Galaxy Quest Page #18

SARRIS:

What?

Suddenly a LIFELESS BODY CRASHES against the windshield like a

bug. It's Sarris' jettisoned Guard. Sarris' eyes light.

SARRIS:

Find them.

LATHE:

But sir, my MEN. The core implosion is not reversible...

SARRIS:

Find them.

117 INT. MANUFACTURING CAVERN (BOWELS)

Jason and Gwen make their way along a narrow catwalk above the

manufacturing floor. A row of ROBOT ARMS behind them move

erratically.

JASON:

We've cleared the robot arms. Now what?

118 INT. BRANDON'S ROOM118

Brandon now has his whole CREW on separate windows of his

computer screen, including fan KATELYN, wearing a "Tawny Madison"

outfit.

KATELYN:

Okay, Brandon, as I calculate it the shortest route is down the

ladder near the quark accelerators.

OTHER NERDS:

I concur. She's right. Very good.

BRANDON:

High five, Katelyn.

He and the others hi-five, slapping their computer screens.

119 INT. MANUFACTURING CAVERN (BOWELS)119

Jason and Gwen make their way down the ladder, and across a

narrow beam over a LAVA POOL at a staggering height.

JASON:

Brandon.. Just in case I die, there's something I have to know...

BRANDON:

Yes Commander?

JASON:

What does the Omega 13 do?

BRANDON:

Well, that's the big question, isn't it?

JASON:

What do you mean?

BRANDON:

It's been the subject of an extremely heated debate on the

internet for years. Many believe that is a matter collapser, a

bomb capable of destroying all matter in the universe in a chain

reaction lasting 13 seconds.

JASON:

But you don't?

BRANDON:

No, I am of the firm belief that in reality it is not a matter

killer, but a matter REARRANGER, converting all molecules to the

exact state they existed thirteen seconds previous to activation

thus effecting a thirteen second time jump to the past.

JASON:

How did you come to that conclusion?

BRANDON:

My cousin's boyfriend's sister went out with the screenwriter.

His favorite movie is the Omegaman. He's seen it 13 times...

KYLE:

As you know I strenuously disagree with this theory, Brandon. if

all molecules were rearranged, then everyone would be back in

time 13 seconds rendering the device useless.

Suddenly a BLAST erupts next to Jason's head. He and Gwen turn

to see SARRIS' MEN shooting at them from across the room at the

entrance to the cavern.

JASON:

Okay guys... Guys?

But the gang is still caught up in the debate.

KATELYN:

No because the brain of the person who triggers the Omega 13 is

not affected, so THAT person still has his memory after the time

jump. And everything is as it was, a chance to redeem a single

mistake or misstep.

BRANDON:

Thank you, Katelyn. Excellent.

KATELYN:

(flattered, shy)

You're welcome, Brandon.

Jason and Gwen RUN as Sarris men continue to snoot at them.

JASON:

BRANDON!TIME TO GO!

BRANDON:

Yes Commander... All right, you're almost there. Just go through

the chompers and over the pit.

GWEN:

"The chompers?"

They turn to see... THE CHOMPERS An unavoidable gauntlet of

HISSING HYDRAULIC SMASHING METAL HAMMERS AND BLADES jutting out

from the sides, top, bottom and diagonally...

GWEN:

Oh, f*** THAT.

More GUNFIRE from Sarris' men. Another BLAST melts a pole next to

them. Jason pulls his magneto-pistol and fires back at them.

Sarris' men take cover.

JASON:

Brandon, HOW?

120INT. BRANDON'S ROOM120

Brandon cradles a telephone on his shoulder.

BRANDON:

Hollister, do you have the sequence yet?

121INT. HOLLISTER'S ROOM121

Another one of Brandon's pals, HOLLISTER, watches a tape of the

show, fast viewing one sequence backwards and forwards over and

over; ON THE TV, we see the cheap painted cardboard version of

the crushers. A cheesy fish headed ALIEN MONSTER chases Jason

through the crusher but is toppled by one of the crushers and

falls into the fake looking lava pit. Hollister times the pattern

of the crushers with a stopwatch.

HOLLISTER:

Okay, the pattern is two.. two... four... two... three...

eight... two...

BRANDON:

You're sure they repeat like that? It's sort of extremely

important.

Cut from the cardboard props to the REAL THING.

122 THE MOMMOTH CRUSHERS

Gwen and Jason watch as they SMASH and GRIND back and fourth...

GWEN:

What IS that thing? It serves no useful purpose to have a bunch

of CHOPPY CRUSHY things in the middle of a CATWALK!?.'

JASON:

Gwen...

GWEN:

We shouldn't have to DO this! It makes NO LOGICAL SENSE! Why is

it HERE?

JASON:

Because it was on the show!

GWEN:

Well forget it! I'm not going. This episode was badly written!

BRANDON:

Commander, you and Lt. Madison will have to go through the

crushers one at a time in three second intervals. Tell me when

the first crusher hits the bottom...

JASON:

Okay, now. But-

BRANDON:

Wait two seconds then go.

Another BLAST from Sarris' men weakens the catwalk...

JASON:

No, wait, are you-

BRANDON:

Lt. Madison, GO.

JASON:

Sh*t! Go!

BRANDON:

GO Commander.

Jason and Gwen run through the CHOMPERS. It is a series of CLOSE

ESCAPES, timed just a FRACTION late, so at one point Gwen must

use all her strength to pull a SLEEVE caught In the works before

a second hammer comes down where her body was a moment before

Jason DIVES through a quickly diminishing hole, his MAGNETO-

PISTOL falling behind him, quckly SMASHED to oblivion by a

closing slab.

BRANDON:

Stop.

Jason stops, catching Gwen's leg just as... A HAMMER SMASHES

right In front of her, barely missing her head.

BRANDON:

Go.

They're off again.

BRANDON:

Up.

JASON:

What? Up?

BRANDON:

Berithium lava coming through. Use the handholds above you.

Here comes the lava down a chute ahead of them. Jason pulls Gwen

up just as the lava comes through, sizzling the tips of her

hanging hair.

GWEN:

Whoever wrote this episode should DIE.

Thje lava passes, and they drop and continue on through the

doorway as magneto blasts erupt around them...

123DARKNESS123

Jason and Gwen run through pitch blackness.

JASON (0.S.)

What the hell?... Brandon, Where are we?

BRANDON (0.5.)

I don't know. This part of the ship is completely undocumented.

GWEN (O.S.)

Great... Just great.'

124INT. DIGITAL CONVEYER ROOM124

Fred and Guy are now in the digital Conveyor room. Very quiet

compared to the mayhem in the bowels of the ship... Guy looks

down at the panel with great anticipation, then up at Fred with a

nervous smile. Fred gingerly takes hold of the digital conveyor

controls.

GUY:

This should be Interesting...

ON THE digital CONVEYOR DISPLAY: We see crosshairs target an

object... The vague outline is that of a man, but blocky,

misshapen. We recognize it as THE ROCK MONSTER. Fred SMILES.

125 SHIP ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS ROOM

DOZENS OF SARRIS' MEN continue to surround the oxygen valve when

suddenly THE ROCK MONSTER materializes right in the middle of the

room behind them. They turn, looking up at it Sarris' stunned

men CLICKS his transmitter button... The monster DESCENDS in an

instant...

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