Ghostbusters Page #2

RAY:

Look!

EGON:

This is hot, Ray.

RAY:

Symmetrical book stacking, just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.

PETER:

You're right. No human being would stack books like this.

RAY:

Listen!

eerie music

You smell something?

they go to a card catalog; it is slimed

Talk about telekinetic activity! Look at this mess!

EGON:

Raymond, look at this.

RAY:

Ectoplasmic residue.

EGON:

Venkman, get a sample of this.

RAY:

It's the real thing!

PETER:

Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?

EGON:

I'd like to analyze it.

As RAY and EGON continue talking, PETER scrapes slime into a dish. Gets it all over his hands. Groans and grunts. Flicks slime away. Wipes hands and feet on books.

RAY:

There's more over here!

EGON:

I'm getting stronger readings here, this way.

RAY:

Come on.

They turn a corner. PETER gives EGON slime.

PETER:

Egon, your mucus.

a bookshelf falls with a crash

This happen to you before?

RAY shakes head

Oh, first time?

RAY nods. They continue. EGON's PKE meter goes nuts. They see LIBRARY GHOST.

EGON:

It's here.

RAY:

A full torso apparition, and it's real.

PETER:

So what do we do?

no answer

Could you come over here and talk to me for a second, please?

pulls RAY by the ear

Could you just come over here for a second, please? Right over here. Come here, Francine! Come here. What do we do?

RAY:

I don't know. What do you think?

EGON starts with calculator, but PETER slaps it away

PETER:

Stop that!

RAY:

We've got to make contact. One of us should actually try to speak to it.

EGON:

Good idea.

They look to PETER. He groans and goes to the ghost. RAY starts taking pictures.

PETER:

Hello. I'm Peter. Where are you from? Originally.

LIBRARY GHOST:

Ssh.

PETER:

going back

All right. Okay, the usual stuff isn't working.

RAY:

Okay, I have a plan. I know exactly what to do. Now stay close, stay close. I know. Do exactly as I say. Ready, ready, get her!

LIBRARY GHOST turns into a monster and scares them. They run away. Music: Cleanin' Up The Town.

Outside New York Public Library

PETER, RAY and EGON run away.

LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR

Did you see it? What was it?

PETER:

We'll get back to you!

LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR

What?!

Columbia University grounds

PETER, RAY and EGON go back to the lab. PETER is laughing at RAY.

PETER:

Hee, hee, hee! Get her. That was your whole plan. Get her. It was scientific.

RAY:

I just got overexcited. But wasn't it incredible, Pete? I mean, we actually touched the etheric plane. You know what this could mean to the university?

PETER:

Yeah, it's gonna be bigger than the microchip. Ray, I'm very excited.

EGON:

working with calculator

I wouldn't say the experience was totally wasted. According to these new readings, I think we have an excellent chance of actually catching a ghost and holding it indefinitely.

RAY:

Well, this is great! If this ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads! In a spiritual sense, of course.

PETER:

Spengs? You serious about this catching a ghost?

EGON:

I'm always serious.

PETER:

Egon, I'm gonna take back some of the things I've said about you. You... you've earned it.

gives EGON a candy bar

Their lab

Moving men cart stuff out of the room. DEAN YEAGER stands in wait. Music: I Can Wait Forever.

RAY:

The possibilities are, are limitless! Hey, Dean Yeager!

PETER:

I trust you're moving us to better quarters on campus.

DEAN YEAGER:

No! You're being moved off campus. The board of regents has decided to terminate your grant. You are to vacate these premises immediately.

PETER:

This is preposterous. I demand an explanation.

DEAN YEAGER:

Fine. The university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities.

PETER:

But the kids love us!

DEAN YEAGER:

Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of dodge or hustle. Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable. You, Dr. Venkman, are a poor scientist.

PETER:

I see.

DEAN YEAGER:

And you have no place in this department or in this university.

Outside Columbia University

RAY is worriedly pacing. PETER is relaxing with a bottle.

RAY:

This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn't touch us with a ten-meter cattle-prod.

PETER:

You're always so concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk!

RAY:

You know how much a patent clerk earns?

PETER:

No!

RAY:

Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities. We didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector. They expect results.

PETER:

For whatever reasons, Ray, call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown out of this dump.

RAY:

For what purpose?

PETER:

To go into business for ourselves.

Offers RAY a drink. RAY drinks.

RAY:

This ecto-containment system that Spengler and I have in mind is going to require a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we going to get the money?

PETER:

I don't know.

drinks

I don't know.

Outside Manhattan City Bank

The three come out of the bank. Fanfare.

PETER:

You're never going to regret this, Ray!

RAY:

My parents left me that house! I was born there!

PETER:

You're not going to lose the house. Everybody has three mortgages nowadays.

RAY:

But at nineteen percent! You didn't even bargain with the guy!

EGON:

flashing a calculator

Ray, for your information, the interest rate alone for the first five years comes to $95,000.

PETER:

Will you guys relax? We are on the threshold of establishing the indispensable defense science of the next decade. Professional paranormal investigations and eliminations. The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams.

Outside Hook and Ladder No. 8

The building's windows are whitewashed. We hear REAL ESTATE AGENT talking.

Inside Hook and Ladder No. 8

REAL ESTATE WOMAN shows PETER and EGON the fire house.

REAL ESTATE WOMAN

There's office space, sleeping quarters and showers on the next floor and a full kitchen on the top left.

PETER:

It just seems a little pricey for a unique fixer-upper opportunity, that's all. What do you think, Egon?

EGON:

I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.

RAY:

calling to them from upstairs

Hey! Does this pole still work?

slides down the fire pole

Wow! This place is great! When can we move in? You've got to try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff.

runs up stairs

Hey, we should stay here tonight. Sleep here! You know, to try it out!

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