Get Him to the Greek Page #16

101.

ALDOUS:

If you’d like, but I certainlydon’t want to apply any pressure.

I have had my share of threesomes.

DAPHNE:

C’mon, let’s do a threesome.

Wouldn’t that be fun?

AARON:

I was speaking completelytheoretically. I’m not actuallysure whether we should really behaving a threesome in reality.

DAPHNE:

You just said it’s something thatyou’d like to try.

AARON:

Well, I mean, it is.

DAPHNE:

So why not try it? If we don’t

like it we don’t have to do it

again.

ALDOUS:

I got this mate who I had athreesome with and he didn’t like

it and then he never had one again.

Daphne looks at Aaron like “see?”

DAPHNE:

I mean, unless you’re scared.

AARON:

I’m not scared. I was just worriedthat you might be scared. I didn’t

want to press you into anything.

DAPHNE:

You aren’t.

AARON:

If you’re not scared.

DAPHNE:

I’m not scared.

AARON:

Then neither am I.

102.

ALDOUS:

(clapping his handstogether)

Perfect! Let me get my whip.

(off their looks)

Just joking. Don’t take life so

seriously!

Aldous starts very casually taking his clothes off.

ALDOUS (CONT’D)

Well, what’re you waiting for?

Daphne and Aaron start taking their clothes off too. It’s *

very awkward and proforma.

INT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S BEDROOM - LATER

Aldous, Aaron and Daphne are awkwardly sitting on the bed.

AARON:

So... how do we start this?

Because if we can’t, we don’t need

to -

Aldous starts making out with Daphne.

INT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S BEDROOM

PAN FROM Aldous having crazy amazing sex with Daphne to Aaronsitting on the bed looking not really all that happy.

AARON:

So... I’m... gonna get some water.

(then)

Do you guys need anything?

DAPHNE:

I’d love some.

Aaron gets off the bed and goes into the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Aaron fills up a glass with water. Then a second glass with

water. He then looks at himself holding two glasses of

water. He is literally serving water to his girlfriend andthe man who is f***ing her.

ALDOUS:

I am going to ejaculate!

103.

AARON:

This is bullshit.

ALDOUS (O.S.)

I am ejaculating! Ahhhhhh!

INT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S APARTMENT

Aaron rushes back into the bathroom. Aldous is somehow

having sex with Daphne’s face. Or at least that’s what we

have to assume. All the drive drops out of Aaron.

AARON:

Hey, guys. Where do you want me toput your water?

DAPHNE:

C’mon, baby, get involved.

Aaron awkwardly tries to get into the action.

ALDOUS:

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! I am

going to ejaculate again!

Aldous pulls out and ejaculates. We don’t see it. We justsee Aaron’s face change.

AARON:

What the f***?

ALDOUS:

What’s the problem?

AARON:

You got it on me, man!

Aaron is frozen in terror/disgust.

ALDOUS:

I didn’t mean to. That was an

unintentional sperming. *

DAPHNE:

Hey, you gotta expect that kind ofthing is going to happen in thissort of situation.

ALDOUS:

I am starving. I understand

there’s a delicious diner around

the corner. You interested, mate?

104.

AARON:

Nahhh, I’m good, mate. I think I’d

rather stay here then watch you eatpancakes after you’ve had sex withevery part of my girlfriend andthen jizzed on my leg now GET THEFUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!

DAPHNE:

Hey, Aaron, let’s talk about this!

AARON:

I don’t want to talk about this

while he’s here! And once he’s not

here this is nothing we can talkabout! This cannot be solved

through discussion! This is youcheating, right in front of me!

ALDOUS:

I don’t think it’s cheating whenit’s a consensual threesome.

DAPHNE:

I thought you were cool with thewhole threesome thing.

AARON:

That wasn’t a threesome! That was

a twosome with me watching!

ALDOUS:

You could have jumped in. We

weren’t being exclusionary. That’s

against the rules.

AARON:

This isn’t about rules or not

rules! This is about you fuckingher right in front of me! And whyare you in this conversation? Whyare you even here?

Aldous leaves the room.

DAPHNE:

I’m sorry, Aaron, I didn’t mean forthis happen.

AARON:

You were the one who said you’d beinto a threesome!

105.

DAPHNE:

After you said it! If you didn’twant to, why weren’t you honestabout that? I would’ve said no if

you didn’t want to do it.

AARON:

I shouldn’t have to say anything toget you to not have sex withanother man!

ALDOUS:

Sexual mores are just a thing ofthe past century. We are all

living in a false construct.

AARON:

GET OUT!

Aldous leaves again.

AARON (CONT’D)

How could this happen? Our life

was just going along at a great,

awesome clip. Why?

DAPHNE:

I don’t know.

Daphne and Aaron both start to tear up.

AARON:

I want you to hug me even thoughyou were having sex with adifferent guy like two minutes ago.

What is wrong with me?

DAPHNE:

I want to hug you too. It’s OK.

Daphne and Aaron hug.

AARON:

Why am I letting you do this? Get

away from me, you... you... whore.

Neither Aaron nor Daphne can believe he just called her awhore.

DAPHNE:

I’m gonna go.

106.

Daphne goes. He notices that Aldous’s black manpurse isstill in the apartment. He picks it up and it spills opens,

revealing a box of needles. Aldous walks in.

ALDOUS:

I forgot my satchel.

AARON:

You’re jealous of my piddly life soyou destroy it.

Aaron takes a needle out of the box and TOSSES IT at Aldous.

ALDOUS:

Woh. Alright, mate. Let’s justhand them over.

AARON:

Congrats. Destruction complete.

Aaron throws a second needle like a dart and NAILS Aldous in

the arm.

ALDOUS:

Ow!

Aaron throws a third and fourth and fifth. They land inAldous’s leg, chest and right below his eye.

ALDOUS (CONT’D)

What the hell, man?

Aldous pulls the needle out of his face and tosses it back,

sticking Aaron in the arm.

AARON:

Hey, watch it!

ALDOUS:

You’ve been throwing them.

AARON:

Yeah, but that one was in you. Now

I’ve got whatever blood diseasesyou’ve got.

Aldous takes another and throws it at Aaron. Suddenly theyare in a FULL SCALE NEEDLE FIGHT, tossing needles back andforth with frighteningly fast abandon.

ALDOUS:

Draw! Draw!

107.

They stop. Aldous throws another needle at Aaron. The

needle fight starts again. While throwing needles, they saythe following things -

ALDOUS (CONT’D)

Don’t you get it! I’m done! The

only person that ever loved mehates me! I’m done making music!

I’m done! I might as well go killmyself!

AARON:

Fine! Go ahead, you big baby!

Kill yourself! You just f***ed mygirlfriend and then she dumped me!

I don’t give a sh*t what you do!

And make sure to swallow all the

pills! If you swallow only halfyou just get sleepy! Better yet,

shoot yourself, but make sure to doit in the head! That way you’llhave the best shot at actuallysucceeding in killing yourself!

ALDOUS:

I’m sorry if I’ve been adisappointment. I hope to one daymake it up to you.

Get out!

AARON:

Aldous leaves. Aaron collapses on the couch.

INT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S APARTMENT - EVENING

CHYRON:
THIRTY MINUTES UNTIL THE GREEK

Aaron watches television, depressed. The phone rings.

DAPHNE:

Hey, Aaron, it’s Daphne. We should

probably talk about what justhappened. I’m at my parent’shouse. Please call. I love you.

Like a lot. I’m sorry.

She starts to cry and hangs up.

lets it go to answering machine.

The phone rings again. He

SERGIO:

Where the f*** are you guys?

was supposed to be here -He

*

*

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