Gentleman Broncos Page #5

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What are you and I gonna

wear to the premiere?

You got to promise me

you're gonna let me make you something.

Mr. Donaho?

Hi, I'm with the Village Gazette

Nice to meet you.

Hi.

Hey, Benjamin. I'm so glad you came.

How are you?

I'm good.

Nice to see you, Benjy-boy.

Hey, Lonnie. This is my mom, Judith.

Hi. I like your matching hippie clothes.

Oh, thank you.

There are important press people here,

so don't forget to do

a nice standing ovation.

You got it.

Shall we take our seats?

Daisy had everything

Beauty

Money

A 50-acre horse ranch

A prize-winning stallion

But what she didn't have was

Logan, the stable boy

But he was already married to her sister

Hey, Logan, want to go for a ride?

Can we bring old big sis along?

I was thinking it could be just the two of us

Come on in The water's great

I don't think that's a good idea

I don't care if you have

a 50-acre ranch or a prize-winning stallion

I love my wife

We have a great physical relationship

My horse's semen

is worth $10 million

Investors from all over the world have tried

everything they can

to get their hands on it

Benjamin.

I've only just realized

that what we shared together onscreen

was very real to me.

I don't feel very good.

Oh, well, you're nervous about the film,

aren't you?

Yeah.

Well, let's get out of here, then.

Let's go someplace

where we can relax and be alone.

Okay.

Can you hold on for just a second?

Oh, yeah.

Come with me to my underground facilities

Working at the yeast facility

has made my breasts so big

and gave me so many diseases

I wish I could've been there for ye

Your brother loves you, Vanaya,

and he'd do anything for ye

But Daysius has surely

destroyed him by now

One of the laser hit my b*obs

Okay, we can go.

I thought we could grab a couple of

sudokus and snuggle up somewhere.

Groggily,

Brutus regained consciousness

There was a numb pain below,

some stitches obviously

sewn by a medical droid

Instantly, Brutus knew that one

of his reproductive bags had been stolen

Oh, my gosh, is that

the new Chevalier book?

Read this.

Benjy, don't ruin it for me.

Just read it.

Okay.

"As Brutus struggled to free

himself from the medical pod,

"a voice spoke to him

from across the room.

"'I'm sorry, Brutus,

we had to borrow one of your gonads.

"'We're investigating ways

to strengthen the military."'

I don't believe this.

Benjamin, wait, we can get through this.

Strutting into town

like you're slinging a gun

Just a small-town dude

with a big-city attitude

Honey, are you looking

for some trouble tonight?

Well, all right

You think you're so bad,

drive the women folk wild

Shoot them all down

with the flash of your pearly smile

Honey, but you met your match tonight

Oh, that's right

You think you'll knock me off my feet

Till I'm flat on the floor

Till my heart is crying Indian

and I'm begging for more

So come on, baby

Come on, baby

Come on, baby,

show me what that loaded gun is for

Dusty?

What are you doing here?

I brought your wrap gift.

Oh.

People hated your movie.

Some of them walked out.

Yeah, I kind of figured that.

And this guy said

you stole the whole deal from some book.

It's not true.

Yeah. I hit that guy in the face.

Then I punched Lonnie in the neck.

Lonnie's a butthole.

Did you hear what he did to my voice?

I sound like a leprechaun.

That's why if somebody messes

with one of your stories again,

you gotta take them out.

'Cause you're good.

And I'm not saying that

just 'cause I'm your Guardian Angel.

Thanks.

Just like Jesse James

Tonight you're gonna go down in flames

Just like Jesse James

Tonight you're gonna go down in flames

Just like Jesse James

I'm gonna shoot you down, Jesse James

Look.

Who's that?

Isn't that your hero? He's in town.

Maybe after Don Carlos,

we could drop by the book signing.

You know, Don Carlos owns the biggest

nightgown company in the state,

and he wants to see my entire line.

I mean, this could be my big ticket.

I feel like things are changing for us,

don't you?

And it's gotta be Dusty.

He's our good luck charm.

Come on. Come on, honey, I need your help.

We gotta do a few loads.

Ow.

Get her.

Guess this is it.

I'm so nervous.

I just pray that he likes my collection.

How do I look?

You look fine.

Wish me luck.

Your house is a real palace.

Hey. I didn't see you there.

Love your dress.

Thank you.

Why don't you go into my bedroom

and undress to your comfort level,

and I'll be there in a second.

Brutus stood

at the edge of the pond

and held aloft a futuristic cylinder

I made us a time capsule.

I put a butt-Ioad of keepsakes in it.

We can send it floating downstream,

and that way, if we die,

future generations will learn from us.

Look at this.

It's a friendship stone.

Come closer.

Let's blow on it.

You blow first.

What?

Mom. What happened?

He wanted me to bed down with him.

He what?

He said if I slept with him,

that I could have my nightgowns

in every Penney's across America.

But I couldn't do it.

Benjamin, no! Benjamin, no!

Hey, Don Carlos! How about you come

down here and fight me like a man!

Benjamin, stop, get back in the car.

Benjamin, get back in the car!

You think you can harass

my mom, you fat sack of crap?

Come down here and fight me!

Mom, I need you to pop open the trunk

and run away from the car.

I can't.

Just pop open the trunk

and get out of here.

No, but I can't.

Finished with my woman

'cause she couldn't help me with my mind

People think I'm insane

because I am frowning all the time

All day long I think of things

But nothing seems to satisfy

- Hello.

- Hi.

And who can I make this out to?

Kristie.

Kristie.

I would just love to step inside your brain

for a day and see what it's like.

Explore its many kingdoms

and learn its darkest secrets.

Take it from someone who lives there,

you might not be able to handle it.

My mind is a landscape

of mystery, of thrills.

A place where even the bravest of travelers

would be shaken

by its geysers of original thought.

Wow!

Hmm.

I know. May the gods bless you.

And so as you hear

these words telling you now of my state

I tell you to enjoy life

I wish I could but it's too late

- Hi.

- Hi.

I was wondering

if you would sign this for me.

Excuse me for a moment.

Friends Friends

I would like to introduce you

to a dear disciple of mine

This young man standing beside me

loved Brutus and Balzaak so much

that he turned it into a gripping screen

adaptation called Yeastie Boys.

As a reward for his efforts,

Prism Publishing has decided to honor him

with an all-expenses-paid trip

to any one of the lower 48 states,

And this commemorative bean-pillow,

mini-size,

this jacket,

and a trip to Space Camp

Awesome.

Join me now in a moment of silence

as we commemorate his contribution

to science and the arts

Put the pillow down, I beg of you.

You stole my story.

I don't know what you're talking about.

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