Game Night Page #9

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All this time,

I've just been thinking

that if I helped you

beat Brooks,

you would be less stressed.

But you don't wanna

beat Brooks.

You wanna be Brooks.

I'm gonna look somewhere else.

Come on, Logan!

Boomer ain't sh*t!

Hey, ADHD!

We're supposed to be

looking for the...

Holy sh*t. I'm right again.

Wait, where are you going?

Everybody's watching the fight.

I'm gonna go grab it.

- No, don't f***ing...

- Be cool, be cool.

Oh, sh*t!

Who the hell are you?

Me?

Yeah. Who are you?

And what are you doing

with my egg?

Oh. I was just admiring it.

I got a bunch of these

fancy-pants eggs

back at home. In my mansion.

- Uh-huh.

- This one's ugly. Hmm.

Does anybody know this guy?

I certainly hope so.

I'm the CEO

of Cyberdyne Systems.

I should go.

Boomer, take him down.

Everyone hold on

a goddamn second!

Boomer!

Hey, any luck yet?

- No.

- You?

Go! Go! Go!

I got it! I got it!

Let's go! Come on!

Sorry. Sorry.

Hey, Ryan! Ryan!

Oh, sh*t.

Um, uh...

Okay, okay.

Sh*t! Okay.

Michelle, I'm open!

Hit me. Baby.

- Oh-ho-ho!

- Security!

No, you don't.

Oh, sh*t!

Kev, up here! Throw it!

I got it!

Oh! Oh, my God, yes, yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

Oh, no! No! No!

Get away! Get away!

Okay. Oh!

Go to the other side!

Oh, my God!

Annie! Annie,

where are you?

- Max! Max!

- Over here! Hey!

No! No, no.

Get off me!

No!

Oh!

That was easy.

Man, glass tables

are acting weird tonight.

Go, go, go!

Get in the van!

Get in, get in, get in!

- Get 'em!

- Get 'em!

So, you don't wanna

have a baby,

so we can do

more sh*t like that?

No. No.

Is that the fruit

you were thinking about?

Mmm-mmm.

That's not the fruit. No.

Hey, thanks for the assist.

Yeah.

I don't even know why

I really did it.

Do you think it's 'cause

you're falling for me?

I...

Not... Not sure.

Ugh. I was joking.

Oh. Okay. Yeah.

Aren't you gonna say

you were joking, too?

- Do you want me to?

- Oh, my God,

- Stop it.

- Okay, fine.

It's two minutes to 12:00.

Where the hell is this bridge?

GPS says

it's right around here,

but I don't see it.

Oh, oh. Oh.

There it is. 4th Street.

Oh, sh*t!

- Oh, my.

- That's great.

That's great. Now they're

gonna kill my brother.

Oh, God!

Hold on.

I'm not an expert, but these

gems look plastic to me.

"Made in China."

Is this thing not even real?

Maybe just that sticker

was made in China.

- Let's let them talk.

- Can I see?

Hey,

why would The Bulgarian

ask Brooks to bring him

a fake egg?

Uh, I don't think

he wanted an egg at all.

I think he wanted

what was inside the egg.

"WITSEC."

What is that?

Um...

We could ask them?

You tell anyone

we were coming here?

No.

I've got your egg.

- You do?

- Yeah, but we broke it.

- What?

- Well, it was a fake.

But we have the list of names

that was inside.

That's what you wanted, right?

Okay. Get on the ground.

We've got what you want.

Can't you just let us go?

I said, "On the ground!"

You too, playboy, get over

there. Get on the ground.

Yeah.

None of that

child pose sh*t, either.

The Bulgarian's gonna kill me,

probably you guys, too.

Why did you come here?

Because you're my brother,

and I can't just let you die,

even though

you might deserve it.

You're unbelievable,

you know that?

You've always been

a better person than me.

You gotta shut up. Okay?

Listen. I'm a fraud, Max.

I'm not the carefree dude that

wins at everything he touches.

You know how I win?

I cheat.

I cheat at everything.

I even cheated when we were

kids playing Battleship.

What?

Didn't you ever wonder

why I made you sit

with your back to the TV?

It was so I could see

your ships in the reflection.

I mean, I even took five grand

every time we played Monopoly

before we even

started playing the game.

I cheated at the Game of Life.

And at the game of life.

You son of a b*tch.

- You son of a b*tch!

- Yo, sit down.

- What about you, Princess?

- I don't have anything.

But it didn't stop there,

because when we grew up, Max,

you went off

to college, and I...

You got a career, you...

You married the greatest girl

in the world.

I knew I couldn't keep up

with that success.

So I...

I told everyone that I got

a job on Wall Street.

And I did.

Selling coke to traders.

You didn't invest in Panera?

I ate at Panera.

Jesus Christ.

What's going on?

But that's why I've been

trying to make it up to you.

That's what this whole

game night was about.

See, I had it rigged

so that you'd finally win.

The last clue

was gonna lead you...

Your jacket pocket.

Huh.

Surprise.

I even managed to f***

that up, though. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, Max.

I think we're gonna be okay,

though. I got a feeling.

You want us to kill them all?

- What?

- Okay.

Wait, wait.

Just let us go.

We won't tell anyone anything.

We got you the list!

- What the f***, man?

- F***! God damn it!

- Oh, sh*t. The fuzz.

- F***, man!

Freeze!

Gary?

Don't even think

about it, pig.

Can't say I care

for that nomenclature.

Get down!

Come on, b*tch!

God damn it!

Hey, isn't that your neighbor?

When did Gary

get so cool?

- Oh, my God!

- Everybody okay?

- You're cool-ass Gary.

- You all right?

Fine, thank you.

Though, in sliding,

my belt buckle

may have inadvertently

scratched

the finish of my squad car.

How did you know

we were in trouble?

The nocturnal Jenga game,

my blood-spattered

marital souvenirs,

and Max's curious search

history piqued my interest.

- Right. Oh, God.

- You, uh...

You saved our lives.

Thank you.

Just doing my job.

- Oh, my God!

- Oh!

- Sh*t!

- Oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t!

Gary!

Hello? I need

an ambulance. Officer down.

- Oh, sh*t!

- Hang in there, pal.

Hang on, hang on, pal.

Hang on.

You're gonna be all right.

We're gonna

get you to a hospital.

Okay, look at me. Gary, look.

You have got

a lot to live for, okay?

Do I?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah.

I have no wife.

- No friends.

- That's not true.

No, don't say that.

You got us.

We're your friends.

You've got us.

You don't even like

spending time with me.

Yes, we do.

We just...

We've been a little selfish,

that's all.

- Right, right.

- I'm sorry about that.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

- Bastian.

- Huh?

Someone please take care

of Bastian.

Gary, you are gonna take care

of Bastian yourself, okay?

Listen. As soon as you get out

of the hospital,

you're gonna come to every

single game night we have.

Don't...

Yeah?

Don't you

ever

exclude me again.

- Never exclude you again, pal.

- No.

- Oh, God. What is that?

- What's that?

Is that a blood clot?

It's a blood capsule.

- Huh?

- A blood capsule?

And that is how you do

a game night.

What?

I've duped you all.

Wha...

Hold on a second.

Are you telling me

that this whole thing

was a game?

What? What?

- They, they...

- Sh*t!

I'm sorry. They got up.

They got up.

When I learned you stopped

inviting me to your game nights,

I hijacked Brooks'

murder mystery party

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