Game Night Page #8

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What the f*** is this thing?

Oh, Debbie.

Oh!

Okay. F*** this.

Hey, guys, Gary was right.

It's awful late.

Let's get home,

get to bed, huh?

Get out of his hair.

We haven't finished the game.

It's your turn, Max.

Oh, my turn, huh?

Okay, be careful now, Max.

Oh!

Well, game over.

I went in a little hot.

Why did you...

Thanks.

Good to see you, Gary.

When shall we play next?

Soon.

We'll call you.

Bastian. Baby!

So, how are we supposed

to get this egg

out of

Donald Anderton's house?

I don't know.

I'm gonna figure it out.

"Unknown Caller."

Please don't be Gary.

Hello?

We have your brother.

Um...

Okay. We know

where the egg is,

and we're actually

on our way there right now.

We can do a swap, okay?

Please don't hurt Brooks.

Meet us on the East

4th Street bridge

at midnight.

If you're late, he dies.

- Oh, my God.

- Um...

Boy, that's less than

an hour from now.

Hello?

What's up

with this guy's voice?

He sounds like a monster.

He's using

a voice changer, Ryan.

He still sounds like

a scary monster.

And we are here.

All right, you guys head home,

and I will call as soon as

I get the egg, all right?

What? Wait a second, wait.

I'm going with you.

No, Annie. It could be very

dangerous in there, okay?

Listen, you know,

Brooks shouldn't have dragged

any of us into this,

but he is my brother.

And it's up to me to fix it.

No, bullshit!

We're all in this together!

- Ryan!

- No, no. No. Max is right.

You guys should go home,

but you and I are doing this.

Okay, what happens

if you guys don't make it out?

We don't come

to game night

because we're dying to play

Charades and sh*t.

We come because

we love you guys.

Honestly, this is

the best part of our week.

Mine, too. And I have a lot

of options on the weekend.

Wow. You guys...

Thank you. That's very nice.

Aw, good friends.

You should probably go,

though, right?

I mean,

you don't even know us.

Yeah, why are you still here?

Oh. I don't know.

I just got caught up in it.

Also, if I go home now,

and then I read

in the newspaper tomorrow

that you all died,

I'll feel sh*t that I left,

so I'm gonna stick around.

You still read the newspaper?

That's what you got from that?

How are we gonna

get into this place?

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Okay.

Looks like they got

a party going on.

This could be good.

Where is everybody?

No way!

It's some kind of

rich guy's fight club.

I knew it. They are real.

Come on!

That's my Boomer!

That's my Boomer!

Man, this is some

Django Unchained bullshit.

Water!

That's my boy!

Good boy! Good boy!

Rich people are f***ed up!

Kramer, get Logan ready!

Okay, minimum buy-in

is now 10 grand.

Okay, I think

we should split up.

Yeah.

And let's start upstairs.

Anybody finds the egg,

just text the others, okay?

And for God's sake, be careful

with it. All right?

- Gotcha. I got it.

- Be safe.

What are you...

What are you doing?

Who says the egg

isn't in here?

Also, I have a really good

feeling about Logan.

Egg, egg, egg.

Wow! This is some bedroom.

Does it remind you

of your celebrity boyfriend's?

Are you still on this?

Yes, I'm still on this,

Michelle.

That's all I can think about.

And that's saying a lot,

considering we got

Eyes Wide Fight Club

going on downstairs.

Why is this

so important to you?

Because, Michelle, look,

I am losing my mind here.

Okay?

We were broken up at the time.

I got a hand job

from Karen Waller,

so you had every right to.

So, why not just tell me?

Okay, fine.

It was 10 years ago.

I was at a gas station,

and I noticed a guy

at the next pump.

It was Denzel Washington.

Hold up.

It actually was Denzel?

Yeah.

He was really nice.

He made some joke

about how premium gas

is probably the same

as regular.

I took a chance,

and I asked him

if he wanted to get drinks.

He said yes.

We both got a little tipsy.

I offered to pay for drinks,

and he let me,

which I thought

was pretty cool.

We danced for hours.

Eventually, we ended up

back at his place,

and one thing led to another.

It was just this crazy thing

that happened

and, in a weird way,

it made me realize

the only person

I ever wanna be with is you.

Nah.

Nah. I don't believe it.

- Oh, you...

- Mmm-mmm.

Well, I took a picture

with him at the club.

I put it in a hidden folder.

Denzel and Michelle.

Yeah, baby, that's not Denzel.

Yeah, it is.

Mmm. No, it's not.

Dude looks

a lot like Denzel,

but it's not him.

You're crazy. That's...

Look at that, that's Denzel.

Okay, let me ask you this.

Did he say he was Denzel?

Well, no...

He tried to introduce himself,

and I cut him off

because I told him

I knew who he was.

- What kind of car did he drive?

- A BMW.

- Hmm.

- Three series.

Mmm. What was his place like?

It was a two-bedroom condo.

And he used the spare room

as an office, so...

Do you hear

what you're saying right now?

Hold on, let me see.

When you zoom in,

the nose gives it away, right?

- Goddamn!

- Mmm-hmm.

Look, don't beat yourself up

about it, okay?

There is some good news.

If you wanna get with Denzel,

he's standing right here!

Because the real

Denzel ain't got sh*t on me!

Honey, how does this monster

have five kids?

We don't get to have one.

Well, his wife looks like

she's about 15.

Uh... Yeah. My sperm are fine.

Right, right. No, I know,

honey. We're just gonna...

We're gonna keep plugging away

until something sticks, okay?

Gee, you really sound like a

guy who wants to have a kid.

Well, you know, I'm just...

I'm a little distracted

right now, honey,

as you might imagine.

Look, if you're not into this,

you kinda gotta tell me.

Listen.

I wanna have a baby, but

how do I explain this? Um...

Do you remember how we used to

play Pac-Man at Fisker Lanes

and we could play all night?

Do you remember this one time, I

made it all the way up to level 86,

- and you were not too far behind, right?

- 85, but...

And then I kicked your ass

at Galaga.

- So anyway, what is the point?

- Mmm... Anyway.

Do you remember

how we stayed alive so long?

All we did was

we ate the pellets.

We never ate the fruit because

the fruit is how they get you.

Oh, you're doing a metaphor!

Yes, but here's the problem.

No matter how long you and I

stayed alive in the game,

neither one of us ever made it

up to the leader board.

And you think

if we have a baby,

we'll be officially

settling down,

and you'll never make it

onto the leader board of life?

That's such a good metaphor.

Yeah, no, it's not.

- It's kind of bullshit.

- Why?

- What are we, 16 years old?

- No.

- You wanna go backpacking through Europe? Huh?

- Uh-uh.

You wanna, like,

have some wine coolers

on a football field

with Rebecca De Mornay?

Not specifically.

You know who's always gone

for the fruit, Max?

Your criminal brother,

and that is why

the ghosts

are about to eat him!

Look who's embracing

the metaphor.

I was so...

Wow. You know what?

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