Garden Party Page #5

- Where do you live?

- I'm staying with my cousin right now.

But I wanna get my own place soon.

I'm saving up some money.

Well, I can help you out with that.

Go get me a large,

non-fat latte, extra hot.

And get something for yourself.

Okay.

Becky? Hello, Becky.

Unlock this door, young lady.

- Shh, be quiet.

- Is someone in there with you?

I heard voices last night.

You're not allowed to

keep this door locked.

What are you talking about?

It's unlocked.

April?

What are you doing here?

- Sally, she offered me a job.

- A job? What job? My job?

Nathan. This is our new intern, April.

- Nathan. It's nice to meet you.

- It's nice to meet you too.

You know, you look really familiar to me.

- Do you two know each other?

- I don't think so.

Maybe I've just seen a picture of you

someplace, then.

No. I don't think so.

I told April she could stay at your

place for a couple of days.

No really, that's okay.

I can just go stay at my cousin's.

And sleep on the sofa? No.

It's fine. We have an extra bedroom.

It's no problem. Right, Nathan?

Of course not.

Sally St. Clair's office.

Postcard in the mail?

Okay, enough small talk. Nathan,

I'm sure you can keep April busy.

I'll do my best.

What are you doing here?

I ran into Sally at a coffee shop.

I was applying for a job.

Sally St. Clair's office.

I don't know what's going on,

but you find your own apartment.

Can you hold please?

Thank you.

Carlos.

Hi, it's me, Becky.

Listen, I need you

to do something for me...

This neighborhood is a little sketch,

but you can crash here for a while.

Carlos said he would be here.

Dude's a real stoner,

so anything is possible.

I just talked to him.

Yo, Becky. What's up?

Carlos, you reek.

Just doin' some B-52s.

Did you guys want one?

No. But it smells like some good sh*t.

Yeah. Some dude out of Diamond Bar.

Hydroponic,

featured in High Times.

I mean, everybody's going crazy for it.

I'm just lucky I got it.

Dude, take the trash out

every once in a while.

I know.

I've been really, really busy.

- What are you doing?

- What do you mean?

- You left me to lock up the office.

- I asked Sally if I could go.

Look, you're the low man

on the totem pole, okay? You ask me.

Okay.

Now can I take my f***ing shower?

Yeah, sure.

Finish your shower.

You better not use my washcloth, okay?

So you're the guy

responsible for all of this.

You're really not supposed to be in here.

But no, I'm not responsible for all this.

There's a guy that comes by

a couple times a week...

...to make sure everything's

doing what it's supposed to.

I just kinda like spraying 'em.

It relaxes me.

Sorry, do you want a couple buds?

Sure. Yeah, yeah.

That'd be great.

Here you go.

Let it dry out for a couple days first.

Wow.

This is some good stuff, man.

- Where'd you get it?

- This cat I know.

You get some more of this stuff, man,

I want some.

Turn the f***in' music down, man!

- So, what's Becky's story?

- She's a sweetheart, man.

I mean, her dad's, like,

this really rich guy. He's never home.

She's into me.

We met in this creative writing class.

She really likes my poetry.

I wanna go to f***in' sleep, man!

Turn the f***in' music off!

- It's warm.

- Don't worry about it. Fridge is broke.

What do you think you can get

for that weed, man?

I don't know, man.

A lot of money.

This is, like,

the best stuff I've smoked in years.

I smoke a lot of pot.

So do you know "Free Bird"?

F***ing Christ! Turn it off!

Come on, let's smile now.

Come on.

Look like you're enjoying it,

all right? Yeah.

Okay, isn't that enough?

You said you'd let me

take some pictures. Come on.

This has nothing to do with real estate.

How's that tape treating you?

I transferred it to my computer

so I can edit it.

Do I get a copy?

Do you want a copy?

- I'll get back to you on that.

- Oh, okay.

You know, my girlfriend moved out.

That was sudden.

We haven't had sex for six months,

so that's not really.

Are you one of those freaks that can

only get off on tapes and everything?

I don't know what came first:

My lack of interest in her...

...or my complete obsession with you.

It's good I get into bed early tonight.

I got a yoga class in the morning.

- I was that young.

- Younger.

Yeah, you're right.

- You do yoga?

- Yeah.

Birkram.

- Can you unlock the door?

- You know, you sweat. You're sweaty.

Wait, wait, wait. Let him

get to the bottom of the street first.

And don't turn on the lights

'til they get out of the hills.

- He's not gonna walk her to the door.

- This is great.

He's waiting for her to get in.

Now's our chance. Just follow me.

- Wait. What's the plan?

- Just stick with me.

Hey! What?

No, no! What the f***?

Who are you, man? What do

you want? What are you doing?

- Shut up.

- Stop.

We've got a little surprise

for you, David.

Now I'm gonna pull you into the car.

If you try anything, I'll break

your f***ing neck. You got that?

- It's my favorite song.

- I can tell.

- Where are you going?

- My cousin, she invited me to a dinner.

It's a congratulations

for me getting a new job.

You want?

They're gonna give me sh*t.

But I don't care.

I knew Sally was gonna

find somebody else.

I'm too stoned all the time.

I'm f***ing sh*t up.

It's exactly what happened

to the last guy.

Oh, don't say that.

Maybe you should just stop smoking

every night, and mellow out.

You think I care about this job?

You think I wanna work in real estate?

I mean, every other person...

Nobody knows what they want.

It's like, if they want a house

with a sauna...

...the full bedroom

can have only partial light.

But Mrs. Son-of-a-B*tch

can't sleep

unless there's a lot

of light in the room.

Mr. Son-of-a-B*tch can't sleep because

there's too much light in the room.

It's like Goldilocks grew up

and got married.

And all of a sudden,

nobody knows what they want anymore.

That's not what I want.

I mean, you wanna work in real estate?

I don't even really know

what I wanna do.

Me, I came out here to be a dancer.

Like I was gonna be one of those people

poppin' in the Missy Elliott videos.

Funny, huh?

You know, we should go dancing.

- No, I don't wanna go dancing.

- Come on, I'm in my party dress.

What about your cousin?

You think I really wanna see them

making out?

Okay, okay.

Come, come. Come on.

Since the mid-1990s,

the central government

of Botswana...

... has been trying

to put Bushmen out...

... even though the

National Constitution

guarantees the

people the right...

Do you hear something, man?

Yeah. I got it.

Geographic just, like, kills it.

Hotties.

- Hello?

- What are you doing?

- Nothing, really.

- Well, who are you with?

- Just hanging with Carlos.

- Carlos?

Is he telling you

my deep, dark secrets?

No, nothing like that.

I miss you.

Do you miss me?

Sure.

No. I wanna hear you say it.

I want you to say it in front of Carlos.

I just farted, man.

Can you smell it?

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