Get Him to the Greek Page #3

SERGIO *

Columbia Records Vancouver? *

AARON *

Yeah, we got a small outfit over *

there. Nothing like this. *

SERGIO *

I don’t remember hiring you. *

AARON *

Well, you’re a busy guy --*

SERGIO *

I remember everything. *

He HITS a button. *

SERGIO (CONT’D) *

Andrea, baby! *

Andrea POKES HER HEAD IN. *

SERGIO (CONT’D) *

Did I hire this guy from Columbia *

Records Vancouver? *

Aaron smiles at her with all his might. She can’t believe *

he’s lying. *

RECEPTIONIST *

Yeah. But it was a while ago. *

SERGIO *

Alright, baby. Go now, go. *

She leaves. *

SERGIO (CONT’D) *

Take Aaron. I always like to chat *

with my new guys before they start *

up here. Who’s your idol? Like, *

who do you hope to be in thirty

years.

AARON *

David Geffen. He’s the king. I

hope to be him in every way,

except, not, you know...

15.

SERGIO *

Not what?

AARON:

Lifestyle wise.

SERGIO *

What is that? Lifestyle like how? *

AARON:

Like I’m not gay.

SERGIO *

I am.

AARON:

That’s crazy. I’m actually gay aswell.

SERGIO *

You just said you weren’t.

AARON:

I know, I just didn’t know howyou’d respond or whatever. It’s so

nice to be working for a fellow gay

guy. Are you out because I’ve read *

almost everything about you --*

SERGIO *

Don’t you worry about that. How *

long have you known you were gay?

AARON:

I realized when I was ten or

thirteen. I would play sports withthe guys and I realized I didn’tjust want to play sports with them.

I wanted to kiss them on the

mouth.

SERGIO *

Oh, yeah. I remember that. So are *

you in a relationship now?

AARON:

Not anyone specifically. I’ll make

out with four strangers in a night.

(MORE)

16.

AARON (CONT'D)

Like last night I was at this gaybar and I had sex with this guy wholooked exactly like Ryan Gosling,

probably was him if you know what Imean, and, well, I’ll probablynever see him again. How about

you? What bars do you frequent?

SERGIO *

I’ve been with the same man for two

decades.

AARON:

Honestly, last night, I think I *

found the dude I’m going to spend *

the rest of my life with. Looks *

exactly like Ryan Seacrest but like *

more toned. *

SERGIO *

Does it look like I give a f***? *

AARON *

Honestly no. *

(then) *

Look, Columbia Vancouver was chump *

change. I’ve come to play in the *

big leagues. I’ve got connects at *

the Whiskey Lounge, Spaceland, the *

Smell, et cetera. I will do *

anything to prove my worth to you. *

Anything, Serge. *

QUICK CHORE MONTAGE

-- Aaron washes Sergio’s car. *

-- Aaron shines Sergio’s shoes and picks up his dry cleaning. *

-- Aaron picks up Sergio’s food and then literally cuts his *

steak into bite size chunks.

-- A very upset Sergio hands him a box. Aaron opens it. *

Inside is a dead cat. Sergio hands Aaron a note. CUT TO *

Aaron dropping the cat corpse off at a lab called GENETICSAVINGS AND CLONE.

-- Aaron appears in the doorway holding a tray of cookies. *

AARON *

Anyone up for a homemade cookie? *

(doing the voice of the *

cookie) *

(MORE)

17.

AARON (CONT'D)

C’mon, Mr. Roma. I know you want *

to eat me. *

SERGIO *

Get the f*** out of here. But *

leave the cookies. *

AARON *

(still doing the voice of *

the cookie) *

OK. *

Aaron LEAVES the cookies. Sergio takes a bite of cookie. *

SERGIO *

(to himself) *

That’s a good f***ing cookie. *

INT. PINNACLE ENTERTAINMENT GARAGE

Aaron drives out of the garage. The PARKING ATTENDANT takes

his parking ticket.

PARKING ATTENDANT

That’ll be $58.50.

INT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Aaron walks in. Daphne watches Grey’s Anatomy with several

girlfriends who wave at Aaron. *

AARON:

You started Grey’s without me!?

Aaron makes a pouty face.

DAPHNE:

We couldn’t wait!

INT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S APARTMENT - LATER

Aaron and the girls all watch Grey’s together.

AARON:

I just don’t think McDreamy is ascool as people think. He’s hot but

he’s not like a great guy.

DAPHNE’S FRIEND

Yeah, he is. He just doesn’t knowwhat he wants.

18.

AARON:

See, I disagree with that. He’s

really selfish; it’s just disguisedas not knowing what he wants. I’m

sorry, I am just not on theMcDreamy train. Now, Dr. O’Malley.

Hello!

All the girls and Aaron laugh. There are a couple crackercrumbs on the table. Aaron grabs the Dustbuster and vacuumsthem up.

INT. AARON AND DAPHNE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Aaron gets into bed next to Daphne who’s reading Cosmo.

DAPHNE:

Check this out. It says that thenumber one sex secret for men is

licking his butt. Isn’t that

hilarious?

AARON:

Totally.

They both laugh.

DAPHNE:

You wouldn’t ever want me to do

that?

AARON:

(laughing awkwardly)

No. Of course not.

DAPHNE:

I didn’t think so. Just kidding

anyway.

They laugh some more. Awkward pause. Then Aaron kisses

Daphne.

AARON:

Good night.

Aaron flips off his light and turns over. He kind of wants

it and she kind of wants to do it.

INT. ALDOUS’S GIANT MODERN APARTMENT *

Aldous’s in a drug induced stupor watching television. He

flips through the channels.

19.

REPORTERS:

The Sunni Triangle is reportingmore casualties --/World stockprices took a dip this morning --/

Pakistani officials would not

respond--

SASSY TABLOID TV REPORTER

-- Jackie Q, equally famous for herone hit wonder “Pound Me in the

Buttocks” -

Jackie Q, a slutty Fergie style singer, dances to a songcalled “Pound Me in the Buttocks.” Aldous is risen from his

stupor and pays attention to this news story.

JACKIE Q:

Pound me in the buttocks! Pound me

right now! You gotta pound me inthe buttocks! Pound me with a pow! *

SASSY TABLOID TV REPORTER *

-- as for her string of men hasrecently called the dating scenequits, getting engaged to Microsoftbillionaire Paul Allen. *

JACKIE Q *

I don’t think of him as the 7th *

richest person in the world. I *

think of him as a soul mate. When *

we spend time on his 30 room yacht *

there’s only one room we need, you *

feel me? We’re so in love! It’s *

right brilliant! *

Aldous looks shocked. *

SASSY TABLOID TV REPORTER

Briefly engaged to troubled Britishrocker Aldous Snow who unconfirmed

sources say fathered her child,

Naples, this is a romantic end to atrouble past.

Shots of Jackie Q, Aldous and a toddler with very long hair.

SASSY TABLOID TV REPORTER (CONT’D)

Aldous’s father, Jonathan Snow, in *

an unauthorized biography about his *

son titled “He’s Snow Angel” said *

that it was his son’s relationship *

with Jackie Q that knocked him off

the wagon. *

20.

VIDEO OF ALDOUS’S FATHER, JONATHAN SNOW: *

JONATHAN SNOW *

I wish my son all the best. *

PAPARAZZI *

Is it true you two are no longer in *

touch? *

JONATHAN SNOW *

He’s always in my heart. *

BACK TO THE ANCHORS: *

SASSY TABLOID TV ANCHOR

Aldous Snow? Where’s that guy

been?

SASSY TABLOID TV REPORTER

Probably dead in a pool of his own

sick.

They both laugh. Aldous stares in disbelief. *

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote