Funny Face Page #4

All we want to say is

Lafayette, we are here

On a spree

Bonjour, Paris

- Bonjour.

- Bonjour.

Bonjour!

Well, how was that?

- Allo?

- (chatter)

Duval! I can't hear myself think,

and I'm trying to think in French.

- Maggie!

- Ssh! I'm calling again.

I shouldn't design

a collection for you.

I am jeopardising my position

with Harper's Bazaar and Vogue,

all for a girl who does not appear.

You're too important forjeopardy.

Relax. She will be here without faiI.

You said she would be here at ten

this morning. It is now past five.

- She's not at the hotel.

- Forget about her.

We've started the campaign.

There isn't time to get someone else.

Well, where is she?

Maybe at the top of the Eiffel Tower,

or the bottom of the Seine.

Maybe she's in a traffic jam.

How should I know?

Oh, c'est naturel.

(both) Bonjour, Paris

Bonjour, bonjour.

I'm throwing a shindig

to christen the Quality Woman.

Leave it to Dick to find

a delicatessen in Paris.

Imported all the way

from Napa Valley, California.

Melons from Florida.

About the guest of honour.

Where is she? How does she look?

If she's here, she looks invisible.

- She didn't show?

- She did not.

These gentlemen are waiting

to do her face, hair.

Duval needs measurements.

Where is she?

I wouldn't like to swear in court,

but I have an idea.

(Miss Prescott)

Do keep it to yourself!

I'll have her here

tomorrow morning at ten without faiI.

In the meantime, be my guests.

Strike.

(beeping)

Salaud! Degueulasse!

Je vous deteste!

Oh, cheri.

This must be the place.

(band tunes up)

Thank you.

Monsieur, Gigi would like to dance.

- Who's Gigi?

- I am Gigi.

Some other time. I just stopped by

to pick up the wife and kids.

All that is delicious

is not nutritious.

Avaricious, av...

I feel a hostile vibration.

That'll be me. Sorry.

Has he been that way long?

Three hours.

It is the uItimate in concentration.

Feels so good when you stop.

I have no doubt

that in less than ten years,

people everywhere will know that

only empathicalism can bring peace.

Peace through understanding

is the only real...

Well, hello. How are you?

Just fine, thank you.

How are you?

How long have you been in Paris?

This is Mr Avery.

These are my friends.

How do you do, boys?

Would you mind if I had

my own conversation with this lady?

- They don't understand English.

- You were talking English.

It's hard to explain,

but it's all part of empathicalism.

We don't have to communicate

with words.

They understand me through the way

I feel, and the tone of my voice.

- Sort of like a dog.

- Obviously, you don't understand.

Who's buying the wine?

- I am.

- I understand more than you think.

- If you're saying that the wine...

- Let me show you something.

Gentlemen, may I tell you

that you look like a mess of worms?

And that you not only look like,

but you are, a mess of worms.

I'll bet you've been here

all these years

because if you left,

you'd be picked up for vagrancy.

- Bravo.

- Your defence rests.

This isn't funny.

You don't belong here.

Neither do you,

which brings us to why I'm here.

Monsieur, you dance with Mimi?

No, thanks, I'm busy.

Didn't Gigi tell you?

That's very rude,

refusing to dance with Mimi.

Where I come from,

the man asks the girl to dance.

You must come from the Stone Age.

We think freely here. If a girl wants

to dance with a man, she asks him.

We're not inhibited by

outmoded social conventions.

I can see that.

Do you ask men to dance with you?

Isn't it time you realised

that dancing is nothing more than

a form of expression or release?

There's no need to be formal

or cute about it.

As a matter of fact, I rather feel

like expressing myself now.

And I could certainly use a release.

(discordant dramatic music)

(slow, moody jazz)

(fastjazz)

- Bonsoir. Vous etiez formidable.

- Merci.

You certainly made friends

and influenced people.

They're empathicalists.

You talk a lot about empathy.

Ever do anything about it yourself?

I don't know what you mean.

- Why not throw some empathy my way?

- I still don't know what you mean.

How do you think I feel

when you don't show up?

I'm responsible for you.

An empathicalist should feel me

asking for unemployment insurance.

Show up where?

They've been waiting for you

at Duval's all day.

I had no idea. Nobody toId me.

We've been calling you

on the telephone for hours.

I've been at the cafe all day.

I'm terribly sorry.

I don't want to sound like

the personnel department,

but you ought to get to bed early.

The camera picks up everything.

I don't want to spend my life

retouching your pictures.

When we're done, you can spend

all your time making small talk.

Small talk? I suppose you think

the neckline of a dress

makes for worId-shaking conversation?

Anything you don't understand,

you call small talk.

- What do you think of Flostre?

- Don't change the subject.

- It's the same subject.

- I haven't met Flostre.

You haven't? By now

I thought you two'd be buddies.

You don't find Flostre in cafes,

except on special occasions.

Not everyone interested in

empathicalism meets him,

any more than every American

meets the President.

An invitation to Flostre's home

is a great honour,

and as hard to get

as an invitation to...

The White House.

I don't think jokes about Flostre

are funny.

No more jokes. But let's be friendly.

We have to work together.

You don't have to be friendly

to work together. Acquainted will do.

Am I supposed to

go over to Duval's now?

I said you'd be there at 10:30am.

- I'll be there.

- Promise?

I said I'd be there, and I will.

- AIright.

- This is where I get off.

Wait a minute. Don't go away mad.

Can't we walk and get friendly,

or better acquainted, or something?

No, thanks. I've got to go to bed.

I don't want you spending

your life retouching my pictures.

You are mad, aren't you?

No, I'm not mad, I...

I'm hurt, and disappointed, and...

..and mad.

(clattering)

I didn't mean to

start any scene to

Make you sigh, or to die

It's most immoral

for us to quarrel

Why can't we both agree?

Don't you know Ben Franklin

wrote about this thing at length?

On the proposition that

in union there is strength

Why raise a storm up

if we'll just warm up?

We'll be much stronger

and live much longer

Let's kiss and make up

Come on, let's wake up

For I need you, and you need me

Let's kiss and make up

No use to break up

When we can work in harmony

I'll give you your way

You'll give me my way

And out the doorway

Our cares will fly away

If we'd be happy

The way is clear

Let's kiss and make up

No use to break up

We need each other, dear

(beeping)

(mooing)

(Spanish music)

(chatter)

What are they doing?

They've been hours.

There was a lot to be done.

- They don't look happy.

- They don't look unhappy.

I can't tell. Do they look pleased?

- They don't look displeased.

- (Duval) Everyone.

- The grand finale.

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