks like your sweater.

My b*obs. I'll take that.

So, what are you going as

for Halloween?

E.O. Wilson.

The father of sociobiology?

Exactly.

You two are going to costume jail for life.

Congratulations. You found someone

with a more obscure costume

than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Wait. You think it's obscure?

Hey.

Maybe you could do

an explaining rap, too.

I'm E.O. Wilson and I'm a scientist

I study ants and stuff if you get the gist

I'm about as cool as a guy can get.

Think Jason Bourne with a butterfly net.

- Yeah!

- Right?

- That was good.

- It's easy.

You could even do a stick bug dance

to really bring it home.

- Or you couldn't do that.

- Like one of these.

My God. What are you doing?

Don't... Don't do that.

- What? Don't do what?

- That.

Maybe you'll like

praying mantis better. Ready?

Whoo!

- Can you please stop it?

- You don't like that?

Wren, I said please.

The turtle is one

of my personal favorites.

Whoo!

Wren, please cut it out.

I'm gonna throw up.

Maybe this will

make you feel better.

I don't even know

what kind of bug this is.

But what do you think about

these moves, April?

How am I looking now?

Aaron Riley. God. Stud.

Legend.

Didn't know you could

move like that, Desantis.

You coming to my party tonight?

'Cause you should.

I should?

You should.

I should.

Maybe I'll play a song for you.

Wren. We're going

to Aaron Riley's party.

This is fully...

Albert!

He should not be off-leash.

Halloween just went from

another holiday I was trying to avoid

to possibly the greatest night of my life.

Okay, so now I really need

to figure out my costume,

because Ruth Bader Ginsburg

won't work.

What about sexy Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

No, that's weird.

April's got dibs on wildlife.

And Aaron Riley always goes

as the star of his favorite movie.

Why not? They keep making sequels.

No. Not a chance.

Hey. Look, you love Spider-Man.

He looks like a Mexican wrestler.

Whatever. For once,

you're not my problem tonight.

Thanks to some

inspiration from Pink Floyd,

I got it. Dorothy, from The Wizard of Oz.

Not only is she an iconic female hero,

but she also provides a costume

that I happen to have in my closet.

Yellow brick road, here we come.

Hey, Wren. What do you think?

I think people might misinterpret

what you mean by "trick or treat."

That's what you're taking Albert out in?

No, I forgot to tell you.

You're gonna watch Albert tonight.

I'm going to a party with Keevin.

A party? With Keevin?

Why are you saying his name like that?

It's not even a name, Mom.

You're either Kevin or you're Steven.

Keevin does not exist.

Keevin does exist,

and he is kind and employed.

No, Mom, I did not agree to this. Please?

Don't do this to me.

Honey, if you watch Albert tonight,

I'll sign the application

for NYU tomorrow.

And then this time next year,

you're gonna be

trick-or-treating the West Village!

I love you, thank you, you're welcome.

Happy Halloween, Spidey.

Aren't you adorable?

You have a lot to choose from.

Pick your favorite.

Honey! Honey,

I think we need more candy.

This sucks.

I can't believe we're missing the party.

How about this?

When's Albert's bedtime?

But if he's riding a sugar high,

sometime next week.

My God, it's Aaron.

How did he get my number?

A smiley face emoticon?

We have to go.

If we don't,

he'll move on to someone else.

My mom's been married three times.

Trust me, that is how love works.

Whose child is this?

Get over here.

Hi.

Does he belong to you?

He cleaned me out.

The sign says, "Take one."

Plus, I don't think

he needs the extra pounds.

Sorry, sir.

Albert, do you have any idea

what I sacrificed to be out here tonight?

Do we need to send you to rehab?

Okay, we're going to go

through the haunted house,

and then you're going to bed. Come on.

Damn! I've never seen you like that.

I guess the pressure of being

a teen mom is getting to me.

- Roosevelt!

- My...

Hey, Peng.

Wren, hey.

What the hell are you?

I'm Aaron Burr, fool.

The dude who shot Alexander Hamilton.

Check it. Period gat.

Don't worry, it's just an antique.

I'm going to step outside.

So, Wren,

listen, I think it's

really cool that you don't

feel the need

to dress sexy on Halloween,

like some other girls.

Thank you, Roosevelt.

Well, I'd better catch up with my brother.

So, you guys have a good night. Bye.

Albert?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes