Garden State Page #8

And, uh...

She gave me her sleeve...

and she told me

to blow my nose into it.

And I remember thinking,

even as a little kid, like...

"Wow!

This is love."

"This is love."

Large?

I think I see one.

- Shut up.

- Yeah, I do. Wait. Wait, wait.

We should save it

or something.

Okay. Don't move.

Okay.

We could put it in my scrapbook,

if I had a scrapbook.

- That it?

- I think so. I don't really feel any more coming.

Well, if you do, just let me know.

I'll get the cup, okay?

This was such a good idea.

- Who are you?

- I'm your new friend Sam.

Tissue?

Come here.

F***, this hurts so much.

Yeah, I know.

But that is life.

If nothing else,

that's life, you know.

It's real.

Sometimes it f***in' hurts.

To be honest,

it's sort of all we have.

How are you feelin'?

Safe.

When I'm with you,

I feel so safe.

Like I'm home.

But did not make it.

The driver died on impact.

Dad.

- Come on in.

- I'm sorry I woke you up.

No, I was just reading.

Where have you been?

Everywhere.

Been on sort of a crazy journey

these last couple days.

You've been avoiding me.

No, I haven't been.

Come on.

Okay, maybe I have been.

I'm sure you can find

lots of things in your life...

that you can be

angry about.

But what I do not understand

is why you're so angry at me.

All I ever wanted was

for everyone to be happy again.

- That's all I ever wanted.

- When were we all ever happy, Dad?

You always say that,

but when was that?

When was this time

that we were all so happy?

'Cause I don't have it in my memory.

Maybe if I did, I could help steer us back there.

But I just...

You know, you and I need

to work on being okay...

if that's not

in the cards for us.

Well, we might

have a shot at it...

if you can forgive yourself

for what you did.

What I did.

What I did.

Okay, let's-let's do it.

Okay, we're here, right? Le-Let's do it!

I'm gonna forgive myself

for what I did. Are you ready?

I was a little boy, and

somebody made a shitty latch.

That's what I think. That's what

I think about the whole thing, okay?

And I'm not gonna take those drugs anymore.

They left me completely f***in' numb.

I have felt so f***ing numb to everything

I have experienced in my life, okay?

And for that...

For that, I'm here

to forgive you.

You always said all you wanted was for us

to have whatever it is we wanted.

Maybe what Mom wanted more than

anything was for it to all be over.

And for me...

what I want more than anything in the world

is for it to be okay with you...

for me to feel

something again.

Even if it's pain.

Well, you're going against

your doctor's recommendation.

That's a pretty weighty experiment

to take on, don't you think?

This is my life, Dad.

This is it.

I spent 26 years waiting for

something else to start.

So, no, no, I don't think

it's too much to take on...

because it's

everything there is.

I see now

it's all there is.

You and I are going to be okay.

You know that, right?

We may not be as happy as you always

dreamed we would be, but...

for the first time, let's just allow ourselves

to be whatever it is we are.

And that'll be better, okay?

I think that'll be better.

What are you

thinking about?

- You're not coming back, are you?

- Come on, Sam.

- Of course I am.

- No, you're not.

You don't realize this is good.

This doesn't happen often.

In your life, you know?

I mean, this...

We can work

this stuff out.

I want to help you,

you know?

We need each other.

I haven't even lied in, like, two days.

Is that true?

No.

Look, this isn't...

This isn't a conversation

about this being over.

It's... It's...

I'm not puttin' a period

at the end of this, you know?

I'm puttin', like,

an ellipsis on it.

Because I'm-I'm worried

that if I don't go figure myself out...

if I don't go, like,

land on my own two feet...

then I'm gonna f*** this whole thing up,

and this is too important.

I gotta go. L...

Gotta go.

I fired my psychiatrist.

I gotta go find a new one.

Look, I'm gonna call you

when I get there.

I'm gonna call you.

Look at me.

Look at me.

You changed my life.

You changed my life,

and I've known you four days.

This is the beginning

of something really big.

But right now, I gotta go.

Come here.

Final boarding call for all...

Take your seats as quickly as possible.

- What are you doing?

- Remember that idea I had about

working stuff out on my own...

- and then finding you once I figured stuff out?

- The ellipsis?

Yeah. The ellipsis. It's dumb.

It's dumb. It's an awful idea.

And I'm not gonna do it, okay?

'Cause like you said, this is it.

This is life...

and I'm in love

with you, Samantha.

I think that's the only thing I've ever been

really sure of in my entire life.

I'm really messed up now,

and I got a lot of stuff I gotta work out.

But I don't want to waste any more

of my life without you in it, okay?

- Yeah.

- And I think I can do this! I mean, I want to.

- We have to, right?

- Yeah!

- Right?

- Yes!

So what do we do?

What do we do?

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