Get Shorty Page #6

HARRY:

Two time academy award nominee, Martin Weir.

CHILI:

Martin Weir. He played the mob guy that turned snitch in The

Cyclone.

HARRY:

One of his best parts.

CHILI:

No, his best part was the cripple gay guy that climbed Mt.

Whitney.

HARRY:

Ride the Clouds. Good picture.

They watch Martin and the girl a moment . . .

CHILI:

She looks familiar.

HARRY:

She's a rock star. Every day, same time, they come down here

and have breakfast. He has the egg white omelette; she has

the banana pancakes. He sits facing west so he can see his

billboard. She faces east so she has an excuse to wear the

shades.

Harry pulls out, starts driving again . . .

HARRY:

Anyway, Murray has this shrink, who also happens to be

Martin's personal trainer's shrink. Murray gives the shrink

the script and the shrink gives it to Martin's trainer who

reads it to Martin while they work out, and Martin flips.

Loves it.

CHILI:

So what's the problem?

HARRY:

The problem is Murray. He and a few other blocked

screenwriters went river rafting down the Kern a few weeks

ago. Murray never made it back.

CHILI:

He drown?

HARRY:

Heart attack. Apparently they brought a couple hookers

along.

Chili nods, looks up at an ANGELYNE billboard . . .

HARRY:

Doris, Murray's widow, finds out about this Martin Weir

thing and says since Murray and I never had any written

contract, she wants five hundred grand for the script.

CHILI:

So you're thinking what if I was to put you next to my dry

cleaner. Ask him if he wants to invest his money in a movie.

HARRY:

That, or I'm thinking what if some tragic accident were to

befall the widow Saffrin --

CHILI:

I'm not gonna pop her, Harry.

HARRY:

Just a thought.

CHILI:

But I could talk to the limo guys. Tell 'em to leave you

alone for a while. Make the point in a way they'd understand

it.

HARRY:

You don't even know these guys.

CHILI:

Harry, I probably know 'em better than you do.

HARRY:

What do you get out of this?

CHILI:

Let's see how we get along.

EXT. PARKING LOT -- DAY

BO CATLETT, black, tall, put together in a tan outfit

suit, shirt, tie, lies on the hood of a BLACK STRETCH LIMO,

his back against the windshield, reading Daily Variety, a

headline proclaiming 'BONAPARTE STANDS TALL AT THE B. O.' We

hear the sonud of an AIRPLANE and he checks his watch.

He casually folds the newspaper as a 747 screams past

directly overhead and we . . .

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

LAX -- DAY

As Bo Catlett pounds twice on the fender . . .

BO CATLETT:

That's us.

INT. SOVEREIGN TERMINAL -- DAY

Bo Catlett walks through the terminal. We hear the arrival

of the Miami flight annonnced over the PA as Catlett stops

at one of the gates.

We see a plane pulling into the gate through the glass as Bo

Catlett checks out the other people waiting to greet the

flight . . .

Like, for example, the YOUNG DUDE in jeans and a wool shirt

hanging out.

Bo Catlett studies him a moment, then sits down in one of

the chairs. He looks over at . . .

A BIG MAN, bearded, wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt, and

carrying a three-year-old GIRL in his arms. The girl licks

an ice-cream, spilling some on Daddy's shirt . . .

Bo Catlett looks over as disembarking PASSENGERS start

coming through the gate.

As a LATINO MAN gets off the plane and glances around. He

looks uncomfortable in the loose-fitting suit, like a

migrant dressed for Saturday night.

The Latino Man lays his TICKET ENVELOPE on top of the trash

container near the gateway . . .

INSERT -- TICKET ENVELOPE

The name Y. PORTILLO printed on the outside. The big man

with the little girl picks up the ticket and walks away.

As the LATINO MAN heads straight for Bo Catlett.

BO CATLETT:

Don't say nothing to me. Sit down and act like you're

waiting for somebody supposed to meet you.

LATINO MAN:

The fock you taking about . . .

Hitting the word hard, like Tony Montana in Scarface.

LATINO MAN:

They nobody know me here, man. Give me the focking money.

BO CATLETT:

Sit down. Now be looking. Man over to your right in the blue

wool shirt hanging out . . . the other way, derecho . . .

Bo Catlett hunches over to rest his arms on his thighs, so

that the Latino Man is now between him and the dude in the

wool shirt.

BO CATLETT:

That's a federal officer, most likely DEA. He moves his leg

look for the bulge. You savvy bulge? That's his backup piece

. . . Hey. Try it without looking right at him if you can.

The Latino Man, trying to be cool about it, checks out the

dude in the wool shirt. Sure enough, there's a bulge down

near the guy's ankle.

BO CATLETT:

What's your name?

LATINO MAN:

(nervous now)

Yayo. Portillo.

BO CATLETT:

Alright, Yayo, you know he's there, now forget about him.

Now I'm gonna get up. Soon as I'm gone, you sit down in this

same seat I'm in. You feel something under your ass it's the

key to a locker where your half a million is. Along with

some product we're returning

Nervous now, Yayo is staring at the guy with the wool shirt.

YAYO:

You suppose to give me the focking money yourself.

Bo Catlett gets up, adjusts his suit jacket, smoothing the

long roll lapel.

BO CATLETT:

Try to be cool Yahoo. I told you where it is. Do it how I

told you and have a safe trip home. Or as you all say, vaya

con Dios, motherf***er.

Bo Catlett walks off, leaving Yayo sitting there, confused

now, not quite sure what to do.

CLOSE ON HAND HOLDING TICKET ENVELOPE

The name Y. PORTILLO written on the jacket.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

BAGGAGE CLAIM -- DAY

Where the Big Man in the Hawaiian shirt waits by the

carousel. His LITTLE GIRL HOLDS THE TICKET ENVELOPE. The man

grabs a case from the carousel and walks to the door. He

tears the baggage claim stub from the envelope and hands it

to the SECURITY GUARD.

EXT. BAGGAGE CLAIM -- DAY

As the Big Man and the little girl walk to the black stretch

parked at the curb, RONNIE WINGATE, an aging surfer in a

suede jacket and running shoes, holds the door open for

them.

RONNIE:

Like f***ing clockwork, eh Bear?

BEAR/BIG MAN

Don't cuss in front of Farrah.

The Bear hands the case to Bo Catlett who sits in the back

of the limo . . .

GIRL:

Hi, Bo.

BO CATLETT:

How you doing, sweetie?

As Ronnie gets in back with Bo Catlett, The Bear puts his

daughter in a toddler seat up front, then gets behind the

wheel.

GIRL:

Here we go!

EXT. HARRY'S OFFICE -- DAY

Two stories, part of a block of white store fronts on Sunset

near La Cienega.

INT. HARRY'S OFFICE -- DAY

Light filters through venetian blinds, illuminating a desk

stacked with folders, magazines, scripts, papers, unopened

mail, hotel ashtrays, a brass lamp, a clock and two

telephones.

HARRY:

I once asked this literary agent what type of writing

brought the most money and the agent says, 'Ransom notes.'

Chili stands looking over some of the old photographs as

Harry goes through the mess on the desk. There are some of

Karen, Harry with a much youger, blonde Karen. Harry with

giant bugs, Harry shaking hands with mutants and maniacs,

and so on.

HARRY:

Here it is . . . Mr. Lovejoy.

Harry hands a script to Chili. Chili examines the cover, the

first time he's ever held a movie script. He opens it to the

middle . . .

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