Game Over, Man! Page #10

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Cassie, huh? You okay?

Yeah, I-I'm a little shaken, but I feel--

oh, I feel okay.

Hey... that promotion is yours.

-Really?

-You earned it.

-Yes.

-Now put my pecker on ice, huh?

Wow, what a night, boys.

I have been crawling around this hotel

for hours.

-Ooh.

-You know what, Mitch?

-Huh?

-I have a better idea.

How's about I call corporate

and tell them what a disgusting

excuse for a man you are

and demand that you be fired immediately?

No, not because I want your job

or a promotion.

Because I want you to know

that if you behave like a pig,

you deserve to get stuck like one.

-Wow!

-Sixty-one yards.

New Mexico High School state record,

boy or girl.

I'll make it up.

Let me just get my head together,

and we'll talk about it, all right?

Hey!

Somebody get my dick for me there, huh?

A little help?

-Where's Erma?

-She's gone.

What, you didn't grab any money?

No, I just want--

Get this thing in the air already.

Okay, but I haven't actually

technically flown this type of--

Alan, helicopter, air, now!

I'm not the one that shot the pilot!

-Hey!

-Wait!

Why are their pockets inside out?

Why are their pockets inside out?!

We're the waiters from before!

We want to buy the Bey back!

Please, we got all your money, look!

You can have it all!

We just want the Bey!

If I give you the Bey,

they shoot me out of the sky.

We brought an empty bag!

The Bey can just climb inside!

What?

They'll never know

that he left the helicopter,

and you get all your money!

Okay! Hurry!

Goddamn.

Get in. Come on.

Look, I'm saving you, dude.

I'm saving you.

Shut the f*** up.

You f***ing a**hole!

I will f***ing kill you, dog!

-Don't you f***ing close that--

-Let's get him out of here.

-All right, you got all the money.

-Right.

Thanks. You're not gonna regret this.

Let's make sure of that.

Oh!

Jesus.

-Get rid of him.

-Goddamn it.

Alan, let's go.

Open it up!

Come on, open it.

He's alive.

- Oh, my God! Oh, sh*t!

- Are you okay?

F***, that motherf***er shot me!

I can't believe he's getting away

with this sh*t!

He's not. Watch this sh*t.

Cassie.

Time to let the dogs out.

Over. You gotta say "over."

Okay, everybody, that's it!

Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go!

Faster!

No.

No!

It worked!

He f***ing blew up.

Yes!

Oh, man. It's kind of fun being badass.

Yeah, yeah, it is, uh, pretty exciting.

-I told you guys.

-You did.

You did, man. I'm sorry I doubted you.

-Get me to a f***ing hospital!

-Yep, okay.

Dumb fucks!

Okay, so, you know,

we'll start working

on the Skintendo Joysuit right away

and then keep you in the loop.

Yeah, and we are going to need

another check.

Yeah.

Our lives are in a pretty bad place

right now,

and that check is gonna

change our lives forever.

F*** are you talking about?

I'm not writing you guys another check.

Hold on. Wait one second.

Why aren't you gonna--

Oh, he's concussed, right?

He's got something up with his brain?

Is it jiggling around in there?

B*tch, the only reason I wrote that check

was to piss off Ahmad,

'cause that sh*t made me laugh.

Oh, my tummy.

Get me the f*** up out of here.

Come on.

And play with my balls.

Make sure my dick still works.

I do not get that. He seemed like

such a stand-up guy on the Instagram.

-He's an a**hole.

-Piece of sh*t.

Excuse me.

Hey, guys, um, I'm Mark Cuban.

I'm a friend of the Bey's.

I was up there tonight.

- I saw you guys had that bodysuit thing.

- Yeah.

Holy f***in' sh*t!

Oh, yeah, yup, we're gettin' Shark Tanked.

Mark Cuban wants to buy

the Skintendo Joysuit!

Skintendo Joysuit?

That's what you named it?

- Yeah, I named it.

- Good name, right?

That's bad. No.

I'm definitely not interested.

However, what you just went through

tonight was pretty hard-core.

I'd like to buy your story,

turn it into a video game

starring you guys,

voiced over and visually modeled

after famous actors, of course.

-I call Sean Astin.

-Mark-Paul Gosselaar, please!

Uh, Cara Delevingne. I don't know.

-Whoever we can get.

-I don't know.

- All right, guys.

- Awesome. Thank you so much.

Oh, he even walks cool. Sick blanket.

-See you, Marky Cubes.

-Ring-a-ling.

-Sweet.

-That was awesome!

That's funny. Wow.

Announcement! Announcement!

Shut-- shut up.

Shut up real quick.

I'm gonna make an announcement.

Hey, look. Now, I know

we are the millionaire video game mavens

that chartered this Costa Rica cruise

for 100 of our closest friends, yes,

but I wanna congratulate you guys

for having...

the best butt-cheeks in the business!

You guys are hot as f***.

And shake 'em if you got 'em!

Whoa!

Dinner bell's ringing.

Come and get it, boys.

- Come and get it, huh?

- Joel, I am so proud of you, dude.

Not a day goes by that I miss

that shy, closeted b*tch

that you once were, and I mean that.

-Thanks, man.

-And Darren?

I am beyond thrilled that you are

no longer a controlling a**hole

who needs to smoke salvia just to get by.

Haven't touched the stuff

since that night.

-Good.

-You know that.

Yeah.

Just, uh, doing cocaine now, you know.

But for fun.

It's better for you.

Ah! This is the best, guys.

Look at us.

Rich beyond our wildest dreams.

-Darren doing cocaine for fun.

-Shh.

Joel is, like, fricking wiggling

his dick around, just begging for cock.

Hey, I'm not... I'm not begging yet.

Oh! Darren, tell Alexxx

about that video game idea.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

New idea, new game:

leprechauns... but they're tall.

Oh, that is a clever twist.

No. Nope.

I'm not all about making money anymore.

You know what I'm about? Best friends.

Put your hands in.

Dew'd Crew!

Booty bump, a-booty bump!

Yes! We're gonna live forever!

We're never gonna die!

If you'll be my bodyguard

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

I can call you Betty

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Bravehearts

Bravehearts

Bravehearts

Now let's get it all in perspective

For all y'all enjoyment

A song y'all can step with

Y'all appointed me

To bring rap justice

But I ain't five-O

Y'all know it's Nas, yo

Grey Goose and a whole lot of hydro

Only describe us as soldier survivors

Stay laced in the best

Well-dressed with finesse

In a white tee, lookin' for wifey

Thug girl who fly and talks so nicely

Put her in the coupe

So she can feel the nice breeze

We can drive through the city

No doubt

But don't say my car's topless

Say the titties is out

Newness, here's the anthem

Put your hand up that you shoot with

Count your loot with

Push the pool stick in your new crib

Same hand that you hoop with

Swing around like you stupid

King of the town

Yeah, I been that

You know I click-clack

Where you and your men's at

Do the Smurf, do the wop, baseball bat

Rooftop like we bringin' '88 back

They shootin'

Aw, made you look

You a slave

To a page in my rhyme book

Gettin' big money

Playboy, your time's up

Where them gangstas at?

Where them dimes at?

Bravehearts

Bravehearts

Bravehearts

Bravehearts

I see niggas runnin'

Yo, my mood is real rude

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