Get Hard Page #11

We're talking the real police.

The ones that's gonna come here

on boats with sirens on them...

...that's got dogs that can swim. Let me

tell you something about swimming dogs.

Now, let me tell you,

you're gonna bullshit a bullshitter...

...just make the bullshit plausible.

This is the U.S. Marshall Service.

Prepare to be boarded.

You are carrying a fugitive.

Yes!

Heh. Hell yeah.

Oh, sh*t.

How?

Remember this bracelet

that crooked lawyer of yours gave me?

By my calculation

we should be well outside the county line.

Prison school's in session, b*tch.

And somebody just graduated.

That's perfect. That's perfect.

That's great, right?

Attention Sea Note.

This is the U.S. Marshal Service.

- Where you going? Huh, Martin?

- Where you going?

What?!

- Look at you, man!

- I know.

God, look at you!

Where did you put...? That was in your ass.

That was in your ass.

The computer proved I was innocent.

Martin was arrested for fraud, tampering

with evidence and obstruction of justice.

And I will be

contacting my attorney. Daddy?

As for me, I was cleared of all

charges related to the embezzlement.

So I guess we did it.

Mayo and Chocolate.

- Heh.

- Thank God we won't be needing this anymore.

This illegal, unlicensed gun.

- Okay, you should really get

rid of that thing. MAN: Gun!

- Drop it!

- Oh, sh*t.

I did end up getting six months

for carrying an unlicensed weapon.

But, thanks to Darnell, I was ready.

Prison is like life distilled

to its purest form.

Give respect to get respect.

But most of all, if you let someone f***

with your food, you're a punk f*** b*tch.

Someone should have told you

this Mayo went bad.

I'm gonna punch you in the f***!

I'm gonna sh*t you!

Merry Dickmas, Santa Cock!

Martin didn't do as well.

But he learned a valuable lesson too.

They be f***ing in San Quentin.

- How ya doing?

- A whole lot of f***ing.

Hey! Open up. Open up.

Shonda visited me every day.

I never thought prison would be the place

I learned to love again...

...but that's what happened.

No, no, no!

She's not done. She hasn't finished yet.

No, it's not what you think.

We're in love.

I helped the FBI find and return

all the assets Martin stole.

In return, they unfroze my bank accounts,

and I knew just where to invest my money.

It's good?

It's good, right?

Makayla, you proud of Daddy?

Daddy did good? Give me a hug.

Daddy, I like your car wash.

I'm glad you like it, sweetie.

I see you survived.

I guess you got hard, Mayo.

No. You made me hard.

Come here, man. Heh.

Aah!

You made me hard.

So hard.

You got me so hard.

I'm happy to see you too, big fella.

I'm happy to see you.

There was a moment

where I stopped being hard...

...but I thought of you,

and it got me hard again.

And I can't ever thank you.

All right.

Welcome home, man.

Come on, let's get in the car.

You look good, James.

Welcome back to the free world, James.

How you wanna celebrate?

You know what I'd like to get my

hands on? A Wall Street Journal and a 40.

Now that'd be a perfect Sunday morning.

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