Funeral Kings Page #3

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that new mini-series

from the Discovery Channel

about the end of the world?

All the movies

are in alphabetical order.

Yeah I was looking,

but I couldn't find it.

It should be there.

Maybe you can help me look?

Fine.

Hey Iggy, I need to pick up.

I'm with a customer.

It's a f***in' kid.

Give me a few minutes.

Yo,

what do you think you're doing?

Come on, dude.

Please, please let me out!

Hey Johnny,

we don't have all day.

F***!

- Uh, I'll check the computer.

- No, no. It's alright.

Don't worry about it.

Jesus Christ, kid.

Sorry. He was just leaning against it

and it fell.

Well pick it up.

You want me to pick it up?

You expect me to pick it up?

- Stop! Just stop!

- Whoops.

Hey Iggy, I'm going to be back

in an hour. You going to be around?

Just give me a minute, kid.

Don't worry about it, man.

We'll come back later.

Oh sh*t.

Jesus Christ!

Dude, he had a gun!

He had several guns,

and he had bullets

and knives and sh*t.

He could've killed you!

No sh*t, David.

I had all this porn, too.

Yeah?

I f***ing dropped it all.

Tell me you got

Bloody Knuckles.

I wasn't real worried

about the movie, man!

What the f***, dude!

Who the hell

locked you in there?

The f***in' douche, Ryan.

He's a jerk, huh?

Yeah, David he's a "jerk."

So you were in that movie, huh?

Yep.

Did you see

Valerie Rossignol's titties?

Uh no.

That would've been awesome.

Yeah, I guess.

How big do you think they are?

What do you mean?

Like, what size?

Extra large?

They're huge.

I'll bet they're like

double-D's.

Did you see her

in Thunder-Riders?

Yeah, you know they digitally

enhanced her tits in that movie.

The f*** you talking about?

Yo, check it out! Molly and Sue

are sitting next to each other.

What do you think

they're talking about?

F*** off, man.

Who's Molly and Sue?

These chicks that Charlie

was obsessed with.

Molly and sixth,

Sue in seventh...

and he tried to get with both of them,

but Bobby took them first.

His heart was so crushed.

I wasn't obsessed.

Yes you were.

He didn't get with Molly.

He tried,

and he definitely got with Sue.

Bobby didn't even know

I liked her!

Everyone knew you liked her!

And there he was

with his hands in her pants

while they were watching

Garden State.

What?

I guess he didn't tell you,

because he didn't want you to

cry about it.

F*** you, man.

Where've you been?

Doctor's appointment.

I've got big news!

What happened to him?

I told him about Molly and Sue.

Dude that whole Molly giving him

head thing was just a rumor...

What?!

Well, cheer up, man.

'Cause I got bolt-cutters.

F***in' impossible!

- Let me try.

- No it's pointless.

I can do it.

Charlie if I can't do it,

you can't do it.

F*** you!

It's starting to give.

It's not giving at all!

F***ing impossible.

No one could break

this f***ing thing!

He has a Black Genesis!

A what?

It's like one of the rarest

Dragon Cards.

Don't tell me

you play with that sh*t.

I don't play that often.

How much you think

I could get for that?

I don't know

if you could get anything

it's just like one of the

best cards in the game.

You can definitely

get something for it.

How much you gonna give him,

Davey?

I'll sell it to you

for 50 bucks.

I don't have 50 bucks!

F*** you talking about,

you're a millionaire.

I'm not a millionaire,

it was just one movie.

Yeah what's up with that

anyway?

Nobody wants you

in their movies?

No, my parents just got into a fight,

so I moved back here.

What was the fight about?

I don't like to talk about it.

Your dad didn't want you

or something?

No, he just got into some trouble,

so I moved back here.

Trouble?

What kind of trouble?

He kill somebody?

No.

Is he going to go to jail?

I hope not...

Woah. Seriously?

I hope he doesn't go to jail...

I don't know.

What the f*** happened, man?

There was this girl

I had a crush on,

she was older than me,

but we hung out a lot.

How old?

Twenty. She played my sister

in the movie.

Your sister?

Dude that's f***in' weird.

Yeah, I guess.

Is she pretty?

Yeah.

...and?

I just wrapped up a scene...

Cut!

Doing what?

You know...

I'm not following.

They were having-

Holy sh*t!

They were having sex?!

Yeah...

Oh my f***ing god!

Was she naked?

Yeah.

That's awesome.

Wait, was your dad naked?

Yeah that's sort of

how it works.

But you got to see her naked!

That's f***in' great!

It wasn't.

Yeah dude, he had to see

his dad's dick.

The f*** were you looking

at your dad's dick for?!

I wasn't looking at-

I don't want to talk

about this...

What'd she look like?

Alright, Charlie, cut it out.

Alright, alright.

Jesus, I'm just saying...

You know what we ought to do?

What?

Bring all this sh*t to school.

Show everybody the gun.

What the f***

is wrong with you?

What?

You don't bring

a gun to school, Charlie.

That's how you land yourself

in Juvi.

You f***in' retard.

Okay!

God... You know it'd be

kind of cool though-

- You're an idiot.

- Yeah? F*** you.

Is that what happened to Bobby?

- What? - Did he bring a gun

to school or something?

What are you talking about,

man?

Is that why Bobby's in Juvi?

What the f***?

Bobby's in Juvi?

That's what Sister said.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

She kept saying

I should pray for him.

I wonder what he did.

Hey Andy?

Yeah?

You look tired.

I had a hard time

getting to sleep last night.

Is that right?

Yeah, why?

Is there anything

you want to tell me?

Like what?

Like where you were last night?

Come on Andrew. I heard you come in

at 12 in the morning.

Isn't this how your brother

got started?

Sneaking out, getting in

with the wrong crowd?

I'm not in

with the wrong crowd.

What were you doing?

I just needed to borrow a text

book from one of my-

Andrew, you're 14-years-old,

alright?

You're not a little kid

anymore.

Look, I know

your friends are your friends,

but ultimately, you are responsible

for your own actions.

So what, are you going to tell

my dad?

No... I'm not going to tell

him.

Thanks...

You know at some point,

you have to decide who you want to be

for the rest of your life.

You shoot it yet?

Nah, there weren't any bullets.

Where can we get our hands

on some bullets?

Dude, the store opens at noon.

Maybe it's a sign. I don't know

if I want to mess with this guy.

Yeah, a sign

that we have four hours.

Don't be a p*ssy-let's go!

Did she ground you?

She's not my mom,

she can't ground me.

Is she going to tell your dad?

I hope not...

Where's Felix and Charlie?

It's locked?

We should bail.

Hold on.

You know, Molly and Sue were

asking about you the other day...

Really?

No of course not!

F*** you, man.

Piece of cake.

Oh sh*t.

You weren't kidding.

Dude, none of these are fitting,

we should bail!

Give me that!

Bingo!

Wait!

Did you hear that?!

Have a seat.

Okay, so I know you're upset.

Upset?

This is not my fault.

A guy smashed my window.

It's not like I left the car

door unlocked or something.

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