Funeral Kings Page #2

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Nothing!

Some kid sold him

an empty box of cigarettes.

Oh, no.

How much did they cost?

- Not that much.

- 25 bucks.

Now that's embarrassing!

Thanks a lot, a**hole.

Did you pay for this?

- Yeah, obviously.

- All of it?

It's all you can eat, man.

You coming tonight, or what?

Wait, coming where? You going

to help us with the trunk?

- I don't know.

- What'd I just tell you about?

- What the f***!

- Watch where you're going!

F*** you a**hole!

F***ing cock sucker!

Relax, man!

He spilled all my egg rolls,

that sh*t's expensive!

I paid for the food, man.

Chill out.

Hey uh, do you still have that 20

bucks you borrowed from me?

Yeah... um...

I'm going to have to pay you

back tomorrow or something.

Sh*t!

- Who's that?

- Amanda Prescott.

Dude! Stop looking at her,

she's going to notice!

Did you see that look?!

Oh my god, man.

You were looking at her

like a prison inmate.

Hey!

You're that kid, right?

The kid

from the newspaper article?

Yeah, you're in that movie!

- Yeah, you see it?

- Not yet.

It's supposed to be

really messed up, right?

Some dad stabs his wife

to death or something,

and makes his kid watch?

- Yeah, I was the son.

- Oh my god, that's awesome!

Why'd you move out here?

To live with my mom.

So what are you guys,

freshmen or something?

- Oh no, we're-

- Yeah, we're freshmen.

Right on, so are you guys

going to the party on Friday?

Yeah, there's supposed to be some like amazing

party that some sophmore is throwing.

Yeah, we'll probably hit it up.

You should!

Well we gotta go, but we'll

see you later, movie star!

Bye!

You were in a f***in' movie?

- Why didn't you tell us?

- What movie was it?

Bloody Knuckles.

Bloddy f***in' Knuckles?!

Jesus Christ, man. That's unbelievable,

and you were that kid

that, like, watches

his dad murder his mom?

Yeah, it was pretty cool too, They had him,

like, stab her with a knife that went in,

so it wouldn't hurt her...

What are you doing home?

We weren't that busy at the bar.

Where are you going?

I've got to go to Andy's.

I gotta get a text book.

Oh, alright. Have fun.

Wait a minute.

It's midnight.

Yeah, well I've got to study,

so what am I going to do?

Your mom knows you're going?

Yeah, and keep it down.

You're going to wake her.

Yeah, alright.

Don't stay out all night.

What took you so long?

Blow me!

Hold on.

Alright, come on up.

Are you kidding me?

Hurry up!

- No way! Open the back door!

- Just climb!

Open the... This is quicker,

just climb the rope!

There's no f***ing way I'm

climbing up your

piss soaked,

dinosaur, f***ing blankets.

Where are you going?!

I'll ring the door bell

if I have to.

You ready?

- I guess.

- Just keep a look out.

If any lights come on,

just give us the signal.

Okay...

Knot's ready.

Let's do this thing.

Jesus, this thing's heavy.

I told you!

Guys. Uh, guys!

Ca-caw! Ca-caaw!

- What happend, is someone up?

- I think so!

Sh*t!

Yo, Dave. Dave!

- Yeah?

- Is he gone?

I think so.

Seriously dude,

make the signal next time!

I can hardly breathe under

that bed.

Don't be such an a**hole.

You're not an a**hole, Dave.

Dude, stop kissing his ass.

One... Two... Three!

What the hell

is the matter with you?

Sorry, Jesus Christ.

Try it again.

Holy sh*t!

Can you see inside?

No, I need a flash-light.

F***, f***, f***!

You've got to be kidding me.

Go away!

Whose dog is that?

It's the neighbor's.

They never tie him up.

- Sh*t!

- F***.

Are you shitting me?

Alright, give me the lantern.

Can you see anything?

No, not really.

Holy sh*t!

Are those fireworks?

Oh my god.

What? What?

We could use a hammer...

If a rock didn't work,

a hammer won't either, man.

What about a crowbar?

- You have a crowbar?

- Yeah, good point.

My dad's got a buzz saw!

You know how to use it?

Yeah, you just flip the switch.

Where are we going?

We've just got to make

a little pit-stop.

Do you really think

this is necessary?

Of course it is!

Who's car is this?

Don't worry about it.

Wait!

That'll mess up the paint!

No kidding...

Come on, one's enough.

One?

You remember what this kid

did to me?!

I'm going

to make this one count!

Dude what the hell!

This kid's going to kill you!

What the f***?

What the f***?!

The f***!!

Ahh!

F***.

When they show it on TV,

do you get paid for that?

I don't know. My parents just

sort of give me an allowance.

Wait, wait, wait.

You didn't even get paid?

My parents will give it to me

when I'm older.

I don't know, man.

We're never

going to find this thing.

I saw that girl you like

this morning.

- Who?

- Amanda, cross-country girl.

Where?

I think

she lives near my bus stop.

You guys still going to go

to that party?

Yeah obviously.

Our buddy, Felix, said his brother

could get us in.

Any luck?

No, dude, your dad

doesn't have a buzz saw.

Yes he does! Keep looking!

No. He doesn't.

Let's just grab some of his whiskey

and hang at the fort.

We're not stealing

my dad's booze!

It's not like he's going to notice.

F*** you, man.

Hey, uh, Charlie?

Can I use your bathroom?

You gotta take a sh*t?

- Then use the bush outside.

- Why can't I go inside?

The movie star too scared

to go outside?

No, I can go outside...

You know that kid

hasn't even gotten paid yet?

What?!

He says his parents are going

to pay him once he's an adult.

There's no way they're just going

to give up a million bucks.

You think he got that much?

Yeah, even shitty actors

are millionaires.

Whatever, I would have done it

just to see Valerie Rossignol's tits.

He saw her tits?

Yeah Felix said she showed them

in the movie,

and if he was in the movie

he's definitely seen them.

She didn't show her tits

in the movie.

Yes she did!

Did Valerie Rossignol really show

her tits in Bloody Knuckles?

No! Did you get to see them

in person?

Sh*t, hide!

What is she doing home?

So...?

- What?

- Did she show her tits or not?

Oh, I don't really know.

Yo, I'm serious,

shut the f*** up!

I think you'd remember seeing those

gorgeous tah tahs in person, Dave.

No, I mean I don't know if she

showed them in the movie or not.

Tell me you saw the movie,

Dave...

It was "R,"

and it was really violent...

Holy sh*t, Dave!

What is wrong with you?!

You haven't even

seen the movie?

I've seen the trailers and the

scenes I was in and stuff.

I saw the f***in' trailers!

You were in the movie.

Do your parents have a copy?

My dad does.

Let's go get it.

He lives in California.

Who the f***

are you living with?

Listen, it's not that big of a deal.

I don't need to see the movie.

It is a big deal, Dave.

It's a huge deal.

You were in the biggest movie

of last year.

Everybody saw it. Valerie Rossignol

shows her tits in it.

And you, the one guy

who deserves to see it, hasn't.

We've got to find a way

to get that movie.

You sure you want to do this?

Yeah, man.

Let's just get it over with.

Alright, don't p*ssy out on me.

Hey man, do you have

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