Get Him to the Greek Page #9

EXT. UNDER THE TRIBORO BRIDGE - DAY

Aaron and Aldous are in a car service in a particularly seedysection of New York. A group of homeless men are talkingaround a garbage can.

AARON:

I am willing to pay you for the H, *

but I am not a drug buying guy.

Besides, we should really get toManny’s and then get to LA -

ALDOUS:

Money don’t mean nothing to me.

Just things. And drugs.

AARON:

If you want it, why don’t you buy *

it?

ALDOUS:

Because I’m famous. I could get in *

trouble for this sh*t. Now go out *

there and make pappa proud. *

AARON:

(whispering)

You shouldn’t be doing this stuff.

ALDOUS:

By not getting it for me, you’rejust making it inconvenient,

slowing down the inevitable. And *

there’s no need to whisper. *

(to the limo driver)

How many times have you had topurchase drugs for someone?

55.

LIMO DRIVER:

Too many to count.

AARON:

I was lying before. I’ve never

bought or sold heroin. I’ve never

even seen it until now.

ALDOUS:

Ohmigod, really?

Really.

AARON:

ALDOUS:

You think I give a sh*t what kindof heroin buying experience youhave? Oh, I only want a lad whomajored in drug purchasing atOxford buying my drugs.

(then)

This is your first challenge. I’ll

admit the glamour goes away. Stayfor the party, f*** off when it’stime to clean up.

*

*

*

*

AARON:

I’m not trying to eff off -ALDOUS

I guess that’s why Daphne’s dadhates you. And right he should.

AARON:

Firstly, he doesn’t hate me -*

ALDOUS:

But I know your type. You are a

vampire, sucking the life out ofothers so that you can live. *

AARON:

(starting to cry)

I’m not a vampire. I’m a good guy.

It’s all my fault, it really is,

everything that’s happened, butbuying illegal drugs is -*

ALDOUS:

-- small potatoes. You think David

Geffen would walk away from this?

(MORE)

*

56.

ALDOUS (CONT'D)

How many pounds of heroin hasGeffen transported up his ass inhis lifetime to get his yacht?

More than an ounce. *

EXT. UNDER THE TRIBORO BRIDGE - DAY

Aaron walks towards the trash can. He turns to see the limo

drive away, Aldous giving him a thumbs up. Aaron joins thegroup of guys around the garbage can.

AARON:

What’s up? I don’t have all day to *

finish this transacsh. Let’s make

this quick and painless. I show

you the green, you show me thewhite.

HOMELESS GUY:

F*** off.

The Homeless Guy walks away.

AARON:

Alright, that’s cool.

Aaron looks around. A SCUMBAG GUY comes up to him. *

SCUMBAG *

You looking for a package? *

AARON *

(oddly coy) *

Maybe. Who’s asking? *

SCUMBAG *

What the f***, man? Do you want to *

buy some heroin or not? *

AARON *

(whispering) *

Yes. *

SCUMBAG *

Toss your thousand in the garbage

can. Go down that alley. A man

will meet you down there.

AARON:

Toss my money down there? I’ve gota better idea, why don’t I justgive you my ATM code? My socialsecurity number?

(MORE)

57.

AARON (CONT'D)

Since there’s so much trust flowingback and forth, I’ll give you a gowith my girlfriend. You know,

while we’re at it.

SCUMBAG:

Toss your cash down there. Or I’ll

blow your brains out.

The Scumbag wanders away. Aaron looks around and then tosses

the cash in the garbage can. He looks at the alley.

AARON:

Mother effer.

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

It’s a terrifying alley. Like it could not be scarier.

Aaron looks down the alley. Aaron takes out his cell and

dials. Daphne answers. She’s at Banana Republic. As Aaron

talks, he walks down the alley.

DAPHNE:

Hey, baby. What’s going on?

AARON:

I just wanted to tell you, sweetie,

how much I love you. Like love

love you.

DAPHNE:

Me too.

AARON:

No, like, I love love you.

DAPHNE:

I love love you too. Are youcrying? Cause you crying is goingto make me cry.

AARON:

What if I never saw you again? I *

don’t know what I’d do with myself.

DAPHNE:

It’s so good to hear you open upand be emotional. So often I feel

like the needy one in ourrelationship.

58.

AARON:

You’re not needy -- you’re perfect.

Where are you anyway?

DAPHNE:

Banana Republic.

AARON:

I love the Banana Republic. I love

you forever. *

He gets to the end of the alley. Suddenly the same Scumbagcomes out of the shadows. He’s dressed slightly differently.

AARON (CONT’D)

Gotta go.

Aaron abruptly hangs up.

SCUMBAG:

(mushy mouthed)

You Aaron?

AARON:

We just met, ese.

SCUMBAG:

(mushy mouthed)

You don’t know me, b*tch. Do youknow me?

AARON:

No. Not at all. Except from fiveminutes ago, ese.

SCUMBAG:

(mushy mouthed)

You got me. My name’s Gritty. *

He holds his hand out. Aaron shakes it. *

AARON:

Aaron.

GRITTY:

Don’t have enough cash to have apick up guy, you know? Most guyshave a crew, but then you have topay the crew and it’s like, haveyou seen the rents in this city?

*

AARON:

Mos def. They’re bad in LA. *

59.

GRITTY:

What you pay?

AARON:

I got a two bedroom, one bath, 2500a month. *

GRITTY *

I pay twice that for a studio thatlooks out at a ventilator shaft.

Good location though. I gotta move *

to LA. I have this screenplay idea *

about the drug war but it’s from *

the like POV of the drug guy on the *

street, you know? But the drug guy *

has these like X-men powers and *

sh*t. I’d tell you more but you *

might steal the idea and then I’d *

have to f***ing kill you. *

AARON *

Totally. So we doing this or what? *

Cause time unlike money doesn’t

grow on trees.

GRITTY:

I’m ready when you are.

Gritty opens his mouth and points to the package which is inhis mouth.

AARON:

What? Just hand it to me like a

man, ese. *

GRITTY:

There are cops everywhere. Openyour mouth up to receive thepackage.

AARON:

I’m not doing that.

GRITTY:

Then you ain’t getting no package.

Aaron and Gritty basically French kiss so that Gritty canpass the package to Aaron’s mouth. Aaron takes it out and

puts it in his pocket.

GRITTY (CONT’D)

Keep the package in your mouth. If

the cops find you with it you canswallow it.

(MORE)

60.

GRITTY (CONT’D)

Put that sh*t in your mouth or I’llshiv you and you’ll be dead inseconds.

Aaron puts the package of drugs in his mouth.

GRITTY (CONT’D)

You’re a good dude. Now turn away!

Do not look to see where I am

going! If you look I will shivyou!

Aaron looks away. After a couple minutes he looks up.

Gritty’s standing at the end alley.

GRITTY (CONT’D)

Man, cabs just do not come downhere. Wanna walk with me to the

subway?

INT. FOUR SEASONS NEW YORK - INCREDIBLE SUITE

Aaron puts the drugs on the table.

ALDOUS:

You are a dear. A total dear.

Aldous hugs Aaron.

ALDOUS (CONT’D)

I was harsh, but that’s because

life is challenging and this is oneof those challenges.

AARON:

It’s fine. I got it done. That’s

what I do. I get things done andthis is one of those things.

ALDOUS:

I got you a present.

Aldous hands Aaron diamond earrings.

ALDOUS (CONT’D)

Or rather it’s for your great love,

Daphne.

AARON:

Is this real diamond? Cause if it

is this is not necessary at all.

This is probably the most expensivething I own.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote