Ghostbusters Page #4

PETER:

They hate this. I like to torture them. That's right, boys. It's Dr. Venkman!

works a tool

A lot of space. Just you?

DANA:

Yes.

PETER:

Good.

DANA:

What is that thing you're doing?

PETER:

It's technical. It's one of our little toys.

DANA:

I see. That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.

PETER:

What a crime.

DANA:

You know, you don't act like a scientist.

PETER:

They're usually pretty stiff.

DANA:

You're more like a game show host.

The words sting PETER.

PETER:

That's the kitchen, huh?

DANA's kitchen

PETER:

Dana, are these the eggs?

DANA:

Yes, see, I was over there, and the eggs just jumped right out of their shells and started to cook right on the counter.

PETER:

That is weird.

DANA:

And that's when I to hear that awful noise from the refrigerator.

PETER starts using his tool again

Dr. Venkman, you've come all this way. Would you like to examine the refrigerator?

PETER:

I'll check the fridge. Good call. Oh, my God!

DANA is worried

Look at all the junk food!

DANA:

No, God damn it! Look, this wasn't here.

PETER:

You actually eat this stuff?

DANA:

Look! This wasn't here! There was nothing here! There was a space, and there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and creatures riding around and they were growling and snarling! And there were flames! And I heard a voice say Zuul! It was right here!

PETER:

I'm sorry, I'm just not getting any reading.

DANA:

Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly?

PETER:

Well, I think so. But I'm sure there are no animals in there.

DANA:

Well, that's great. Either there's a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.

PETER:

I don't think you're crazy.

DANA:

sarcastically

Good, that makes me feel so much better.

DANA's living room

PETER:

Let me tell you something about myself. I come home from work to my place and all I have is my work. There's nothing else in my life!

DANA:

Dr. Venkman -

PETER:

I meet you, and I say, my God, there's someone with the same problem I have!

DANA:

Yes. We both have the same problem. You!

PETER:

I'm gonna go for broke. I am madly in love with you.

DANA:

I don't believe this. Will you please leave?

PETER:

to an invisible audience

And then she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a creep, she thought I was a geek and she probably wasn't the first...

DANA:

You are so odd... No.

PETER:

turning around

I've got it!

DANA:

No, no, no, no, no.

PETER:

I'll prove myself to you!

DANA:

guiding him out

That's not necessary.

PETER:

Yeah. I'll solve your little problem.

DANA:

Okay...

PETER:

And then you'll say, "Pete Venkman's a guy who can get things done!"

DANA:

Right.

PETER:

"I wonder what makes him tick!"

DANA:

I wonder!

PETER:

"I wonder if he'd be interested in knowing what makes me tick?"

DANA:

Right!

PETER:

I bet you're going to be thinking about me after I'm gone.

DANA:

I bet I am!

Pushes him out the door. He sticks his face back in.

PETER:

No kiss?

pushes his face out door and slams it shut

Corridor

LOUIS comes out, then tries to go back in, but he's locked himself out. PETER leaves.

Outside Ghostbusters HQ

Night.

Inside Ghostbusters HQ; upstairs

The Ghostbusters dine on takeout Chinese. Music: In The Name Of Love.

PETER:

To our first customer.

RAY:

To our first and only customer.

They toast with soda cans.

PETER:

I got to take out some petty cash. We should take her out to dinner. We don't want to lose her.

RAY:

Uh, this magnificent feast here represents the last of the petty cash.

PETER:

Slow down. Chew your food.

By JANINE's desk

Phone rings.

JANINE:

Hello, Ghostbusters. Yes, of course they're serious. - You do? You have? No kidding?... Uh-huh. Well, just give me the address. Yes, of course. Oh, they'll be totally discreet. Thank you.

hangs up

We got one!

slams down alarm bell

Upstairs

RAY:

It's a call!

Music:
Cleanin' Up The Town. They slide down the fire pole.

Downstairs

They slide down the fire pole and suit up.

RAY:

Come on!

Outside Ghostbusters HQ

Ecto-1 drives off wildly.

Outside Sedgewick Hotel

Ecto-1 drives up. Close-up on Ghostbusters logo.

Lobby of Sedgewick Hotel

The Ghostbusters enter.

PETER:

Hey, anybody seen a ghost?

A pretty lady goes by. They all stare appreciatively.

HOTEL MANAGER:

Thank you for coming so quickly! The guests are starting to ask questions and I'm running out of excuses.

RAY:

Has it happened before?

HOTEL MANAGER:

Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor; the disturbances, I mean. But it's been quiet for years! Up until two weeks ago. It was never, ever this bad, though!

EGON:

Did you ever report it to anyone?

HOTEL MANAGER:

Heavens! No!

PETER:

Oh, no. You kidding?

HOTEL MANAGER:

The owners don't even like us to talk about it. I hope we can take care of this. Quietly! Tonight!

RAY:

Yes sir, don't worry. We handle this kind of thing all the time!

they go up to an elevator

MAN AT ELEVATOR:

What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?

PETER:

No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve.

MAN AT ELEVATOR:

That's gotta be some cockroach.

PETER:

Bite your head off, man.

elevator arrives

RAY:

Going up?

MAN AT ELEVATOR:

I'll take the next one.

Elevator

RAY:

You know, it just occurred to me, we haven't had a completely successful test of this equipment.

EGON:

I blame myself.

PETER:

So do I.

RAY:

No sense worrying about it now.

PETER:

Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

RAY:

Yep. Let's get ready. Switch me on!

EGON charges RAY's proton pack, then backs away

Twelth floor

The Ghostbusters exit the elevator. EGON charges his proton pack.

RAY:

Come on.

CHAMBERMAID enters. RAY and EGON shout and blast her cart with proton beams.

PETER:

Hold it!

CHAMBERMAID:

What the hell are you doing?

EGON:

Sorry.

PETER:

Sorry.

RAY:

I'm sorry.

PETER:

We thought you were someone else. Successful test.

RAY:

I guess so. I think we'd better split up.

EGON:

Good idea.

PETER:

Yeah, we can do more damage that way.

EGON goes down a hallway, with his PKE meter.

RAY walks around, smoking. Sees Slimer pigging out at a room service cart. Is shocked. Cigarette falls out of his mouth.

RAY:

Venkman! Venkman! Ugh... disgusting blob! I'm going to have to hold it myself...

Charges pack, aims and fires. Startles Slimer. He flies through the wall. Cart smashes a table and a vase.

EGON pokes a man to see if he's a ghost.

PETER sees Slimer. Talks into walkie-talkie.

PETER:

Come in, Ray.

RAY:

unhooking walkie-talkie

Venkman! I saw it! I saw it! I saw it!

PETER:

It's right here, Ray. It's looking at me.

RAY:

voice over walkie-talkie

He's an ugly little spud, isn't he?

PETER:

I think he can hear you, Ray.

RAY:

voice over walkie-talkie

Don't move. It won't hurt you.

Slimer flies towards PETER. PETER screams and covers face. RAY runs to help.

Venkman! Venkman! Pete!

RAY arrives. Slimer is gone. PETER is dripping in slime.

Venkman! What happened? Are you okay?

PETER:

spitting out slime

He slimed me.

RAY:

That's great! Actual physical contact! Can you move?

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