Ghostbusters

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So, the Aldridge Mansion is the only

19th century home in New York City

preserved both inside and out.

At the time of its construction,

it was one of the most

elegant homes in existence.

Um, interesting fact.

This grandfather clock was on the Titanic

and was saved by Sir Aldridge.

A Romanian woman and her child were

forced to leave the lifeboat to make room.

Uh, over here,

you can imagine Sir Aldridge

entertaining his wealthy guests.

It's said that, in this very room, P.T. Barnum

first had the idea to enslave elephants.

And if you'll follow me...

Now, I'm gonna tell you

something a little spooky.

On the morning of October 25th, 1894,

Sir Aldridge awoke, furious,

when his breakfast was not waiting for him.

So he called to his servants,

but none of them responded.

Why?

Because, during the night, one by one,

they had each been stabbed to death

in their sleep.

It was later discovered

they were murdered by his eldest daughter,

Gertrude Aldridge.

Sir Aldridge once wrote in his diary,

"I know God makes no mistakes,

"but I believe he may have been drunk

when he built Gertrude's personality."

Now, to spare the family public humiliation,

instead of turning her in to the police,

they locked her in this basement.

And they fed her...

...through this slot.

Years later, when a new owner moved in,

they dug out her remains.

But, after repeatedly hearing strange sounds,

he sealed it shut.

That's right.

No one has opened this door since then.

Okay.

Follow me.

Maybe steer clear of the door.

Sorry, Sir Aldridge. I got to get out of here!

Oh, Garret, you idiot.

No.

No.

No!No!No!

No! No!

No!

Daniel. Teresa.

Dr. Roberts. Robert, hello.

- Erin, sweetheart. Hi.

- Hello, Phil.

- Good morning, Jack.

- Hi.

- Did you hear the news?

- Tell me.

I'm lecturing in the big hall today.

- Darling, that's wonderful.

- I know.

- This is what you're wearing?

- What?

I have someone I want you to meet.

Phyllis, I would like to introduce Erin Gilbert.

She specializes in

theoretical particle physics.

I'm a huge fan.

This is such an honor to meet you.

Phyllis is guest lecturing

in Daniels' astrophysics and cosmology.

Wow.

Erin just learned she's being published.

Yes, well, I'm very proud.

I don't allow my lab

to submit to journals anymore.

I think journals tamper with the process

and ultimately hurt scientific research.

Yeah. It's like when scientists get caught up,

you know, in those dumb awards.

- You know...

- Oh, awards are massively important.

Yes, no, I was saying

it'd be dumb not to go after awards,

'cause that's where science really shines.

It's, unfortunately, the only way

to draw attention to good science.

- Excellent point.

- Mmm-hmm.

All right. I should be going.

Hey, Simon.

Well, I'm going to lecture right now

in the big hall.

It's good that it's big, too, 'cause I've got

a lot of big ideas I'm going to be spreading.

Hey, good luck on your tenure review.

Make me proud.

Fingers crossed.

Not that crossing your fingers

means anything, 'cause it doesn't.

Oh, I couldn't disagree more.

It's been proven that superstitions

can have tremendous performance benefits.

Exactly. I'm wrong about everything.

All right. Well, I'm gonna try to get out

of here without stepping on these cracks.

I don't want my mom calling me, like...

Oh, see, when they change direction,

you've got to...

So, you know her?

Oh! Ding dong.

Yeah.

Sean, that is an excellent question.

As you can see from my calculations,

we will soon be able to combine

general relativity and quantum theory.

Teaching in the big hall. Big day.

Big hall. Big hall. Big hall!

Big hall!

Sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak to you

about something you wrote.

Um...

I'm sorry. Uh, yes. What, um...

What publication?

I'm talking about your book.

Mmm...

Book. Um...

I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

my class will be here any minute.

You're Erin Gilbert, right?

Co-author of Ghosts from Our Past:

Both Literally and Figuratively:

The Study of the Paranormal?

I think you're looking for

a different Erin Gilbert.

One that likes very long titles.

Okay. But this really does look like you.

What? No.

Yeah, that's me.

Look, it was a very long time ago,

and it was just a gag

between a couple of friends.

I'm sorry.

A 460-page gag?

The first sentence is, "This is not a joke."

What do you want?

Well, I'm Ed Mulgrave.

I'm the historian at the Aldridge Mansion,

and I believe it's haunted.

If you could just come take a look.

I tried the police, but I just sound crazy.

I'm sorry.

That book you're holding is utter nonsense.

I don't even know how you got that.

I thought I burned both copies.

It's on Amazon. Both hard copy and e-book.

- What?

- It's on Books on Tape, too.

Only, I know how to read.

Is it now?

No!

No, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna kill you, Abby.

- Oh.

- Erin.

Hi! Oh, Dr. Filmore. Hello, hi.

We're set for the final review

of your tenure case on Thursday.

Great.

But I saw that you had

a recommendation letter

from Dr. Branum at Princeton.

- Uh...

- Their science department

is really not what it used to be.

And I would consider getting a referral

from a more prestigious college.

More prestigious than Princeton?

Yes.

Um, hmm.

You see, I think you're an asset

to modern physics,

but I would hate to see you

throw it down the drain.

No. No, no, no, sir.

I won't throw it down the drain.

And I will get on that letter.

Yes. Princeton. More like Prince-tons

of dummies go there.

About your clothes...

Yes? Did you...

Uh...

Too sexy for academia?

Never mind.

No, no, no. What is it?

- Never mind!

- I don't...

Abby. You promised you wouldn't do this.

"Abigail continues her passion

for the study of the paranormal

"at the Kenneth P. Higgins

Institute of Science."

Come on, F7!

Are you kidding me?

Hello?

I've been waiting a long time.

Has been a while, hasn't it?

Hope you brought me more than one wonton.

Excuse me? Oh.

Huh.

Well, well, well.

Erin.

Abby.

Bennie.

Yes, I know who you are, Bennie. Can I just...

Can I have my lunch

that I've been waiting an hour for?

You know they make

smaller headphones now, right?

It's an advance in science.

Thank you for asking.

Probably the future you're looking at.

Here you go.

Why don't you show Miss Gilbert to the door.

Oh, it's just the same door we came in from.

- Yeah, I know how to get out. It's figurative.

- It's really not that hard.

- No, I'm okay.

- Don't.

- I tried.

- Poorly.

You put our book online

without my permission.

I don't need your permission.

Of course you need my permission.

I wrote that book with you.

My name is on it.

No. Absolutely not.

That book is a whole new

revenue stream for me.

And I'm, like, one-tenth away from

getting a new mini fridge in here.

Look, I am up for tenure right now.

Ooh, "I'm up for tenure."

And if my colleagues at Columbia University

Google my name,

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