Get Santa Page #7

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Er, can I tell her where we're going?

Lambeth Prison.

Tom?

Well, come on then,

put the lights back on.

Torn.

He's taking him to prison.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Well, that's the only way down there.

What would Santa do?

Oh, you're kidding me.

There must be something here

that can help us.

So, what would happen

if I lowered this down here,

twisted this.

I've got friends

who would love a tool like this.

All right, Tom, you stay up there

and keep watch.

Come on, let's find him.

Transfer time, Mitchell.

Now, either you come quietly

or I'll get a couple of lads

and strap you to a gurney.

- I'll come quietly.

- Thought you might. Follow me.

There is, of course,

the option of an upgrade.

For a few quid I could stick you

in the minibus instead of the...

Where are you going?

It's this way.

Sally, where are you?

Oi!

Ah.

Now, perhaps you'd like to tell me

what is going on.

It Time for parties and celebrations

# People dancing all night long

# Time for presents

- Don't just stand there, pops!

# And exchanging kisses

- Do something.

# Time for singing

- Ah.

It Christmas songs

# We're gonna have a party tonight

# I'm gonna find that girl

underneath the mistletoe

# We'll kiss by candlelight

# Snow is falling

# Snow is falling

# All around me

# All around me

# Children playing

# Children playing

# Having fun

# Having fun

# It's the season

# Love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Merry Christmas, everyone #

- Come here, you little maggot.

What reason could Steve

possibly have to take Tom to a prison?

Because he's a dishonest,

irresponsible, childish imbecile.

No, no, it doesn't make sense, any of it.

Yeah, maybe the parole officer

just got the wrong end of the stick.

Why would he steal a reindeer?

Why would anyone steal a reindeer?

Come on, do something!

I'll do something all right.

I'll stick you in solitary, you wretch.

What's wrong with you?

Don't you wanna save Christmas?

Christmas? Is that what

all this is about?

I hate Christmas.

If I had my way, I'd cancel the lot of it.

# Just like the ones I used to know

# Where those treetops glisten

# And children listen

# To hear sleigh bells in the snow

- Where's Santa?

- I'm Santa.

- No, where's the real Santa?

- He is the real Santa.

Steve.

- What are you doing? You gone mad?

- Most definitely, mate.

- Where is he?

- He's in his cell.

Come 'ead. Come 'ead.

Have you been a good boy

or have you been very, very naughty?

# May your days, may your days,

may your days be merry and bright

Santa.

They must have moved him

into solitary.

Or he's been transferred.

# And may all your Christmases...

Knuckles.

Where's Santa?

Steve's here to get him out.

Steve, I thought you'd let him down.

He's with Sal.

I give him a ticket out of here.

Tell me you didn't.

# Just like the ones I used to know

# May your days, may you days...

- Have you thought about dieting?

Considering how many mince pies I eat,

I think I'm doing very well.

# And may all your Christmases

# Be white #

There was about 15 of 'em, big lads.

I didn't stand a chance.

- Yeah, all right. Where's Santa?

- I don't know.

No, no, I really don't know.

Wait. Write him a letter.

Write Santa a letter.

If he's close, it'll find him.

Come on.

Respect to the little man.

Tom, will you just give me

two seconds to think, please?

Search Mitchell's cell.

Right.

No, you'd best make that one.

You coming?

No, I'm gonna stay, do me time.

Any eyes on the suspect?

Negative.

- Don't mess this up, Boyle.

This is your chance to shine.

Copy that.

Travelling to Lambeth Prison.

What are we doing?

We're running.

I know that. Where are we running to?

In here.

"Santa. We're in the prison.

We have the magic powder. "

It's Steve. They have the magic powder.

They're in the prison.

And how exactly is that good news?

Oh, no.

All units be advised,

prison break in progress.

Repeat, prison break in progress.

Take the bag.

I'm liable to end up in prison because

I think I'm gonna wring his neck.

- Steve?

Where are you?

We're just coming off

Coldharbour Lane.

More importantly, where are you?

We're not far. Just stay there.

- Who are these clowns?

Alison.

Ali... Come on.

- Drive.

- I beg your pardon?

Put your foot on the accelerator

and drive.

He most certainly will not!

And if you two don't get out of our car,

Tony's gonna come back there

and drag you out.

Well... Well, um...

Hello.

- Sweetheart!

- Mum!

- Steve!

- Santa!

I knew you wouldn't let me down.

- Any chance we could get going?

- Tony, drive!

You need to take us to a park not far

from here where there is a sleigh,

and whilst I know it sounds weird...

- He's Santa.

- He really is.

I am.

I'm not an elf.

Can everyone stop being mad, please?

Alison, this man really is

the real Santa Claus

and if we don't get him to his sleigh

right now, then Christmas is cancelled.

- It's true.

- Go, Tony!

- What are you doing?

- No idea.

We're in pursuit of suspects, er, on

Trith Street, heading west, west, west.

We need to go faster.

- I'm already doing 60.

Well, do 70.

They're gaining on us.

Is that my tool bag?

- What are they?

- Pellets.

You can't fire

pellets at the police.

You can't fire pellets at anyone.

Reindeer pellets. They're droppings.

- Reindeer poo?

- Very gluey.

Sometimes I use it on my boots

so I stick to the roofs.

Specs thought it might come in handy.

He was right.

We're being shot at!

- Yes!

- Get in!

Well, that's three years in prison

right there.

That's five years.

Request armed backup.

Repeat. Officers under fire.

Boyle? Did you say under fire?

Copy that. Officers under fire.

Reload!

Ugh.

Ah...

Here.

Ho, ho, ho! I can see you!

Yes! In the face.

I'm hit. I'm hit. I'm hit.

I'm hit.

Boyle, you hang in there, OK?

Help is on the way!

Boyle? Boyle!

Oh, my God. It's poo.

It... It's poo. It's poo.

Oh, my God. It's poo.

Don't worry about that, Boyle.

Accidents happen.

You hang in there. OK?

Officer down. Repeat, officer down.

Ambulance on its way.

Ugh!

How did he get

the sleigh off the tracks?

He flew it.

That is one exceptionally clever squirrel.

That's Oswald.

Hello, boys.

Oh, there you are.

Very good.

Oh! Lovely to see you again,

my dears. Wonderful.

Oh, well done, chaps.

Ah, Dasher, there.

- How much of this stuff shall I put in?

All of it.

I've got a very long night ahead of me.

Right-o.

So much to do, so little time.

Good work, Oswald. Well done.

So, can I just ask,

is the plan for that thing to fly?

Oh, yes.

- And, er, you're going along with that?

- Yeah.

I spent four years digging a tunnel.

I never imagined my getaway vehicle

would be a sleigh.

Climb aboard, Sally.

Mind the squirrel.

All right?

About your letter...

You asked me to stop your dad

from letting you down.

That's not the sort of wish I can grant.

But my wish was granted.

But not because of me.

It was because of you.

Sometimes adults aren't quite

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