Game Over, Man! Page #8

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in that water?

How much blood was in that dog?

It's like a f***in' bloodhound!

All right, mister!

I think we have all had just about enough!

Right?

Your treatment of our hotel guest

is unacceptable,

not to mention your complete

and utter disregard for hotel property!

And you killed the little rat puppy!

As acting manager of the Level Hotel,

I am telling you,

this ends now!

Oh, God.

Just-- There you are.

That's better.

Look at the time.

It appears the U.S. government

doesn't care about you.

In 60 seconds, someone will die.

But, uh, I think I'm done with killing.

For a little while, at least, um...

Don't talk.

- You.

- Oh, sh*t.

No. Babe.

Do something. Volunteer as tribute.

-Do something!

-Up.

Do something! Oh, God. Okay.

And...

No way. You.

Cut them free, please.

Step forward.

Now...

fight to the death.

What? No.

I'm sending this... Oh!

...to the news next.

-Look, I'm not killing her.

-Okay.

One of you kill the other...

or I shoot you both.

Look, anybody who can see this,

I don't wanna do this!

I am not a murderer!

You got that right!

- Christ.

- Sh*t, I killed him.

J-Joel...

Now, that's what I call television.

But let's not do it again.

Bring me my money, my helicopter.

-Did they put the money together yet?

-Just now.

Tell 'em to get the chopper up now.

Yes, sir.

Hey, dude. Keep it down.

Hey. Hurry the f*** up.

Okay, do you want me to be fast or quiet?

'Cause that guy's about to kill somebody.

Come on, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Come on, come on, move it.

It was just working. Oop.

You're gonna die so fast compared to me.

Okay. It's ready.

-I got the torch. Need a lighter.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here.

Okay, just hand it to me. All right.

And, uh, plug in the fan.

-Hurry!

-I'm going to. Where's the extension cord?

Oh, was I supposed to bring that?

Yeah, I said bring it.

Yeah, well, you also said

you didn't need my help.

Then you cut me out of the Skintendo.

So, I don't know,

I guess I was just a little confused.

-Alexxx, no.

-Dude.

Please do not be a complete piece of sh*t

and tell me you brought

that extension cord.

Mm-mm-mm.

You're playing games because

we wouldn't let you be in charge?

Dude, those people are counting on us.

Forget it. It's fine. Just-- you're gonna

have to build a longer tube,

some kind of conduit.

Just get some more f***ing...

grocery bags or...

-Uh...

-No, no, no.

F*** you.

You are so f***ing selfish,

it's disgusting.

I'm serious when I say this,

as maybe a friend,

but you better... watch your back.

Dude, you watch your back.

-No, dude, behind you!

-Watch your back!

F***!

Don't shoot them, you idiot.

They're mine.

Damn it.

Well, well.

Looks like Little Miss Tough Girl

ain't so tough anymore, is she?

We gonna have some fun.

-Split up!

-Split up!

Sh*t! Go this way!

-No!

-Oh, sh*t!

What are you doing? Split up!

-Yeah, we did!

-I meant all of us.

I need a minute, man.

I got to take a little trip somewhere.

What? Oh, f*** no.

You're gonna smoke salvia

while we're being hunted by murderers?

That's right. Know why?

'Cause I don't wanna know

I'm being hunted by murderers.

Oh, yeah, suck it down, you f***in' sicko.

What about Alexxx, man?

We got to find him.

Sh*t!

Get ready to be my first kill!

Yeah? Be prepared to be my millionth.

Yeah, right!

If you'd said nine or ten,

I'd be like, "This guy's a murderer,"

but a million?

It's way too many!

That's too many murders!

No!

No!

Oh, God!

I'm gonna f***ing kill you,

you son of a b*tch.

My bad.

Oh! I'm so sorry!

I'm sorry! I don't want to!

F*** you!

Follow me.

Great. Back in El Jizzblaster's room.

- So what now?

- Nothing.

Okay? We're done.

You ruined our best shot

at ending all this.

F*** you!

Okay, good. You're fired up.

So I won't take that personally.

Now let's use that energy--

Alexxx, take it personally.

We're done following you around for good.

Whatever. You guys are doing A-okay

without me, right?

Working in secret

on the Skintendo Joysuit?

How long has that been going on, huh?

Jesus Christ. Years.

I can't believe I followed

a loser like you around for years.

I'm not a loser!

Whoa! Hey! No!

You just shot at me?

I shot near you, b*tch.

Okay.

Me too, then.

You son of a...

Guys! Stop.

Shut up, Baby Dunc.

My name is Joel, you idiots!

Oh, sh*t! Oh!

Oh!

Oh, I wish this were f***ing loaded, dude,

'cause then I would put it there

right through your skull!

Well, if this was loaded,

I'd come sideways on you like ka-kow.

Really? 'Cause it'd come out

the other side, and I'd just suture it up.

Oh, okay, well, then my gun

has a bayonet on it,

and I'd, ugh, un-suture your face!

Oh, really?

Guess what. I got more sutures.

-Suture, suture, suture.

-What, motherf***er? You spell "suture"!

You spell "suture"!

I'm doing this too.

I wish this were f***in' loaded, dude.

This is loaded.

Rich to Mr. Ahmad. I found those waiters.

We're housekeepers.

Perfect timing. Bring them to

the conference room. I'll kill them next.

Too late. They're already dead.

Oh, good.

Erma got them?

No, me. I'll be up in five.

Mr. Ahmad. There's a chopper approaching.

You guys look exhausted.

Let's hit the spa.

Move!

I've been waiting for these pics

for a long-ass time now.

Yo, the guys are gonna love this.

You look motherfucking insane.

Come on, that sh*t is funny. I know

you got a big-ass dick on your face,

but hey, poo-poo head?

-That's some funny sh*t right--

-Mm-mm.

I thought that sh*t was funny.

Okay, okay, okay.

You hate America.

Man, I get that.

Slavery, drones,

they just discontinued

the KFC Double Down out of nowhere,

but, like, come on, man, we're good guys.

I'm here for the money.

And after this job, Jared and I

were finally gonna get away from it all.

Is that the, uh-- the guy upstairs?

-Yeah, it's the guy upstairs.

-What is that?

What is that?

You don't know what it's like

to lose someone like that.

I do.

I pushed them away myself.

Oh, f***.

Don't f*** with me, a**hole.

I'm just getting started.

Now, you know what?

Let's relax a little bit.

Let's turn these off.

There you go.

Now...

What's next on your spa menu...

Have you guys ever had...

a lava stone massage?

No.

We're maids, man.

We can't even afford a lava lamp.

Oh, they're fabulous.

Oh, this is gonna feel so good.

For me.

It's gonna really, really hurt you.

No. No, no, no!

- Oh, yeah!

- F***!

Let's get out those knots!

-Stop it! Just stop! Stop doing it.

-Stop!

Please. We're sorry

we killed your friend, seriously.

My what?

-My what?

-Your friend.

My friend?

-You sound like my dad!

-Okay.

He wasn't my friend!

He was my everything!

Ow!

Hey, fuckface!

-Alexxx, stop. What are you doing?

-No, no, no, no. F*** this crybaby.

Oh, why you being

such a f***ing cwybaby?

"Ooh, my lover's dead."

You know what you should do?

Take your own dick,

shove it up your own butt,

impregnate it, have a butt baby.

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