Game Night Page #3

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that we met

at the airport

about eight years ago.

Who?

Only actor we've ever met

at an airport who's famous.

Bobby Flay?

Not an actor.

This fellow was in front of us

at the Sbarro.

We were wondering why he wasn't

in the first-class lounge.

Oh, yes, yes.

Who was that?

God damn it!

Max, there's a whole room of

people to help you out here.

- Use us.

- Good point.

He was the Incredible Hulk.

Eric Bana.

- Other one.

- Uh, Mark Ruffalo.

- Other one.

- Lou Ferrigno.

Holy sh*t! Primal Fear.

Richard Gere never played

the Incredible Hulk.

- Time.

- Motherfucking Ed Norton!

Oh!

Primal Fear!

Oh, my God!

He was the Hulk.

- The Hulk.

- I forgot that.

Max. Zero points.

I'd say he blew it,

but he won't tell us, will he?

Sh*t! Did you?

I can't believe

I didn't get Bob Barker.

Hey, guys!

What do you say we do this

at my house next week?

- House? What house?

- Ooh. Really?

Since I don't know

how long

I'm gonna be here,

I rented a place.

It's only a couple miles away.

You know,

it's up on Broadmoor.

Ooh! Swanky neighborhood.

It's a very cool house.

But it's just me there alone.

It'd be great

to have you guys come over.

Oh, well,

it's kind of a tradition

to have game nights here.

But you know what?

Let's let him show off

his big house, huh?

That's the spirit!

Trust me,

this will be a game night

to remember.

- Oh, boy.

- Mmm.

- Promise?

- Good night, everybody.

I love you much. Drive safely.

- Kisses!

- All right.

- Take it easy.

- Bye.

That little motherf***er.

Whoa!

Well, I mean, come on.

We don't see him

in over a year.

He shows up

in your dream car,

insults our house,

and then tells an embarrassing

story about you,

right before your turn just

to throw you off your game.

Welcome to my whole life.

Why are you suddenly

so worked up about it?

Well, 'cause now he's messing

with your balls

and literally killing

millions of our babies.

Well,

that's a little dramatic,

but, yeah, you know.

I mean, that's Brooks.

I thought that this was just

regular old brother stuff,

- but I totally see it now.

- Mmm-mmm.

He undermines you

every chance he gets.

Yeah. Yeah.

- It's crazy!

- Thank you, Annie.

I've never won

a single game against him.

I just... I think we gotta

fix this Brooks thing.

- Fix it?

- Yeah.

What are you suggesting?

I'm suggesting

we beat his ass.

Jesus Christ.

Good evening.

We're gonna skip the cleanup?

Sure you don't wanna

take a Lyft?

No, no. I am not getting

drunk tonight.

- Good evening!

- I'm gonna stay alert and ready.

Jesus, Gary!

Where are you headed?

We are going to, uh,

to my brother's.

Another game night?

No. No, absolutely not.

We're going to, um,

- have some dinner.

- Eat.

I see.

Pity. I was going

to invite you over

for a dinner I'm hosting.

I've purchased

four lamb shanks

that I've been simmering

in a broth

of red wine and rosemary.

- That sounds so yummy, though.

- Damn it.

It was actually

Debbie's recipe.

I like to think she left

behind her recipe cards

as a gesture of goodwill,

but it was most likely

an unintentional oversight.

Well, here we go.

What?

I'm sorry?

I thought you said something.

- No.

- Nope, not us.

Okay.

Have fun.

Oh, f*** me.

A guy who rents a house

this big

must be making up

for something

pretty small, I'd say.

No, no. No, I've seen his dick.

It's pretty great.

Well, I tried.

- Hey!

- Hey!

- Hey!

- How are you doing, beautiful?

- Good, good. Really fancy.

- Very nice house, Tony Stark.

Should we give our drink

orders to JARVIS?

No, I got the Tony Stark part,

but then you went

full nerd on me.

I kinda lost you,

but please do come in.

- All right.

- Thanks, Cap.

- Hi, guys!

- What's up?

Boy, could sleep four

on that couch. Look at that.

Oh, hello, friends.

Hey, let me introduce you

to my date. This is Sarah.

Sarah is head of company

accounting at our office.

Well,

corporate communications.

And she's also British,

which means

she's smart as sh*t.

- I'm Irish.

- Okay? Same island.

Well, it's really not.

- Nice to meet you. Hi.

- Nice to meet you, too.

- I'm Max.

- Annie.

So, you can't

always judge a book

by its past covers, can you?

- Mmm.

- Almost a saying.

- Here you go.

- Hey, Brooks.

- Cheers.

- We didn't know

if you had any games,

so we thought

we'd bring you

a few of our favorites.

Hey, look at that.

Whoa!

- Huh.

- The poor games.

I told you

we're taking it up a notch.

The game that we're gonna

play tonight is so epic

that we don't need a board,

and we do not need pieces.

Still didn't need

to throw them across the room.

I was being theatrical.

Holy sh*t!

Are we doing a fight club?

A what?

It's when rich people pay poor

people to fight each other...

Hey, hey, hey!

Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.

Stop with

the fight club, okay.

- It's nonsense.

- No.

Ryan believes

everything he reads.

Thank you.

So, what are we playing?

In the next hour,

someone in this room

is going to be taken,

and it's gonna be up to you

to find them

before they are murdered.

Oh! It's a murder

mystery party.

Not just

any murder mystery.

I found this company.

They do it super real.

They use legit actors.

You're not gonna know

what's real and what's fake.

- Fun!

- But that's not all.

Because whoever

finds the victim

wins the grand prize.

The keys to the Stingray.

- What?

- Wow.

Just the keys?

No, Ryan, the whole car.

Oh, yes! Oh, man!

You're so lucky I brought you

to this game night

- and not one of Max and Annie's.

- Hey!

No, I just mean

'cause this is better.

Oh.

You're not gonna actually

give away your car?

Oh, it's just a tax write-off.

And the Audi,

it's more practical.

Yeah, that makes sense to me.

Okay. How do we start?

We just wait for it to begin.

Maybe play a drinking game

to pass the time?

This group does not play

drinking games.

Tonight we do, Max.

- Oh. "Never Have I Ever."

- Good one!

Can you believe

this guy?

Yeah,

he's ridiculous.

Beautiful house, though.

Good champagne.

Here we go.

Yup. We're at the house.

We'll let you know

when we have him.

Jesus Christ!

What's with that knife?

It's for the cheese.

Okay, all right.

Just, you know,

really aggressive way

to carry a knife.

Oh no, I've got one.

Never have I ever

connected my work computer

to the projector

in the conference room

when it was open

on a WebMD page

for chlamydia symptoms.

- That's not cool!

- Drink!

Just for the record,

I did not have chlamydia.

It was pubic dermatitis.

You get it from

not washing your crotch.

- Okay.

- Good for you.

I... I like her.

Listen, you're not supposed to

single people out in this game.

It's supposed to be

generic things, like,

"Never have I ever slept

with a celebrity."

Oh, I didn't know. Okay.

Whoops.

- Mmm?

- Ooh.

What?

You slept with a celebrity?

No, I was taking a drink

separate from the game.

- That was bad timing.

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