Funny About Love

Here you are.

- Make it out to you?

- No, for my cousin Loretta.

Could you sign "with love"?

- Excuse me.

- This is terrific, isn't it?

He's very talented. And funny.

This is a notion

Duffy and I kicked around.

- It matured into this.

- You work with him?

No, I'm a paediatrician.

But I am his best friend.

We went to college together.

- I'd love to meet him.

- Let me have your number.

I'll see what I can do.

Being a cartoonist

is the hardest job in the world.

No, that title has to go

to Noriega's dermatologist.

Very funny!

Excuse me, excuse me.

Duffy, Duffy. That redhead

over there, she's a big fan.

- Really wants you to call.

- Spare me. I can't go through that.

- Don't you want to meet women?

- Not the way you do.

You use a spear gun and I use a net.

I don't fall for every woman

I make eye contact with.

- Do you mind if I use this?

- Be my guest.

Somebody was Wendy's friend.

Thank you.

- What is this?

- Your cappuccino.

You think this is cappuccino?

Taste it!

- Don't start.

- Mr Celebrity, you want another cup?

No. Could I meet

the person who made it?

- This way.

- Thank you. Excuse me.

A little emergency just came up.

I'll be right back. Don't go away.

- It's just a cup of coffee.

- It's not just a cup of coffee.

Excuse me. Hello!

Hello, folks. Excuse me.

Who is the Bulgarian bear wrestler

who made this?

- I'm the Bulgarian bear wrestler.

- This is delicious.

- Oh?

- Really wonderful coffee.

- He said he hates the coffee.

- This guy!

I said I hate the coughing!

It was driving me nuts.

You can breathe in stuff, you get colds.

The coffee was sensational.

Oh, thanks. I'm so flattered.

Why don't you have some more?

- No, no.

- I insist.

- A nice big cup.

- Oh, boy! Thank you.

Oh, my. Gosh. Thank you.

Oh, you can just...

- Nice aroma!

- Yeah.

- How do you do this?

- It's my little secret.

- Don't tell anyone.

- No, I won't.

You don't want the word to get out

about this stuff. Oh, no.

- Duff, they need you out there.

- I have to go to work now.

- What a shame. So do I.

- Could I talk with you later?

Finish your cappuccino

and then we'll see.

I would like to talk with you.

- I'll be busy.

- You mean working?

No, I'm taking my private jet

to St Moritz for the skiing.

Duffy, there are people waiting for you.

Bye.

Last one. Good night, everybody.

Good night. Take care.

- Are you cooking tomorrow night?

- Yes, I'll be there, 8.00. Good night.

Hey! Yo!

Hey! Hey, lady!

Wait a second. Hello, there!

Do you ski here often?

Yeah, once in a while.

I came to see if I could ski you home.

Hold on one second.

Don't go away. I want to apologise.

Please! I brought you a present.

Look. Here, taste this, will you?

Give this a little taste.

- Tell me what you think.

- Why are you dressed like this?

- I'm going to St Moritz.

- Oh. Yeah, right.

That's pretty good.

- How did you make this?

- Tell me your name.

- Tell me how you did this.

- It's easy.

You have an automatic coffee grinder.

You put it on a 1.8 setting.

You have to have a rich, heavy coffee.

You can't use some dumb

Costa Rican/Haitian blend.

The milk has to be room temperature,

otherwise the machine takes so long

heating up that you burn the coffee.

That's all. Coffee's important to me.

- This is really quite amazing.

- So you'll tell me your name?

- Meg. Meg Lloyd.

- Meg? Very short.

That's a very short name.

- This party was for you, right?

- Yeah.

- Do you like a fuss made over you?

- Sometimes. Don't you?

No, I'm from Maine.

We don't need much to keep us happy.

Lobster every now and then.

How did you know that I used

a Costa Rican/Haitian blend?

- What are you doing on Thursday?

- Thursday? Oh, shoot!

- I have a date.

- With who?

With you.

Next on Live With Regis And Kathie Lee,

controversial cartoonist Duffy Bergman!

What was the comic strip

that Mr Hatcher wouldn't run?

The president of the NRA with

a sign:
"Guns don't kill children.

"Children kill children."

That was satire.

A hunter with a smoking gun

between his legs is satire?

We feel we were simply

exercising good taste.

Exercising good taste?

What is that? Is that Alistair Cooke

on a treadmill machine?

Is Jesse Helms in good taste?

Are legal assault guns

used by drug lords in good taste?

Polluted fish in the Great Lakes

taste good?

The only thing I know

that is 100% good taste

is Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Ice Cream

with crushed HEATH Bars.

That's good taste!

And they told me he was shy!

We'll be back.

- That was terrific.

- Honest?

- Yeah.

- Good.

Tomorrow I'm going to quit the strip

and finish my musical.

- Wait a second. You're quitting?

- Yeah.

- Did you think I went overboard?

- On the show? No, it was great.

- They told me to be animated.

- You didn't disappoint them.

- But...?

- But nothing.

I see that twinkle in your eye.

- What?

- Tell me.

- It's nothing.

- What?

I just don't get

what you're trying to do here.

It seems to me that your strip

is getting more popular, right?

- Yeah.

- You love doing it, right?

- I do.

- Here comes this guy Thatcher...

- Thanks.

- Hatcher.

Hatcher supports you 99% of the time.

- 95.

- He objects to just one storyline.

- Right?

- Yeah.

I don't get why you want

to throw this away, unless...

Unless...? Unless? Unless?

- Never mind.

- Unless what?

You're self-indulgent and childish!

Yes, I am.

You want to play house with me?

- Hi.

- Welcome to my house.

Thank you.

I made you a little something.

I thought we might get hungry.

Perfect! I got something for you, too.

- Wait right here.

- What?

- Don't look till I say when.

- OK, OK, OK. What?

Now look.

- It's wonderful.

- Really? You really like it?

Oh, it's... What is it?

Well, I call it

Flying Angel Coming to Cook for Me.

It's great.

This is a great place.

Have you always lived here alone?

- No, I was married for a while.

- Really? What happened?

That good, huh?

I was married for three years.

- What happened?

- It was all my fault.

I just couldn't get along with

the other woman he was seeing.

- That's funny.

- Thanks.

Sure, sure! That's all right.

You go on, Rudy, have a good time.

Don't you worry about me,

just 'cause I'm blind and deaf...

- Sh, sh.

- Don't worry about me.

- I'll make out all right.

- It's OK.

Of course. It's perfect.

- Is it my birthday?

- Every day is your birthday.

Oh, look!

Oh, it's great!

Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry I'm late.

The plane was circling for 45 minutes.

- I know. I called the airport.

- Forgive me.

I know how important this is to you.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

It's OK. Don't worry.

We'll do it next month.

Do you know how cute you look

with your hair wet like that?

- Everything was perfect.

- Yep.

Your eggs were right,

temperature was just right.

I have an idea.

It just hit me.

- Why don't we do it anyway?

- The doctor said to try around noon.

- It's 4.15.

- So what?

Maybe your eggs are on California time.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes