Ghost World Page #4

ENID:

That was a popular dish in the 50's,

huh Weird Al?

AL:

I imagine so! Also, we have a spinach

tortellini in a ricotta sauce. Both

of those are $6.95... shall I give

you a few minutes to mull it over?

ENID:

I just want an order of onion rings.

REBECCA:

I might actually get the pasta

special.

ENID:

You loser!

AL:

Pasta special and an order of onion

rings. Very good.

Al leaves.

ENID:

Did you notice all those weird things

on the menu? Like "The Salad

Explosion"?

REBECCA:

I know... and instead of "dessert"

it says "Mindbenders."

ENID:

What does that even mean?

INT. WOWSVILLE DINER - TEN MINUTES LATER

Enid spots an abandoned newspaper, THE FREE WEEKLY, on the

adjoining table.

REBECCA:

Check out the Personals... maybe our

future husbands are trying to contact

us.

ENID:

God, this paper is so boring. Who

reads all this sh*t?

(flips through it

until she gets to

the Personals)

Here we go...

(reading)

"Windsurfing Doctor, Mensan IQ,

maverick Sagittarius. Let's hit the

clubs, make each other laugh!"

REBECCA:

You can have that one.

ENID:

Okay, well here's yours...

(reading)

"Who said all the most eligible

bachelors are taken? Not this one!

Stunning bod, very snugglelicious

ocean sunset dreamer."

REBECCA:

Gross.

Al returns with their food.

AL:

Can I get you ladies anything else,

or are you all set?

ENID:

Later I might be interested in one

of those far-out "mindbenders."

Al leaves. Enid goes back to the paper.

ENID:

Jesus! Listen to this one: "Do you

remember me? Airport shuttle, June

7th. You:
striking redhead with yellow

dress, pearl necklace, brown shoes.

I was the bookish fellow in the green

cardigan who helped you find your

contact lens. Am I crazy, or did we

have a moment?"

REBECCA:

God, that's so pathetic. I bet she

didn't even notice him.

ENID:

I know. And he's like psychotically

obsessing over every little detail.

REBECCA:

We should call him and pretend to be

the redhead.

ENID:

Oh, we totally have to.

Enid tears out the ad and puts it in her sketchbook.

CU of sketchbook.

INT. OOMIE'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING

Enid and Rebecca sit with Rebecca's grandmother OOMIE in her

living room. They eat TV dinners while watching Oomie's

favorite TV SHOW, which we hear but don't see.

NASAL-VOICED GIRL (V.O.)

So what happened next, Donna?

DONNA (DUMB BLONDE'S V.O.)

Then I told him he'd better take out

his hose and pump me!

NASAL-VOICED GIRL/ANOTHER GIRL (V.O.)

Don-na?!

DONNA (V.O.)

You guys! My car was out of gas!

LAUGH TRACK. Enid leans toward Rebecca.

ENID:

(whispers)

Does Oomie really like this show?

REBECCA:

(whispers)

Isn't it weird? It's her favorite.

OOMIE:

Girls! Shh!

Enid and Rebecca exit.

INT. REBECCA'S ROOM - EVENING

Rebecca looks through Enid's sketchbook while Enid fiddles

with the remote, fast-forwarding through a tape in the VCR.

REBECCA:

So what should we do?

ENID:

Wait... I just want to see what's on

this tape.

REBECCA:

What is this?

ENID:

I dunno. John Ellis always puts on

all this sick stuff that I have to

fast-forward past to get to the good

stuff. There's supposed to be a Don

Knotts movie on here someplace.

Sound of FAST-FORWARDING. Rebecca glances up from the

sketchbook.

REBECCA:

Wait, what is that?

Enid stops fast-forwarding. We don't see the screen but we

hear weird sounds like BOOTS WALKING THROUGH DEEP MUD.

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