Game Night Page #2

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- It's...

No. I think you're

supposed to kiss it, right?

Welcome.

Do you guys have a bathroom?

There's one just down

the hall. You need it?

Okay, is it on

the right or the left?

I don't wanna go

in the wrong room.

The one with the toilet.

- Can't miss it.

- Okay.

- Oh, boy.

- Dude!

- Oh. Wow.

- Right?

Where'd you find her?

A TED Talk?

No, at Chipotle.

Let me ask you

something, Ryan.

Aren't you sick of losing

game night every week

because of the dates

you bring?

They're not always that bad.

Heather, seriously.

How many photos of you with

the dog filter do you need?

"Dennis" isn't a word.

Yeah, it is.

It's my daddy's name, so...

These are the elite,

the very best, the...

Oh, oh. White people!

- What?

- Oh, Jesus.

Okay, unlike you psychos,

I don't give a sh*t

about winning game night.

I don't need that validation.

But you do need the validation

of dating Instagram models?

Absolutely.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry

I'm not like you, Michelle.

We didn't all meet

our soulmate

when we were 10 years old.

Fourteen.

- Oh, sorry.

- Fourteen.

And we didn't get married

until we were 19.

- See, that's gross.

- You know what, Ryan?

I hope one day you get to meet

a lovely, young lady.

So you can love her as much as I

love my sweet baby right here.

Yes, find her.

Look how cute this...

- Hey, look at this.

- So much love.

Let's look at him

when we do it.

- Hey, everybody.

- Find the love!

Grab your drinks.

Let's go play, come on.

Dude, do you know

what rich people

are doing on their game

nights these days?

What's that?

- Fight clubs.

- What?

I just read about 'em.

They pay poor people

to fight each other,

and then they bet

on the winner.

- No, that's not a real thing.

- Yes, it is!

If you can have anything

you want in this world,

you have to raise the stakes

or life gets boring.

The Kennedys used to have

fight clubs at their compound.

Honey, listen, you gotta

stop reading BuzzFeed

every second of the damn day.

How about some Charades?

Should we start with Charades?

- Let's go!

- Yeah!

It's been a while, huh?

Do you wanna wait for Brooks?

I don't think we need to.

No, he's late.

Wait, hold up.

- Brooks is in town?

- Yeah.

I thought he was working

in Europe.

He was, yeah. He's apparently

back for some business.

Haven't seen him yet.

- But we can get started.

- Yeah!

Who wants to start?

Who are you guys

talking about?

Max's brother. He's this super

successful venture capitalist.

Yeah, he was

the first to invest

in Panera Bread, you know?

The Fuji Apple Salad

was his idea.

- A lot of investors.

- Yeah.

He's like the Mark Wahlberg

to Max's Donnie.

Well...

Which is a huge compliment

because Donnie was f***ing great

in The Sixth Sense, wasn't he?

He was.

Was he in The Sixth Sense?

He sure is, yeah.

You know who is not

in The Sixth Sense?

Mark Wahlberg.

Mark would never take

a role that small.

Is that right, Madison?

Man, I haven't seen him

since the wedding.

- Remember that speech he gave?

- Yes.

And then he paid for that

whole fireworks display!

- Oh, my gosh! The fireworks!

- Little over the top.

Let's get started.

I'm gonna start us off.

Yes, let's start!

We gotta pick teams first.

- Movie?

- It's a movie. Okay.

Dude, we have no teams.

- You just give up?

- Better not be Brooks.

You didn't tell him

to park up the street?

I did, yeah,

like, three times.

Hey!

He got a Stingray, huh?

Turn off your car!

What's that?

Hello, again.

Mmm...

Still wearing the uniform.

Hey, bud,

I'm sorry I'm late.

I hope you didn't start

game night without me.

Did you not get my texts?

What text?

Oh, hello, Officer.

Why's that guy staring at us?

Gary, I want you

to meet my brother, Brooks.

We're having a little family

three-man game night tonight.

Wait, what do you mean

three-man?

You said that Michelle

and Ryan and Kevin were...

No, no, no.

Just gonna be us three.

I can see 'em in the doorway.

There's a whole mess

of people. Hey, guys!

- There they are.

- Hey!

These guys are leaving.

Take off, guys.

We had a little bit

of a mix-up with the...

- God damn it!

- What?

We didn't want him to know

we were having a game night.

He used to come, and we don't

like him anymore, so...

Oh.

You know,

I think he knows now.

He sure does.

Maxi Pad,

come on, bring it in.

I haven't

seen you in a year!

Hey, you smell good.

What is that?

Is that Selsun Blue?

Head and Shoulders?

Why do you assume

it's a dandruff shampoo?

Well, I mean,

you've always been

a little bit of a snowstorm.

Hey, would you

hold that for a second?

- Yup.

- Hey, guys!

- You look good, stranger.

- Wanna drink?

It's been forever.

I know, and that's my fault.

I'm so sorry.

Sweet ride, Brooks.

Oh, you like that? I just

got her a couple weeks ago.

What is that? A Corvette?

It's a 1976 rally red

Stingray coupe.

It was my dream car as a kid.

And that's what gave me

the idea to get it.

You know what?

I love your house.

Are you being sarcastic?

No, I mean, I love your house.

It reminds me

of Mom and Dad's.

Makes me think

of simpler times.

Simpler?

So how long

are you in town for?

You know, I'm not sure.

It depends on how many clients

the firm's gonna be having me

schmooze while I'm here.

But hopefully for a while.

I don't get to see you guys,

and I...

God, I really miss you, man.

I really do.

Oh.

Miss you, too, Brooks.

And go!

Shock-rocker.

Dated Rose McGowan.

Oh! Ah, Marilyn Manson.

Yep. You got it.

- Quick story.

- There's no pausing.

You remember

the urban myth where

Marilyn Manson

had the ribs taken out,

so he could go down

on himself?

Yeah.

You don't mind me telling

the story, do you, Max?

You're in the middle of a...

You were 14 years old.

It's an adorable story.

I forbid it.

I'm a little curious.

Did you blow yourself?

You know the bungee cords

on roof racks?

- Yeah.

- Max took one of those bungee cords

and he put it around his neck.

Here he goes.

And then he wrapped it

behind his legs,

so he could squish his face

down into his crotch.

But the problem was

that it got stuck!

He couldn't unhook it.

And about an hour later,

Mom comes home,

and she finds him there.

Sh*t!

Her little pretzel boy

on his bedroom floor naked.

Little pretzel boy?

Great story.

Are we back on now?

So?

So what?

Did you suck it?

Let's go. Come on. Brooks.

Back to it. Come on.

Play the game.

Poor man's Johnny Depp,

starred in Jericho.

Skeet Ulrich.

UN Secretary General,

'92 to '96.

Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

This guy. He hated kids

in Jurassic Park.

Sam Neill.

Dubstep DJ,

looks like Corey Feldman.

- Skrillex.

- Yep.

Rappers love

this Cubist painter.

Picasso!

Big cat shot

by a**hole dentist.

- Cecil the lion!

- Time!

- How many?

- Seven!

Seven!

You're up, pretzel boy.

Whoo! Go, Max!

- Come on, Max.

- All right. Here we go.

And kick it, go!

Oh, this is easy!

Annie, the famous actor

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