Gigi Page #3

The Parisians!

l don't understand the Parisians!

When it's warm

They take a carriage ride at night

Close their eyes and hug and kiss

When it's cold

They simply move inside at night

There must be more to life than this

I don 't understand the Parisians

Thinking love so miraculous and grand

But they rave about it

And won 't live without it

I don 't understand

The Parisians!

Stop.

What are you doing there?

Gaston. . .

. . .do you make love all the time?

l beg your pardon?

-Do you make love all the time?

-Heavens, no.

The only people who make love

all the time are liars.

Was that the subject

of your lesson today?

-How did you know l was having a lesson?

-l just came from your house.

Too bad l wasn't there. We could've

played cards, and l could've beaten you.

But you cheat.

l can, but with you,

l don't have to.

You watch your tongue, my girl.

-l'm not your girl.

-Thank you for that.

lf l have a little girl, l'll see

to it she's more respectful than you.

-Come with me.

-Where?

-To the lce Palace.

-l don't skate.

-l'll buy you a drink.

-l don't drink.

-A sweet one.

-Are you going to skate?

No, but l'm calling

for Madame d'Exelmans.

Liane? Your lady love?

No, thank you.

l've had enough of that for today.

l'm not going to woo her on ice.

Come along before l spank you.

You wouldn't dare!

Oh, l wouldn't, eh?

Sit down.

Sit down.

Haven't you ever seen

an ice rink?

Never.

Grandmama says going out distracts one

from more serious matters.

A barbotage for the lady.

-What's that?

-Quiet.

Champagne for me. Well-iced.

Yes, Monsieur Lachaille.

ls that the scandalous

Madame d'Exelmans?

Yes, that's she.

Tell me, Gigi, the way

you express yourself. . .

. . .does your grandmother

ever hear you talk this way?

She never listens to me much.

Which reminds me, she mustn't know

l was here with you.

And why not?

What's wrong with being with me?

lt isn't you. lt's here.

l told you.

This isn't serious matters.

And just what are serious matters?

l don't remember it all by heart.

One mustn't read novels;

they depress you.

Don't wear powder;

it ruins the complexion.

Don't wear corsets;

they spoil the figure.

What do you think of Liane?

She's pretty.

Yes, she is.

But. . . .

But what?

Common.

Common?

How do you mean ''common''?

Ordinary common or coarse common?

Ordinary.

And coarse. Well, l really must go.

Please come soon.

-Thank you for the drink.

-lt was a pleasure.

Hello, my darling.

You waltz divinely.

Thank you, my love.

l'll let you know

when l'll be in for my next lesson.

Yes, madame.

l thought we'd meet Honor

at Maxim's and--

Darling.

At Maxim's?

Thank you. . .monsieur.

Dreadful man.

You seem to have lessons

with him often enough.

He's an excellent teacher.

l made amazing progress.

But he's so conceited.

So superior in an inferior way.

l can't stand him.

Shall we go?

Gaston and Liane are joining me

here at Maxim's tonight.

l'm giving a small party. . .

. . .in honor of a heavenly creature

l met this afternoon.

She's--

Pardon me.

She's the sister

of the heavenly creature. . .

. . .l gave a party for last night.

What a marvelous place Maxim's is!

Not only gay and beautiful,

but in one thing unique:

ln Maxim's, everybody minds

his own business.

No one is the slightest bit interested

in whom one is with.

There's that wretched man

Louis de Latour

With his latest horrible amour

Isn 't she a mess

Isn 't she a sight

Let's invite them out tomorrow night

Honor Lachaille

Honor Lachaille

With another twinkle in his eye

Isn 't it a shame

Isn 't it a crime

Seeing him so happy all the time

There's Gaston Lachaille

With his little friend

Is that passion never going to end

Did you see her ring?

Not a bagatelle

Dear Liane is doing very well

She's a lovable one tonight, isn 't she?

What is she up to?

She's so gay tonight

She's like spring tonight

She's a rollicking

Frolicking thing tonight

So disarming

Soft and charming

She is not thinking of me

No, she's not thinking of me

In her eyes tonight

There's a glow tonight

They're so bright they could light

Fontainebleau tonight

She's so gracious

So vivacious

She is not thinking of me

Bless her little heart

Crooked to the core

Acting out a part

What a rollicking, frolicking bore!

She's such fun tonight

She's a treat tonight

You could spread her on bread

She's so sweet tonight

So devoted

Sugarcoated

That it's heartwarming to see

Oh, she's simmering with love

Oh, she's shimmering with love

Oh, she's not thinking of me

She is not thinking of me

Someone has set her on fire

Is it Jacques, is it Paul or Lon?

Who 's turning her furnace up higher?

Oh, she's hot

But it's not for Gaston!

Oh, she's gay tonight

Oh so gay tonight

A gigantic romantic clich tonight

How she blushes

How she gushes

How she fills me with ennui

She's so ooh la la la la

So untrue la la la la

Oh, she's not thinking of me

l knew she was up to something.

l knew it. There had to be

a reason for last night.

But what was l to do?

Trail after her? Spy on her?

-Sniff around like a bloodhound?

-Of course not.

Heaven knows, l'm not jealous.

Thank you for that.

Why should l follow her?

No reason at all.

What did you do?

l hired detectives.

And the results are nauseating.

The Riverton Agency just telephoned me

that she and her oily acrobat. . .

. . .arrived a half an hour ago

in a cozy little inn at Honfleur.

Well.

Without skates.

Most disagreeable.

Come, my boy.

You're not the first.

This sort of thing

has happened before.

And to some very good people.

Alfred de Musset,

Victor Hugo, Napoleon.

Even to me.

lsn't that true, Manuel?

Yes, indeed, sir.

Many, many, many times.

Well, not that many.

But a skating instructor.

A skating instructor!

lt is always a skating instructor.

Or some such specimen.

-lsn't that true, Manuel?

-Absolutely, sir.

Remember dear little

Madame Dumelle. . .

. . .and Marmaluc the Terrible Turk?

There you are.

A wrestler from the Folies Bergre.

There was Madame Laura

and the swimming coach.

Hurry up, Manuel.

And Madame d'Albert

and the riding master.

Mademoiselle Monique

and the weight lifter. . .

. . .Madame Bocher and the plumber.

That's enough, Manuel.

You've made your point.

Here, put this in your mouth.

One can't be a Don Juan

to one's valet, can one?

l only keep him to prevent him

from talking to others.

Oh, come, Gaston, cheer up.

Cheer up? l couldn't be

in better spirits.

Good. l'm delighted

the deadly affair is over.

The woman was common.

Plainly and unmistakably common. . .

. . .from her painted toenails

to the top of her bleached head.

l'm glad to be rid of her.

What do we do today?

What do we do?

We're going to Honfleur, naturally.

Are you mad?

l never want to see her again.

Of course you don't.

But you're not going to

let a woman have the last word.

Where is your sense of honor?

Your male patriotism?

Nonsense.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes