Funny Face Page #3

in the book shop?

Get her up here. Order books.

- A large order, so she can't refuse.

- $50 worth?

Yes, $50 worth if necessary.

$50 to get her up here. We'll have to

drug her to get her to Paris.

Er, Miss Prescott, please.

- Lettie, you'd better come out here.

- I've got the books she ordered.

Miss Prescott's secretary

will deal with you.

Oh, it's you. Well, come on in.

Come on.

The books are here.

Come in.

That'll be $52 and 75 cents,

and $1 .20 for the taxi.

$53.95.

Drop the books.

Come on, drop the books.

- On the floor?

- Yes, drop them.

Straighten up, shoulders back.

If you girls only knew

how important posture is.

I didn't come here

to enrol in a military school.

All I want is $53.95.

The Modigliani is $12.50,

and the Braque and Hieronymus Bosch

come to $22.75.

$7 for the postimpressionists

and $10.50 for The Egyptians -

Fourth to Seventh Dynasties

make it a total of $52.75,

and there's $1 .20 for the taxi.

- Talks incessantly.

- The body's good.

It'll be better

when we get through with it.

- Through with what?

- She might do.

Might do what?

The bones are good.

Suppose we leave my bones alone

and give me my $53.95?

The eyebrows up, a light powder.

I want a little rouge here.

She needs a marvellous mouth.

The hair is awful. It must come off.

Would you mind telling me

what all this is about?

We may as well get started. Babs,

get that dreadful thing off of her.

Now, wait a minute. Just a minute.

Don't! Stop!

This is my second and last encounter

with you lunatics.

You just keep your hands off me,

all of you.

I make a delivery and find myself

being pillaged and plundered.

Well, I'll have no more of it.

I don't want my hair cut.

I don't want my eyebrows up or down.

I want them where they are.

And I see no functional advantage

in a marvellous mouth.

I'm leaving now, and if anyone

makes a move to stop me

there'll be plenty of hair cut,

and it won't be mine.

Bring her back, girls, alive!

(women) Hurry up.

Hurry. Over here.

Hey,

didn't you see that light outside?

In desperation, one does not examine

one's avenue of escape.

Oh, it's you.

I'm sorry if I spoiled a print.

That's alright.

What's all the desperation about?

Those people.

They don't care about

anyone's feelings.

Pulling my clothes

and cutting my hair.

- (knock at door)

- (woman) Is that girl in there?

(whispers) Don't give me away.

Maybe you should give them

a chance...

There was no one here when I came in.

If you see her, hang on to her.

I'll do that.

I'm afraid it's all my fauIt.

I thought you'd make a good model.

This is your idea?

Yeah, I'm the one you sue.

Oh, how could I be a model?

I have no illusions about my looks.

I think my face is funny.

That's what Maggie said.

I hate to admit it,

but she's right.

What you call funny,

I call interesting.

It's too ridiculous

even to think about.

- I couldn't do it.

- Let me be the judge of that.

I wouldn't take you to Paris

if I didn't think you'd work out.

- Paris?

- Yeah. Look at it this way.

Modelling

may not be as bad as you think.

If it is, you'll be in Paris.

You can see your Professor Whosis.

- Flostre?

- Yeah.

You can talk to him

and go to his lectures.

That way it won't be a total loss.

A means to an end.

Or a means to a beginning,

according to how it works out.

Now, let's see.

There we are.

- Oh, no.

- What's the matter?

How can you possibly

make a model out of that?

You can't be serious.

When I'm done, you'll look like...

What do you call beautifuI?

A tree. You'll look like a tree.

Frankly, dear,

your modesty reveals to me

Self-appraisal often makes us sad

And if I add, your funny face

appeals to me

Please don't think

I've suddenly gone mad

You have all the qualities

of Peter Pan

I'd go far before I'd find

a sweeter pan

I love your funny face

Your sunny, funny face

For you're a cutie

With more than beauty

You've got a lot of

personality for me

You fill the air with smiles

For miles and miles and miles

Though you're no Mona Lisa

For worIds I'd not replace

Your sunny, funny face

I love your funny face

Your sunny, funny face

You're not exotic

But so hypnotic

You're much too much

If you can cook the way you look

I'd swim the ocean wide

Just to have you by my side

Though you're no Queen of Sheba

For worIds I'd not replace

Your sunny

funny

face

(excited chatter)

Ladies, feast your eyes

on our Quality Woman.

Marvellous!

I'm sorry about the trouble.

I didn't realise.

My dear, let me do the apologising.

I behaved abominably.

She's agreed to go to Paris.

She can hardly wait.

Marvellous!

This is not a loss of integrity.

It is a means to an end, and...

There's no time for talking.

Tell us on the plane.

AIright, girls, we've got to

get cracking. To work and to Paris.

- Would you like a tour of Paris?

- No, we're not tourists.

Do we look like people

who gape all day?

They can't understand anyone

coming here to work.

We should all go straight to

our hotels and get some rest.

- I am exhausted.

- I know how you feel.

I'm so tired it's an effort for me

to say I'm tired.

(Miss Prescott) Goodbye.

I'll be in touch.

I want to step out

Down the Champs Elysees

From the Arch of Triumph

To the Petit Palais

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris

I want to wander

Through the Saint-Honore

Do some window-shopping

In the Rue de la Paix

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris

I want to see the den

of thinking men

Like Jean-PauI Sartre

I must philosophise

with all the guys

Around Montmartre and Montparnasse

(all) I'm strictly tourist

But I couldn't care less

When they parlez-vous me

Then I gotta confess

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris

Light up the Louvre museum

Jazz up the Latin quarter

To show the richest

and the poorest

Here it comes

The great American tourist

This has got to be illegal

What I feel

Tres gai, tres chic,

tres magnifique

C'est moi, c'est vous,

c'est grand, c'est tutu

It's too good to be true

All the things we can do

You do things to my point of view

We can show you the north

Or we can show you the south

Then we can show you the west

Come on and show me the best

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris

- (crowd) Bonjour!

- Bonjour!

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris

(crowd) Bonjour!

Living is easy

The living is high

All good Americans

Should come here to die

Bonjour!

Is it real?

Am I here?

Am I here?

Is it real?

There's something missing

(both)

There's something missing, I know

(all) There's something missing

Something missing, I know

There's still one place

I've got to go

(gasps)

- Oh!

- Oh, no!

I thought that you were tired

I heard you say that you

You said

that you were so exhausted

You said you needed sleep

You toId me that you had to rest

You said you ought to rest

Is this what you call rest?

This fussing and fretting

is getting my goat

Let's all let our hair down

We're in the same boat

(all) We're strictly tourists

You can titter and jeer

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