Get Santa Page #6

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This must be one of the routes

for the letters to get to Lapland.

This must be a slide

for Santa to get to Lapland.

You can't take a slide all the way

to Lapland. it would take weeks.

- Well, let's go down it.

- Oh, no, we won't.

What?

Sometimes you fart, sometimes

you truffle. Be more specific.

- He's telling us to go.

- Tom, no!

Term!

Term!

Term!

Tom, where are you?

Torn! Torn! Torn!

Tom, can you hear me?

Dad!

Dad?

No. Oh, no.

Tom. Tom!

Term!

Tom, where are you?

Term!

Dad!

Dad!

There's a tunnel being dug.

You've heard, I suppose?

When they leave off singing,

yeah, yeah.

MAN ON W". Slowcombe's a relative

of friends of mine outside,

and they want him sprung

so he can join his dad.

Yeah, wasn't his dad...

Now a change to the schedule.

Unconfirmed reports just

in from Sydney, Australia,

that thousands of children have

awoken on Christmas morning

to discover their stockings empty.

Can this really be the first time

that Santa has failed to deliver?

I hope, and I'm sure I speak

for all of us, I hope this is not true.

Ugh!

Tom. Tom.

Tom. Tom.

Torn.

That was brilliant!

Oh, you're OK. You're OK.

Hello!

What is it? What is it?

Shh.

What was that?

Hello?

Hello?

Who are you?

- Who are you?

- I asked first.

I'm Steve, and this is my son Tom.

Why are you here?

Um, we've come to rescue Santa.

Why? What have you done with him?

What do you mean,

what have we done with him?

- He's in prison.

- Prison?

What's happened?

No.

Urn, he crashed his sleigh

and he got arrested

for trying to rescue his reindeer.

You see, Entwhistle? I told you so.

It doesn't prove anything.

It proves

you don't listen to Buster.

Who test-drives his new sleigh

two days before Christmas?

Stop making this personal, Buster.

This is not about you.

Excuse... Sorry, excuse me.

Are you, er, elves?

Why, yes.

Is this Elf City?

This is a forest,

a forest that surrounds Elf City.

Elf City is that way.

Come this way.

Come on.

Follow us.

I never thought it was real.

Not even as a boy.

He's gone missing

before but never for this long.

And never on Christmas Eve.

At this rate there won't be enough time.

Well, what are we gonna do?

Come up with a plan.

Operations.

I'm just putting you through now.

With you in a mo, Binky.

Send more

wrapping paper your way.

Terribly sorry,

they're busy right now.

Roger. Over and out.

Arts and crafts

have knocked up a map of the prison.

Now, I apologise it's not to scale,

but they've done the best they could

under the circumstances.

We believe Santa's where?

General population, C block.

Hmm. Is he gettable?

Can we get to him?

No. I mean, maybe.

You're quite sure there's no magic dust

left in the main sleigh?

- Quite sure. It was completely empty.

- Well, that's it, then, lads.

It's over.

Wait. So Santa crashed the new sleigh.

- Then there must be an old sleigh.

Yes.

So why can't we just fly in and get him?

Elves aren't allowed to fly the sleigh.

- Why?

Medical reasons.

What medical reasons?

If we y over a thousand feet,

we explode.

Oh.

Look, I hate to be the grump here,

but I'm also the realist.

He's missed New Zealand

and he's also missed Australia,

not to mention Kiribati, Samoa, Tonga.

And pretty soon the world's gonna wake

up to discover Santa's gone AWOL.

It's over, elves. It's over.

There's a door on the roof.

It's not on your map.

It's an emergency door.

We used it for a fire drill once.

Now, this door leads to a main atrium,

with access to all the cells.

Now, if you can figure out a way

of getting me airborne,

I'll fly in,

I'll land on the roof

and I'll get him out of there.

Just cos you think you're a getaway

driver, you think you can fly a sleigh.

That's a very

courageous offer, Steve,

but to fly the sleigh takes

an awful lot of training.

- Dad's a brilliant driver.

Even so.

Santa came to me for a reason.

"Santa came to me. " Ha!

You tell me to run this like a business?

He's making it personal.

Look, even if you could fly the sleigh,

Steve, we've only got one reindeer left.

He's retired and he's got three teeth.

Well, Prancer could

make it to the prison.

We'll then just need our friends

to get Santa to the main sleigh.

And what about the six reindeer

being held in Richmond Park?

Parachute Oswald in.

We know Dasher will make

his own way there.

Oswald simply needs to free the others

and get them to the main sleigh.

And we forget about

the unfolding nightmare in Australia?

Who's to say he hasn't left the

Australian kids their presents already?

In their back yards,

in their garages, on the beaches.

Santa'll make it on time.

And so will we.

It's not personal, Buster.

It's strictly business.

Here we go.

It's the Northern Lights.

There are no

Northern Lights.

We create it with the magic powder.

Fortunately, with a bit of misinformation

from the science community,

no-one questions it.

- Yeah, but how does that help us?

- The reindeer run on the green light.

Oh, right.

Is he all right?

Prancer won't let you

come to any harm.

Come on, quick. Jump aboard.

Oswald is on the back.

Right.

Put this around your wrist.

It will open any lock.

Just grab hold of the door handle

and the mechanism will do the rest.

The other apparatus

you'll have to figure out for yourself.

Here's the magic powder.

Take the gun, and if the lights go faint,

just fire the gun again.

Steve, thank you.

Yes, thank you.

Thanks, Dad.

Good luck.

- Don't worry, Dad. It'll be fine.

Yeah, it will.

That's it. This isn't so bad.

I think I've got this.

Dad!

Anderson.

- Anderson?

- Anderson, this is the police.

Show yourself.

Anderson?

"If all else fails...

"Help Santa. "

That's been crossed out

and replaced with "Get Santa".

"Lambeth Prison, 11:00 p. m. latest.

"Bring magic powder so we can fly. "

That doesn't sound good.

OK, so we're just coming up

to Richmond Park.

Prepare Oswald.

Er, how do I prepare him?

Dunno. Has he got a parachute?

There's no parachute.

Well, maybe it's a magic box.

Well, how do we know?

It's not magic.

Go, Oswald!

Oi, Santa.

Stop your snivelling and listen up.

I just got word they're transferring

you to a more secure prison.

- But they can't.

- Well, they are.

Fortunately for you, Knuckles

wants you out, so here's the plan.

A guard will collect you

and walk you straight past the gym.

That's where I'll be hiding, right?

When it kicks off, wade in,

and wade in hard.

I don't want the guard kicking me

round the cell like a football.

- I don't think I can do this.

- Yes, you can.

I wonder what Santa's got in his bag.

What you got there?

What, do you want me to

land this thing in the dark?

If that's the barber,

tell him to get Santa ready.

- Hello?

- Where are you?

- Mum?

- Tell me where you are, sweetie.

Um, we're just passing

the London Eye.

OK, stay where you are.

I'm coming to get you.

We just passed it.

- We're driving quickly.

- To where?

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