Get Him to the Greek Page #5

AARON:

You mind if I put the divider up?

27.

LIMO DRIVER:

There is no divider.

AARON:

Sweet.

INT. BRITISH AIRWAYS - FIRST CLASS - LATER

Aaron sits down in first class. He can’t believe how nice it

is. A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WALKS BY.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT

Would you like a mimosa orchampagne, Mr. Greenberg?

AARON:

I’m actually on the clock,

Veronica, but... what the hell.

You only live once.

CUT TO LATER ON THE FLIGHT. Aaron’s asleep while dressedhead to toe in the British Airways first class schwag withhis television on I, Robot.

FULL SCREENED TITLE: LONDON, UK.

EXT. ALDOUS’S GIANT MODERN APARTMENT *

Aaron stands outside, getting his courage to hit the buzzer. *

He finally HITS it. A dude OPENS the door. *

AARON *

(fake casual) *

Sup? I’m Aaron Greenberg with *

Pinnacle --*

DUDE *

Right-o. *

The Dude WALKS into the building, Aaron following. *

INT. ALDOUS’S GIANT MODERN APARTMENT *

Aaron walks into the Aldous’s apartment. Aldous’s hanging *

out with the a bunch of super cool, English Guys. *

AARON *

(same fake casual ‘tude) *

Sup? I’m Aaron Greenberg with *

Pinnacle --*

28.

ALDOUS *

Right. You’re meant to accompany *

me on my trip to LA. Make sure I *

don’t go all bonkers. *

AARON *

It’s super lame, I know. *

An older sexy lady named LENA walks up to Aaron. Aldous puts *

his arm around her like they’re a couple. *

LENA *

You better be good to my boy. Keep *

him out of trouble. *

ALDOUS *

This is my mother, Lena. Looking *

gorgeous as always. *

Aldous and Lena KISS on the lips. *

LENA *

Do you and the boys want any tea? *

ROCK GUYS *

Yeah./Sure thing./Thanks Ms. Snow. *

LENA *

Yours of course with several extra *

lumps. Aldy’s always liked his tea *

with several extra lumps. *

ALDOUS *

I like it sweet like my mum. *

LENA *

You spoil me, dear. *

ALDOUS *

Not as much as you spoil me. No *

other woman on Earth has ever loved *

me as much as you do. *

They kiss on the lips again. Lena heads out. *

ALDOUS (CONT’D) *

(to the Rock Guy) *

So then what happened? *

Aldous hands Aaron his joint. Aaron, not wanting to seem *

uncool, takes a toke. *

29.

ROCK GUY *

So I’m like so f***ed, you know, I *

can hardly see straight and then *

this bird I’m with is like all “put *

me down, put me down” and I don’t *

even know I’m carrying her I’m that *

high so I drop her on her ass. *

ALDOUS *

Then what happened? *

ROCK GUY *

Cops busted in, looked for my sh*t, *

couldn’t find it, left, and then we *

f***ed. *

The guys all laugh. Then out of the laughter, we here Aaron *

say... *

AARON *

Been there. *

ALDOUS *

(zeroing in on him like a *

guided missile) *

You have? What happened? *

AARON *

I just used to really do the junk *

like all the time. Like everyday. *

ROCK GUY *

And what happened? *

AARON *

I used to smoke it. And eat it. I *

used to eat junk with a spoon. *

(then) *

The stories I could tell, man. *

ALDOUS *

Specifically. *

AARON *

One time I was on the road, teen *

tour, and me and my junk buddies --*

we were like super into junk at the *

time. Like you know that movie *

Trainspotting? *

They all nod. *

30.

AARON (CONT’D) *

We were like that. Well we ran out *

of junk so we stole a car, like a *

Porsche style car, and we went down *

to Mehico to buy more junk and the *

border guy said “you guys got *

heroin in your car!” And I swear *

at that moment I became a man. *

ALDOUS *

How’d you respond? When the border *

guard said that? *

AARON *

“No I don’t have heroin in my car!” *

But we did. We had a lot of junk *

in the car. Every one of us did. *

ALDOUS *

That is something. *

AARON *

It was something. It was. *

Long awkward beat. *

LENA *

And tea and chocolate Hobnobs are *

served. *

EXT. ALDOUS SNOW’S LONDON TOWNHOUSE *

Aldous and Aaron are accompanied out the door by his mom. *

LENA *

You have a safe trip, you hear? *

ALDOUS *

I love you, mum. We’re always *

afraid to say what we really mean. *

I mean, this could very well be the *

last time I ever see you. I love *

you and I’m not afraid to tell you *

that. *

Aldous and Lena hug. Aldous starts tearing up. *

LENA *

There, there. *

31.

ALDOUS *

(covering) *

There’s just too much love in this *

world. It’s overwhelming. *

LENA *

What a sensitive lad. Keep an eye *

on him, Aaron of Los Angeles. *

Lena hugs Aldous and kisses him on the lips. She then hugs *

Aaron and Aaron awkwardly and accidentally kisses Lena on the *

lips. No one seems to notice. Aaron leans into the car. *

AARON:

Heathrow, British Airways terminal.

ALDOUS:

Not yet. We gotta stop by CaptainKnob’s first. If I’m gonnaperform, I need my bandmates.

EXT. CAPTAIN KNOB’S HOUSE - DAY

Aldous and Aaron stand outside a country house.

swings open revealing CAPTAIN KNOB.

CAPTAIN KNOB:

What the f*** are you doing here?

After a charged moment, they hug.

CAPTAIN KNOB (CONT’D)

Who are you?

AARON:

Aaron Greenberg from Pinnacle -

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

The door *

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

Captain Knob’s INCREDIBLY HOT WIFE, ABBY, appears behind him *

with two kids. *

ABBY *

Oh, sh*t. *

Aldous waves to her. *

ALDOUS *

All cleaned up now, Abby. I *

promise. *

32.

INT. CAPTAIN KNOB’S HOUSE *

Captain Knob sits on the couch feeding a baby with a bottle *

while TWO BOYS wrestle behind him. Abby puts tea sandwiches *

down before them. *

ALDOUS *

You gotta come, man. Don’t make me *

beg. *

CAPTAIN KNOB *

Look. I would love to. And I’m *

thankful, believe you me, I am. *

Infant Sorrow got me all this. The *

house, the wife’s clothes, the two *

Bentleys, my soccer field. *

PAN TO REVEAL that through his living room windows is his own *

personal soccer field. *

CAPTAIN KNOB (CONT’D) *

But my life is perfect now. I grow *

my own strawberries. I cook. I’ve *

started painting. *

PAN TO REVEAL a porny, nude portrait of Captain Knob’s wife. *

CAPTAIN KNOB (CONT'D) *

One moment please. *

(to the wrestling boys) *

Wizard, Jericho, resolve your *

differences elsewhere. *

The boys leave. *

CAPTAIN KNOB (CONT’D) *

Every one of my days is filled with *

such joy and meaning and familial *

love. And after one day on the *

road with this bloke, I’ll be *

licking coke out of some whore’s *

a**hole. And then I’ll lose this, *

all of it. *

(to the baby) *

You ready for a burpie? *

Captain Knob BURPS his baby. *

INT. ENGLISH LIMO *

The Limo Driver gets into the front seat. Aaron starts to *

sit in the front with the Limo Driver.

33.

ALDOUS *

Where are you going? Aren’t yougoing to sit back here with me?

I’ll be lonely without you.

AARON:

Oh, yeah. Of course.

INT. ENGLISH LIMO

Aaron and Aldous sit in the back seat.

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