Furlough Page #2

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Okay, let's go.

[knock on door]

This way.

Alright. Go.

Stop here.

Here.

[alarm buzzing]

Alright.

[instrumental music]

Alrighty. No, I got it.

Here I come.

I'm okay, I can get out.

- I... I can get that.

- Wait, wait, wait.

- Wait a minute!

- Alright.

Aw, man. It's beautiful.

- Thank you!

- Alright.

[chuckles]

Hey! Hi, boy!

That lady has handcuffs!

Aw, don't be afraid,

don't be worried

there's nothing

to be worried about.

Come on.

No funny business.

Not from me.

Okay.

- Whoa! No, no.

- Okay.

What's... what's

going on here?

I... I don't, I really don't

want any trouble on my bus.

Well, there's not

gonna be any.

- Um..

- Here you go.

I see handcuffs, leg

shackles, prison uniforms..

Kinda

smells like trouble to me.

Yeah,

I'm a corrections officer

and she's in my custody.

Look, uh, Nicole Stevens

I'm the captain

of this ship, okay?

I'm the captain.

That means my only

priority is the safety

of my passengers

and of myself.

Okay, captain, but there's

nothing to be afraid of.

I'm not afraid of nothin', I just don't

like the looks of your passenger.

Oh, come on. Don't judge a

book by its cover, mister.

- What?

- I'm not, it's not...

Okay, that's it.

You're not boarding!

Oh, God.

[sighs]

Well, it's the law.

You have to let us board.

The law? On this ship

I'm the law.

We are on official New

York State business, sir.

We're on a deathbed

visit here.

- Time is of the essence.

- Who's dying?

- My mother.

- Oh, your mother?

Where does she live,

'cause I could go

pick her up

and bring her back to you.

Listen, this is no time

for jokes

this is serious business.

I have no desire

to cause trouble.

I... I... I just

wanna go see my mother.

Look, mister,

you got a mother, right?

Yes, I have a mother.

So I got a mother too.

She's asked to see me.

You gonna stop me

from seeing her?

Please, mister, please,

let me on your bus.

[sighs]

Alright, listen. You stay

on your best behavior.

You keep her locked up

the entire time...

I mean that's part

of the thing.

- Get on the bus.

- Okay.

Thank you so much.

That was so good of you.

- So, so good of you.

- Get on the bus.

- Very thoughtful.

- You know, okay. Alright.

I don't think

I can get on that step.

Like, maybe push..

That's it, Got..

Jesus Christ.

Next time I'll do

the talking, okay?

- Oh, you got it.

- But thanks.

- You did a good job.

- Yeah, okay.

Why do we have

to take this shitty bus?

'Cause the limousine

wasn't available.

Where do you wanna sit,

huh?

- Where, here?

- Yeah.

- This one's good.

- Alright.

- We'll take this one, alright?

- Yeah, that's fine.

[engine sputtering]

[chuckles]

Hot damn!

We're gonna have

a good time.

[instrumental music]

Welcome aboard,

passengers.

A few, uh,

quick announcements

and safety procedures.

This is a

no smoking ride.

Turn your

cell phones off.

Please don't move around

the cabin.

Don't bother me,

I'm the driver.

You don't want me

to be distracted.

Just general manners are

appreciated. Thank you.

That's crazy.

[cell phone ringing]

No phone calls

on the bus, ma'am.

I'll answer it.

- Hello, Nicole?

- Hi, I'm working.

- You okay?

- Honey.

Where are the

Multi-Grain Waffles?

- The frozen ones?

- Yeah.

Yeah. In the freezer,

where else, mom?

No, they're not

in the freezer

I'm looking

I... I don't see them.

You sure, they're

in the yellow box

remember, they switched

the box colors?

- It's yellow now.

- I remember that.

I remember that,

they're not in here.

No. No, no, no. There were

some right when I left.

Well, they're not

in here now, Nicole.

Now, I... I need them

to keep regular.

Well, what about

the bran cereal.

You can try that.

I don't like bran cereal,

where are the waffles!

Well, why don't you have Brandy

go and pick you up some then?

Brandy is not here.

Listen,

I had a whole plan.

I was gonna get

the waffles

I was gonna make 'em

I was gonna put syrup on 'em

and some butter, and just

have a pleasant day.

Okay, I understand

but I'm working here,

I gotta go, moms.

Love you, okay? Bye.

Who's paying

for this trip?

My understanding is that

the inmate pays for it.

So, you.

[chuckles]

That's a great rule

but I don't know

how I'm gonna do that

at 22 cents an hour.

Well, your mom

must really wanna see you.

[instrumental music]

[cell phone ringing]

Hi, Brandy.

Who the hell do you think

you are running off

and dumping moms in my lap

without even

saying a word!

Okay, well,

I had an emergency

come up at work,

so I didn't really

have a choice.

And you didn't even

have the courtesy

to pick up the telephone

and give me

a goddamn call?

I didn't wanna

wake you up.

When are you coming back?

- Sunday night.

- Sunday night?

Yeah.

So who's gonna take her

to her volunteer thing

at the library?

I guess you will

just have to take her.

You know what, Nicole?

Don't you dare ever

try to pull a stunt on me

like this again!

You hear me?

- Uh, okay.

- Ever.

Bye, Brandy.

Who's Brandy?

She is my sister.

- You got sisters?

- No, I'm an only child.

You're lucky.

[scoffs]

I wish I had a sister.

You kidding me?

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

Excuse me.

Ugh! Jesus.

- I gotta go.

- Yeah, sure.

No, no, no, no.

I gotta go.

Like, number one

or number two?

I'm just asking.

How urgent is it?

I gotta go.

I can't wait.

Why didn't you go

before we left?

I did, they served

mystery meat for breakfast

and it comes out

when it wants to.

Can I please just..

...permission

to go to the bathroom?

- Yeah. Okay.

- Please?

Well, I gotta take you.

So. Come on.

Jesus. Okay.

Alright, here I come.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much, you're

not gonna regret this.

Excuse me! Thank you so much.

Sorry. Comin' through.

- Okay. You gotta undo the cuffs.

- What?

I gotta get

the jumpsuit down.

- Just, just undo one of 'em.

- No. He'll kick us off.

- I am prairie doggin' it.

- You're what-ing it?

You know when a prairie dog

sticks his head out of a hole?

Oh, God! Alright, yep.

Alright. Thank you.

Alright. Wa.. Wha... wha..

Alright, where're we goin'?

We're going back to the seat.

Thank you. I'm so sorry.

Alright, yes, ma'am.

Right away, ma'am.

- Captain, we have a situation.

- What? What is it?

My prisoner is having an emergency

of the number two variety

she needs

to relieve herself.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah, number two.

Is there a way

that I can release her

restraints so that she can

get her jumpsuit down?

- Just one of 'em.

- No way you're unlocking her.

- No way.

- Your choice.

In a minute you're gonna

have a real stinky mess

on your hands, okay?

So, ball's in your court.

- Please, please, please. Please..

- She's gotta go.

Uh..

Attention passengers, uh, we are

gonna have to make a very quick

unscheduled rest stop.

You're gonna have exactly ten

minutes to do your business

and if you don't

make it, uh, tough sh*t.

- Thank you, thank you, sir.

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