Get Shorty Page #5

KAREN:

How much is the wife offered?

Chili starts to speak, but Harry cuts him off.

HARRY:

Three hundred grand, and they take it, money in hand, babe.

The guy has his wife cash the check and he takes off for Las

Vegas with the dough. Gets there, he's supposed to call her,

tell her when to come out. But she never hears from him

again.

Meanwhile, the guy's hot, runs the three hundred up to half

a million . . .

CHILI:

He comes to L.A. . . .

Harry raises his hand to stop Chili. He's rolling, turns to

Karen now . . .

HARRY:

It drives the guy nuts, he's winning but can't tell anybody

who he is. You show in a back story his motivation, his

desire to be famous, you know, pal around with celebrities,

the headliners doing the big rooms. Now he's got the dough

to buy his way in, mix with celebs and he can't resist . . .

Harry then turns back to Chili.

HARRY:

So he comes to L.A. . . .

CHILI:

I don't know about his wanting to meet celebrities, that's

something new. But, yeah, he comes to L.A. Then after that,

I don't know what happens.

Chili looks at Karen. Patient. Not moving.

HARRY:

That's it? That's your movie?

CHILI:

I said I had an idea, that's all.

HARRY:

That's half a movie, with holes in it. Maybe forty minutes

of screen time. You don't even have a girl, a female lead,

and on top of that, there's no one to sympathize with, you

don't have a good guy.

CHILI:

The shylock's the good guy.

HARRY:

The shylock? He's barely mentioned. And it's not believable

the wife would get a settlement that fast.

KAREN:

Harry doesn't realize it's a true story.

They both look at her now.

KAREN:

That Miami flight that went down, it was on the news every

day for about a week. Harry must've been busy.

HARRY:

That's where you got the idea?

CHILI:

Part of it, yeah.

HARRY:

Wait a minute, you're not the guy, are you? The dry cleaner?

CHILI:

You mean, Leo?

HARRY:

You wouldn't be talking to me if you were.

CHILI:

I'm not the guy, Harry.

HARRY:

But you work for the casino?

CHILI:

I'm out here looking for Leo. I just looked you up as a

favor to your dear friend, Dick Allen.

HARRY:

So you don't work for the casino?

KAREN:

Harry, for God's sake . . .

They both look at her.

KAREN:

He's the shylock.

She's staring at Chili again. Harry turns to him.

HARRY:

Is that right, that's what you do for a living?

CHILI:

What I did till recently.

(looking at Karen)

After I get done here I'll think about what I'm gonna do

next.

KAREN:

With your experience, you could always become an agent.

Right, Harry?

HARRY:

Yeah, that's what we need. More agents.

KAREN:

Well. I got an audition tomorrow.

HARRY:

No problem. You go on off to bed.

Karen looks at the two of them sitting there. Not about to

move.

KAREN:

What I'm saying, Harry, is I want you and your new buddy to

get out of my house.

HARRY:

Oh, yeah, sure.

CHILI:

Nice meeting you, Karen.

She just looks at him, turns and walks out. Chili watches

her go. Harry watches Chili, pours the last of the scotch

into Chili's glass . . .

HARRY:

I imagine in your line of work, there were times you had to

get rough, you know, say one of your customers stopped

paying.

CHILI:

They always paid.

Harry nods, thinks a moment, then . . .

HARRY:

You pack a gun?

CHILI:

Not really.

HARRY:

What does that mean?

CHILI:

Maybe a few times I have.

HARRY:

Ever shot anybody.

CHILI:

Once.

HARRY:

Really? You ever been arrested?

CHILI:

I've been picked up a couple times. Loan sharking.

Racketeering. But I was never convicted. I'm clean.

HARRY:

Racketeering, that covers a lot of ground, doesn't it?

Chili looks at him.

CHILI:

Why don't you get to the point, Harry? You want me to do

something for you.

EXT. FAY DEVOE'S HOUSE -- MORNING

As a Cadillac Eldorado pulls up out front and Ray Bones and

his man get out, check out the neighborhood . . .

RAY BONES:

Hi, I'm Ray, a friend of Chili Palmer's.

INT. FAY DEVOE'S HOUSE -- MORNING

Fay watches as Ray Bones and his man go through her things.

RAY BONES:

Have your spoken to Mr. Palmer since your husband . . . you

know, blew up?

FAY:

Maybe once or twice.

RAY BONES:

(coming over)

What was it you talked about?

FAY:

Oh, nothing really? This and that.

Ray Bones hits Fay Devoe in the face. She drops to her knees

and cries out. Ray Bones crouches down in front of her, puts

a hand in her hair.

RAY BONES:

Fay . . .

(pulls her head up)

Fay.

She looks at him. Afraid now, her nose is bleeding. Ray

Bones smiles at her, strokes her hair.

RAY BONES:

Fay, I want us to be friends. And friends don't hit each

other, 'less they have to.

(she nods)

So whatta you say we start all over and you tell me exactly

what the f*** is goin' on?

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD -- MORNING

As we BOOM DOWN from a massive billboard for the movie

Bonaparte starring Martin Weir as Napoleon and begin

tracking with Harry's eight-year-old, battered Mercedes . .

.

INT. HARRY'S CAR -- SAME TIME

Harry drives, all the while gesturing with a lit cigarette.

HARRY:

These guys, my investors, they run a limo service, came to

me originally, put money in a few of my pictures and did

okay, they're happy. So they come in on another deal -- this

was back a few months ago when I was planning what would be

my next picture, about this band of killer circus freaks

that travel around the country leaving bodies in their wake.

The characters, there's this seven-hundred-pound fat lady

who has a way of seducing guys, gets them in her trailer --

CHILI:

Harry, look at me.

Harry looks at him. Chili takes away his cigarette.

CHILI:

You're trying to tell me how you f***ed up without sounding

stupid, and that's hard to do. Let's just get to where

you're at, okay? You blew the two hundred grand the limo

guys gave you in Vegas on a basketball game and you haven't

told 'em about it. Why not?

HARRY:

Because they're not the type of guys would take it with any

degree of understanding or restraint. The first thing they'd

do is break my legs.

CHILI:

You got that on the brain, Harry. If you're so scared of 'em

why'd you take their money to Vegas to begin with?

HARRY:

Because I need half a million to buy a script.

CHILI:

For a movie?

HARRY:

A blockbuster. But quality. No mutants or maniacs. This

one's gonna be my Driving Miss Daisy.

CHILI:

What's it called?

HARRY:

Mr. Lovejoy.

CHILI:

Mr. Lovejoy? That's the title?

HARRY:

It's not bad when you know what it's about.

Harry pulls to the curb, faces Chili . . .

HARRY:

Murray Saffrin, guy who wrote it, did all my Grotesque

pictures, had it in a drawer for twenty years. He shows it

to me one day, tells me he's got a star interested, would I

produce it.

CHILI:

Who's the star?

Harry points arross the street to the Cafe Med where we see

a RED FERRARI convertible parked out the front. We see

MARTIN WEIR and a WOMAN with jet-black hair sitting at a

table . . .

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