Ghost World Page #5

ENID & REBECCA

EEEEWWWW!

Enid lurches forward to avert her gaze. She clicks off the

VCR, but leaves the TV on. She notices a PHOTO ALBUM on a

bookshelf under the television.

ENID:

Hey - why do you have this?

REBECCA:

You lent it to me in like tenth grade.

ENID:

I've been looking all over for this.

ANGLE ON ALBUM as she leafs through it. We see a picture of

a FIVE-YEAR-OLD ENID with glasses.

ENID:

Look at how cute I am!

REBECCA:

What a little hosebag.

ANGLE ON PHOTO of ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD ENID & REBECCA at a party.

ENID:

Look, that's back when I hated you.

REBECCA:

I remember every minute of that party.

ENID:

(another page)

There's my dad with Joanie.

REBECCA:

I can never keep them all straight -

was she the super-b*tch?

ENID:

No, she was the second wife. The

third one was the super-b*tch -

Maxine.

(finds a picture)

There! Look at her!

ANGLE ON PHOTO of MAXINE.

ENID:

What a f***ing monster!

Something on TV catches Rebecca's eye.

REBECCA:

Oh my God! This is that comedian I

was telling you about! You have to

see this guy -- he's the absolute

worst!

A dead-pan comedian, JOEY McCOBB, is doing his stand-up

routine in a standard brick-wall comedy venue. He has a

contrived "I'm a weirdo" shtick.

JOEY:

Just because I live with my mother

people think I'm peculiar... so what

if she's been dead for fifteen years!

Hehn hehn...

(Peter Lorre laugh)

REBECCA (V.O.)

God, that's barely even a joke.

JOEY:

As I always say, take my life...

please!

ENID (V.O.)

If he's supposed to be so weird, how

come he's wearing Nikes?

ANNOUNCER:

Joey McCobb, ladies and gentlemen...

Joey McCobb!

(APPLAUSE)

ENID:

Joey McCobb is our God.

REBECCA:

I want to do him!

ENID:

I bet! Actually he reminds me of

that one creep you went out with --

you always go for guys with some

lame, fake shtick.

REBECCA:

What are you talking about -- who?

ENID:

That Larry guy -- what look was he

going for? A gay tennis player from

the forties?

REBECCA:

F*** you!

Rebecca turns the page of Enid's sketchbook to the torn-out

personal ad.

REBECCA:

Hey! We forgot to call the loser!

ENID:

Which loser?

REBECCA:

You know, the green cardigan guy.

ENID:

Oh yeah.

Rebecca goes to the phone and offers the receiver.

REBECCA:

You call.

ENID:

Why do I always have to do it?

REBECCA:

You're better at it.

ENID:

(as she dials)

I remember when I first started

reading these I thought DWF stood

for "dwarf!"

REBECCA:

(ear up to phone)

What does it stand for?

ENID:

Shh, it's his answering machine...

(pause)

We hear the indistinct traces of a

musical message followed by a faint

BEEP.

ENID:

Hi, it's me - your "striking blonde."

Of course I remember you. Let's get

together for lunch sometime... How

about Friday at one o'clock?... Why

don't you meet me at my favorite

restaurant, "Wowsville"... It's in

the mall on Century Parkway... I'll

see you there, darling... and be

sure to wear that sexy green

cardigan...

As Enid hangs up they both start laughing.

EXT. SIDEWINDER - DAY

A franchise convenience store with a western motif.

INT. SIDEWINDER - DAY

JOSH, 19, is taking his apron off as his BOSS, a humorless

Greek immigrant, counts out the cash register. Cheerful Muzak

plays.

BOSS:

AH AH AH! What you think you doing?

You still got five minutes left on

you shift!

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