Funny Games U.S. Page #3

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- Hi, Paul. You cold?

- Oh, no, I have... I have eczema.

- Oh.

You should go swimming,

the water works wonders for that here.

Thank you, that's good advice.

- Hello, pleased to meet you.

- Hello.

How's George?

Fine, thanks.

Where is he?

He pulled a muscle putting up the mast,

so he's lying down, resting.

So sorry to hear that. That's what

happens when you try to do too much.

Robert, on the other hand,

would never dream of launching a boat.

Right, Robert?

Tell your hubby to get better,

we're grilling every night.

I'll tell him.

I mean it, as soon as he's better,

swing by. Robert's son is here.

He brought his little girlfriend.

He'd like her for sure.

All right. Well, listen,

it's great to see you, darling.

Listen, if the weather stays like this,

you'll probably have to take the car.

- It's supposed to be windy.

- For tomorrow...

Where's your dock?

- Excuse me?

Your dock?

Oh, it's just around the peninsula,

but on the other side.

The old cottage, with the red dock?

Right.

It's very beautiful.

Well, thank you, we enjoy it.

Well, anyway, it's good to see you.

All right, goodbye.

So you're here all week?

Well, this week for sure.

Maybe we'll come by tonight.

Oh, do, you know we love seeing you.

All right.

We'll see how George is doing.

Yeah, see how he is.

Bye-bye.

- Bye.

- Bye.

They'll be here in two hours...

...and then this little charade of yours

will be over.

Sorry, but that's not exactly true.

Didn't you ask your friends to call

and confirm...

...or did I misunderstand something?

They'll come,

even if they can't reach us.

Is lying allowed?

Just a second.

Wait, let me move this out of the way.

Why don't you have a landline?

Don't you find it convenient?

Or is it

that you aren't out here that much?

Please, have a seat.

You know you can be completely

open with us. You'd feel better.

We're being completely open with you.

Right there.

You should put a pillow under him.

You know, if you'd let Peter

help you, it would hurt less.

I'm happy to help, really,

I just don't want to impose.

Careful with...

That's a good idea, put it up.

That should be more comfortable.

So there we are.

- You sure you don't wanna put a pillow...?

- Could you please stop this?

You're asking?

What?

You said, "Please. "

I'm very happy about this.

It's easier when things are polite.

I'd like to apologize for before.

But you have to admit, George,

the slap in the face?

It really wasn't

the most appropriate reaction.

I'm Paul.

This is Peter.

Come here, Tom. Where are

your manners? Shake the man's hand.

Here, take this for the pain.

What's this now?

What, are we sh*t to you?

What, didn't we just agree that...?

Jesus Christ!

It's okay. It's okay.

Stop it now,

otherwise your mother will get hurt.

Stop it! Do you understand?

Do you understand?!

Calm down.

Calm down.

So much stress for politeness' sake.

I mean, I was just trying to be friendly.

Improve relations.

I thought we could keep this civilized.

Why are you doing this?

Tubby, why are we doing this?

Go on, say it.

I don't know.

The captain would like to know why.

Well?

It's difficult to talk about it.

Don't be shy.

You know exactly how hard

this is for me.

Jesus, what a drama.

His father divorced his mother when

he was this big, for another woman...

It's not true! He's lying.

My mother got a divorce because...

Because she wanted her

little teddy bear all to herself.

Which is why he's gay,

and he's a criminal, got it?

You're an a**hole.

The truth is...

...he's white trash. He comes

from a filthy, deprived family.

Five siblings, all of them on drugs.

His father is an alcoholic.

His mother, well, I mean,

you can imagine.

Truth is...

...he's f***ing her.

It's sad, but it's true.

Come on. Calm down now, Tubby.

Stop it.

You're disgusting.

Can't you at least watch your language

in front of my son?

Oh, I'm...

I'm sorry.

Of course.

What would you like to hear?

What would make you happy?

None of what I said is true,

you know that as well as I do.

You think he's white trash?

Come on, he's a spoiled little brat.

He's jaded and disgusted

by the emptiness of existence.

It's hard.

Really.

He liked that. Look, now he's smiling.

Okay?

You happy now,

or you want another version?

I'm hungry.

Let's see what there is.

Truth is...

...he's a drug addict.

That's where he's going to right now.

That's why he's so nervous.

I'm also a drug addict.

We rob rich families in their charming

vacation homes to support our habit.

- Mm-hm.

Stop this bullshit.

- I get it. Isn't that enough?

That's good.

Hey, Tubby, he's got it.

He gets it.

That's awesome, really.

Really. Listen...

Peter, come here.

Listen, we're gonna

make a bet now, okay?

Come on, hurry up.

- Sit down.

It's dark in here.

Come on, don't fall asleep.

Okay, we bet... What time is it?

Eight-forty.

That in, let's say, 12 hours...

...all three of you...

...are gonna be kaput.

Okay?

What?

You bet

that you'll be alive tomorrow at 9:00...

...and we bet

that you'll be dead, okay?

They don't wanna bet.

Well, it's not an option.

There has to be a bet.

I mean, what do you think?

You think they stand a chance?

You're on their side, aren't you?

Who are you betting on, hm?

But, wait, what kind of bet is this?

If they're dead...

...they can't live up to their side,

and if they win, they can't live, either.

Yes, they'll lose either way,

that's what I'm saying.

Stop this nonsense.

Are you trying to scare us?

Haven't you done enough already?

What do you want? You want money?

Well, take it. I'll tell you what.

Take what you want, just get out.

Okay?

Don't you think Fred and Eve are going

to come over and see what's happening?

And then they're gonna give us

a thorough spanking, right?

Okay.

So the bet is on.

Like they say on TV:

Let's make a deal.

So, what do you want to do now?

Would you be so kind as to go

and make us something to eat?

Tubby...

...I'm worried about you.

Can you control yourself?

You just finished stuffing your face

with that meat.

It's disgusting.

What are these people going to think?

I haven't had anything since noon.

Stop calling me "Tubby" all the time.

- Okay, Tom.

- Okay, Jerry.

Okay, well,

I think you should watch your figure.

Do you think that that's attractive?

Look at the captain's wife.

You think she thinks you're hot?

- With these jelly rolls?

- Stop it.

- Do you like having that?

- Stop it.

Look at her, she's not that old.

Pardon me, ma'am. You would be

completely acceptable to her...

...if it wasn't for that body.

You should follow her lead.

Now, that is a well-toned body.

There's not an extra calorie on it.

I'm not so sure.

What?

Did you hear that?

Tubby, that's really rude.

Are we gonna take that, ma'am?

- Oh, no.

- Hey.

Indian. You.

What's your name anyway?

George.

George? Just like Daddy.

That's really sweet.

Come here, Georgie.

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