Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties Page #8

Year:
2006
6,486 Views


Wait in the room.

Stupid cat!

Nobody makes an idiot out of me.

[grunting]

[whimpers, body thuds]

[visor squeaks]

Oopsie-daisy.

Medic!

PRINCE:

Well done, old man.

GARFIELD:

Thank you.

Never seen a welcome mat

on the way out.

[grunts]

GARFIELD:

Get your cameras ready, ladies.

DARGIS:

Come back here, you flea-bitten monster!

[chickens clucking]

-[ducks quacking]

-GARFIELD:
Oops! Oh, no!

[taunting blubber]

[panting and grunting]

Ooh!

[panting]

[grunting]

[gasping]

ROMMEL:

Trousers!

[Dargis screams]

[barking]

[Dargis screams]

[barking]

-Trousers!

-[screaming]

[gasps]

McBUNNY:

Target sighted!

DARGIS [mumbling]:

Shaken him off.

Pull!

-Take that!

-[clay shattering]

-And that!

-[Dargis screams]

-Down a bit. Down a bit. Up.

-Bob's your uncle!

[grunting]

Good Lord, it's a conspiracy!

[Rommel barks in distance]

[barking]

Oh, dear.

Trousers!

DARGIS [echoing]:

Smithee!

JON:

Excuse me, sir.

Is that Carlyle Castle?

It is.

Maybe you can help me.

Have you seen a cat

that looks like this?

Ah, yeah... that's Prince,

the cat of Carlyle.

[whimpers]

It's also Garfield,

the cat of the cul-de-sac.

Do you mean to say,

you have a cat

that's Prince's doppelganger?

No, I'm saying

they look exactly alike.

And there's a chance

they may have gotten mixed up.

I see.

There you are, man.

Good God! What happened

to your clothes?

Indeed, it's been

that kind of day.

Mr. Dargis, I demand

an explanation.

[voice cracking]:

I had no choice.

The cat just won't die.

What did you say?

You will sign the deeds

over to me, cat or no cat.

Oh, my!

Mr. Hobbs, you were right.

Lord Dargis was willing

to go to any lengths

to get the estate.

I can see you're busy.

I'm just gonna...

Uh! Young lady.

Get over there.

Traitoress. You were working

with them all along!

JON:

Odie! Odie, wait for me!

Odie!

DARGIS:

Get on with it!

PRINCE:

Hello, everyone.

Sorry I'm late.

Shall I ring for tea?

Well, it's Prince,

and he's alive!

GARFIELD:

I am bushed.

All this running-for-my-life

stuff.

What say we break for lunch,

take a quick nap

and pick it up later?

Sound good?

There are two

of you little monsters, hmm?

For those keeping score

at home, that's 18 lives.

MR. HOBBS:

This is unbelievable!

-HOBBS:
Two cats?!

-DARGIS:
No matter.

I have plenty of ammunition.

-Aah!

-[Odie growling]

Something's biting me!

[screaming]

[growling]

Odie, let him go!

Help! Oh!

Your lunatic dog

just bit my bottom!

[laughter]

All right.

Well played, you.

GARFIELD:

Hey, look, it's Little Jon.

PRINCE:

Good show, old man.

I'll go quietly.

Jon?

-Liz?

-What's going on?

Well, hello, my dear.

Hello.

And not a moment too soon.

-[gasping]

-GARFIELD & PRINCE: Uh-oh!

Is this part of the tour?

-Let her go.

-All in good time.

Now if you'll be so kind...

Okay, stay calm.

Okay?

Mr. Hobbs, the papers, please.

I've seen enough.

You want to call in your weasel?

PRINCE:

Sic him, Nigel.

Oi! I'm a ferret.

And I mean business...

trouser-leg business!

Ooh... [screams]

NIGEL:

I'll take a leg, please.

Ooh, on second thought,

I'll have some white meat.

Aah! Good Lord!

There's a wild animal

in my trousers!

[grunts]

[whimpers, body thuds]

Hoo-dee-doo-dee-doo.

Uh, who's next then, eh?

Glass jaw.

He can dish it out,

but he can't take it.

That was amazing!

Are-Are you okay?

Yeah, I...

I never felt better.

PRESTON:

Well done, Garfield.

I was rooting for you

the whole time.

Did you hear something?

Yes, one did.

I'm here to discuss

my new position in your...

SMITHEE:

There he is, gentlemen.

Come along.

There's a good boy.

Oh... It was the animals,

you know.

Plotting, planning,

every one of them against me!

I assume that

will be all, sir.

Smithee.

He'll vouch for me.

Smithee!

PRINCE:

Odie, thank you.

You're a hero

and a gentleman.

Whoa. There are

two Garfields?

Well, how can you

tell them apart?

Oh, you forgot imbecile.

-That's Garfield.

-Garfield.

Liz, I've been...

I've been trying

to get the courage up

to ask you something

all week.

-Uh-huh.

-And, uh...

Oh, come on...

Really?

[mumbling]:

Looking for something?

Thanks, pal.

Liz, will you marry me?

[sighs happily]

Yes.

Aw...

You know a dog's mouth

is cleaner than a human's?

-[rock beat plays]

-Come on! The coast is clear!

[group singing pop]

[animals cheering]

Hooray!

McBUNNY:

Let's hear it for the cats!

Hooray!

Go, Garfield.

That's right. Come on!

Do you do

the Carlyle jig?

It goes like this.

[chuckling]

Can you do this?

Oh, boogaloo.

[chuckles]

[chuckling]:

Jolly good.

Bust a move, man.

No, it's something

like this here.

PRINCE:

And so, my loyal subjects,

I leave you

with a final legacy.

Cannonball!

[animals groaning]

[moos]

[bleating]

[animals chatting excitedly]

Brilliant party, sire.

[chuckling]

GARFIELD:

Yeah, when the going gets tough...

the great ones party.

[grunting]

[Odie barking]

[bleating]

Who wants to play

Marco Polo?

HOGS:

Marco!

I refuse to partake in this

sinful display of hedonism.

Oh! Those nuts look good.

Get a load of this!

Bombs away...!

I love this pond.

We rule the pool, goosey.

Give me some feathers!

[group singing pop continues]

GARFIELD [chuckling]:

Watch the ears.

Thank you.

Oh, you're so kind.

[Odie barks]

Odie, could you

beat it, please?

It's good to be king.

[group singing pop continues]

[group singing pop continues]

[song ends]

[mid-tempo rock beat plays]

[man singing]

[woman vocalizing]

[man singing]

##

[woman vocalizing]

##

[man singing]

[woman vocalizing]

[man singing]

[woman vocalizing]

[song ends]

[fast-tempo surf guitar

instrumental playing]

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Joel Cohen

Joel Edmund Cohen (born August 23, 1963) is an American film writer who has worked on such projects as the movies Cheaper by the Dozen, Toy Story, Money Talks and Garfield: The Movie. He frequently works with his writing partner Alec Sokolow. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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