Game Over, Man! Page #3

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We should probably

just let him do his thang.

Maybe we, uh, hang in the cut?

You know, have him come to us?

"The cut"? There's no cut.

Action's in the cut.

We're not gonna be in the cut if--

whatever.

Let's go. It's game time.

Hey, yo, I had this pet hyena once, right?

Then that motherf***er died. Ehh!

More appeteezees for the Bey.

Then I had that motherf***er stuffed,

put a Fleshlight in back,

and then I f***ed the sh*t out that b*tch.

It's like necrophilia

and bestiality in one.

It's hilarious!

That is hilarious.

Pulled pork quesadilla...

-with a corn relish, anyone?

-Yo.

That sounds bomb as fyuck right now.

Throw one into my open mouth.

- Really?

- Yeah, bro.

-Okay.

-Ah...

- Oh, I nailed it!

- Make it rain!

-Makin' it rain!

-Come on!

Oh, that sh*t was dope.

I'm covered in grease, baby.

-Yo, you're my dude.

-Thank you so much.

And this sh*t is on punto.

Hey, um...

Bey-Bey, may I ask you a question?

- What that, bro?

- Do you like black people?

Because Lumber Jackson is the first

full-body-controlled

blaxploitation video game ever.

Now, using our revolutionary

Skintendo Joysuit technology...

Excuse me. Step away immediately.

Yo, Ahmad, chill the f*** out, bro.

I'm trying to listen to the man.

- Thank you.

- I'm chilled out.

I arranged this chilled-out party.

I got Shaggy to perform.

Uh, Shaggy?

Man, busted-ass Shaggy

ain't performing sh*t, a'ight?

And put that dusty-ass BlackBerry away.

This primitive-ass,

prehistoric motherf***er.

I'm sorry, guys, 2018,

this dude ain't got a touch screen?

You big f***ing tree.

Goddamn.

What a b*tch-ass.

- He's just a butler.

- Yeah, you suck.

Yeah, you got low self-esteem.

F*** off, bro.

Anyway, you were saying, my dude?

That suit controls

that video game character?

-Yes, actually.

-Oh, yeah.

-And here...

-Yeah, this is the schematics right here.

You know, I built it, programmed it.

Oh, my God.

Bro, please approach us

and just unzip your trousers

and pull that dick out

so we could just see

what the penis head of a genius

really looks like.

-Know what I'm saying?

-Pull your dick out.

Well, to be honest, uh,

it would be my penis head pulled out.

I'm the genius that came up

with the whole concept, the idea.

I'm not gonna pull my dick out.

Oh, okay.

That's a cute little cartoon,

but did you build the motherf***er?

-Yeah, no, we have.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, we built it.

And there's actually

some new features too,

like, uh, friend-control mode,

where, uh, you can actually control

the person wearing the Skintendo Joysuit.

It's... it's revolutionary.

Damn. Oh, yo, yo,

I'm gonna need, like, three of those

for, like, blap, blap, blap.

You know what I'm saying?

'Cause I love f***ing white women.

Makes me feel powerful,

especially if I can control them,

you know what I mean?

Yes! I forgot about friend-control mode.

But you know who didn't forget about it?

Sony and Microsoft

when we pitched them this idea.

And they were super into it.

But you know what I said to them?

F*** y'all!

'Cause the Dew'd Crew

wants to do business with the Bey.

The Dew'd Crew? Wait, wait, wait.

Time-out, time-out.

'Cause y'all drink mad Mountain Dew?

You got it!

Yes, that's exactly right.

-How did you...

-Wow.

Yo, motherf***er, me too! Holy sh*t, dude!

- You ever f*** with Baja Blast?

- Oh, you know I do. You know I do!

- So good.

- Ah, man--

-Code Red over here!

-This is Code Red boy.

F***, I love you guys!

Let's talk numbers.

How much money we talking about?

Bey Awadi. Sorry, this-- this feels like

just the sort of frivolous investment

we spoke about not partaking in.

My dude, just because you told me not to,

why don't you "par-take" my checkbook out

and then write these motherfuckers

a check

for 200-frivolous-f***ing-thousand-dollars

so they can chase their goddamn dreams?

Am I right? Yezzir.

Oh, and then please scrub out

my hyena's p*ssy,

'cause I'm trying to f*** that sh*t later.

You should f*** it.

Treat yo'self. Oh, my God!

Cool. Get the f*** out of here.

- Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay.

- Go. Get out, get out.

We'll talk more numbers later.

-Thank you.

-Bye, take care.

All right, y'all.

I'm spending paper tonight.

It's just the beginning!

Not happening.

Apologies, Corky.

Let's go, boys. Let's go.

Let's go!

Cassie! Cassie! Tums!

Tums, meet me at the elevator.

-Come on, boys.

-But our check.

- F*** off.

- Yeah, I was just...

Yeah, we're going.

- Get up. Get out of here.

- Ow. Goddamn.

These three idiots just tried to sell

a goddamn video game to the Bey!

I thought I told you to sack up!

I'm sorry. I didn't--

You didn't--

you didn't want that promotion?

Yeah, you made that pretty clear.

Boys! You're fired.

-Yeah.

-No f***ing way, Mitch.

He was assaulted.

Out! Out you go!

- We're going.

- Cassie...

- ...get back to work.

- Yes, sir.

That's quite a stiff arm

you got there, huh?

You all right? Huh?

That paw of yours need a little ice?

-My hand is fine.

-Ah.

Well, how about a little ice

for those nipples, huh?

Oh-ho-ho-ho.

Yeah, you like that, huh?

Oh, that's hot.

Oh, that is hot, lady.

You wanna play?

- I do.

- Okay.

- Oh, I knew it. Oh.

- What about this?

-Yeah. Ooh.

-Mm.

Speaking of stiff...

Not my pecker!

Whoopsie-daisy.

All I'm saying is,

you win some, you lose some.

The key to our jiggy f***in' lifestyle

is tucked in that butler's pocket.

My name is Alexxx with three Xs.

I'm about to go explosive

on these motherfuckers!

Three X means "poison," by the way.

- Uh, it's also a Vin Diesel movie.

- Shut the f*** up.

Yeah, well, it's also

spicy barbecue sauce.

But I think we all know

I meant it in the explicit fashion!

My darling, have you lost

your f***ing mind?

Get him out of here. If they see him

before we secure the build--

Lock down all exits.

We have three waiters on the run

and they know.

Donald, it's time.

Copy that.

Hey, fellas. Bey Awadi's security here.

We just have one question.

What's your question?

-Do you wanna die?

-What?

Whoa, hey, hey.

What, y'all don't pack a lunch?

Man, take these clowns up to the roof

with the rest.

- Okay.

- Let's go.

Easy, man.

Locking down perimeter now.

Attention, all units.

Operation Trespass begins now.

Sweep the hotel.

Lock and arm all exits

with breach sensors.

We are taking over.

-Move! Get down, stay down.

-Hey, everybody be calm!

Just do what they say.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Right? Right?

Oh!

Oh! Oh, sh*t! Oh, f***!

Sh*t. F***.

Yo, what the f***, man?

You're supposed to be guarding the party.

Party's over.

Darren,

stop vaping, all right?

-I can't breathe!

-Just shut up! Okay?

As these doors open,

they're gonna be waiting,

ready to cut c*cks.

We'll hide. Hide in the shaft.

-Here, just help me up. Help me up.

-What?

-Ow. Just-- what are you doing?

-Oh-- oh!

-I found the latch.

-Oh, seriously?

-I think I found it.

-Well, go-- get in.

Sh*t.

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