Girl on a Bicycle Page #2

arms around you when you walk,

and they're gonna hang on your

every word, and they're gonna say,

"Whatever you want, sweetie.

Just say the word, hmm?"

Oh!

Maybe there is something I could be

able to do for you right now'? Hmm'?

Paolo and I are just fine.

You don't have to worry.

Enjoy our hotel.

Hi, Gerd.

Hello.

[ Clears Throat ]

Will that be

one room, or two?

One.

Two.

[ Mouths Word ]

Hello?

You know what this means?

This is your last chance

for a fling.

It's not gonna happen.

- Paolo is Italian, right?

- Mm-hmm.

Italian men think

that "fidelity"...

is the name of the woman

who lives across the hall.

They can't help it.

It's genetic.

Frangois, I'm gonna go to my

very own room now. Danke.

I'm gonna soak. I'm gonna try to

forget what you've done to me today.

Okay.

I'm not finished yet.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. Just--

Zzzt!

I've known Paolo

for three years now,

and he's just not the type

who will get attracted...

to the first good-looking

woman that passes by.

[ Snores ]

Thanks.

Oh.

[Bell Tolling]

"George peeked inside. He was trying

to see what was making the swirls,

when all of a sudden"--

"The chocolates began coming

out faster and faster.

They sped by him so quickly, they seemed

to be running on legs of their own."

D' accord'?

[ Paolo ] And this is the

famous Louvre Museum.

Once a royal fortress

in the 13th century,

now it's considered one of the

most famous museums in the world.

Not difficult. I mean, they got

all these Italian paintings.

They got Leonardo,

they got Michelangelo,

Caravaggio, Giotto,

et cetera, et cetera.

Many of which, by the way, were stolen

from Italy. Huh! What are you gonna do?

[Bell Tolling]

Beautiful doesn't even

begin to describe her.

She was like, um,

perfect.

She had, uh--

She was radiating in light.

Am I missing something

here, brother?

Aren't you getting

married to Greta?

She smiled at me.

Well, she's been waiting three

years for you to propose.

I'm amazed she didn't

yodel Beethoven.

Not Greta. The girl on the

bicycle smiled at me.

Which Beethoven? I don't know, man.

One of his operas.

Look. You gotta forget about this girl

on the bicycle, Paolo, all right'?

It wasn't just a smile.

[Car Alarm Chirps]

Merda! I've gotta get

this girl out of my head.

I know, I know.

Yeah. You have, right?

So let's say good-bye to the beautiful girl on

the bicycle with the gorgeous smile, right'?

See you later.

Ta-ta. Adios. Ciao.

Ta-ta, ciao, ciao. Done.

Away from my head.

She gone?

She's out of my head.

Good!

I promise.

Very good. She's out of my head. I'm

never gonna mention her anymore.

Well done.

I'm done.

[ Moaning ]

[ Bicycle Bell Rings]

Okay, are you waving

at me, Paolo?

No.

I was stretching my arm.

No, you were waving at me.

I wasn't aware I was waving. Like, I don't

know. Maybe I was caught up in the moment.

I won't wave anymore.

Can't call her. Her husband's

back in town for the weekend.

Did I tell you

she waved at me?

Who? Oh, don't tell me.

The girl on the f***in' bicycle.

Can't call her. She's dead now.

I waved back.

I also waved at Greta

though.

Greta was on the bicycle, too, was she?

I thought she was in Munich.

I'm talking about yesterday.

Me and Greta-- we were

having sex, and I waved.

Hmm. You were having sex with Greta while

you were waving at the girl on the bicycle?

No.

Greta was on top of me. I thought it was

the girl on the bicycle, so I waved.

Paolo,

can I ask you something?

Have you gone

totally f***in' bonkers?

You think I want this?

It just happened.

This girl has possessed me

completely.

- I don't know if you noticed.

- Oh, yeah. I've noticed.

.R[Pop]

[Woman ] I Come on, let's

play Let's go outside I

Okay, sweetheart. Now,

all you have to do is remember to wet

the soap and hold it in your left hand.

I'm right-handed.

[ Gasps ]

[ Man Groans]

[ Man Groans]

- Ccile.

- Yeah?

Do you think you can grip the

soap just a tiny bit tighter?

- Yeah,yeah,yeah. I'm so sorry.

- Excellent.

[ Groans ]

Merde! I'm sorry.

I lost my grip.

Putain!

I'm sorr--

Are you okay?

[ Chuckles ]

You think this is funny?

No.

No. So,

can we all behave

like professionals here?

- Mm-hmm.

- Good. Thank you.

[ Laughing ]

I'm ready.

[ Exhales Deeply]

- [Chuckles]

- Are we done now?

Because, you see, it took two hours longer

than I expected to do your hair and makeup,

and we only have this studio

for one hour more,

so we really need to

get this done now.

- Yeah.

- Good.

I Come away with me I

Now let's see that face

of being in paradise.

J So long

We'll see you soon I

Now hold it. D-D-Don't-

Hold it tight.

Don't let it slip!

Oh, merde!

Get that soap, Ccile,

and get it now!

Yeah,yeah,yeah. I'm so sorry.

Stupid soap is in here somewhere.

No, no! No, don't- [Splash ]

Got it!

[ Muttering In French ]

Nobody's going to buy

your stupid soap anyway,

'cause they won't be able to hold it in

their hand for two seconds, dummies!

[ Director ] Yeah, good-bye, Cecile!

Yeah, yeah, good-bye!

Look, man. This one's

a piece of cake, right?

Meet the girl

on the bicycle.

Why? I'm getting married

with Greta.

I love her.

She's perfect for me.

80-- That's why you've

gotta meet her, right'?

'Cause no girl, not even some

beautiful girl on a bicycle,

could ever measure up

to your fantasy of her.

Are you sure about this?

It's my speciality.

I don't think it's gonna work.

Trust me, right?

The rub is to get

her telephone number.

Numro de tlphone,

s'il vous plait.

Numro de tlphone?

S'il vous plait.

S'il vous plaTt. Yeah.Numro

de tlphone, s'il vous plaTt.

Numro de tlphone,

s'il vous plait.

Numro de tlphone,

s'il vous plaTt.

Bravo.

[ Paolo] Under the golden

dome is buried Napoleon.

Napoleon, you have to know,

was Italian.

His real name was

Napoleon di Buonaparte.

Now what you're now seeing, that building

over there with the big hole in the middle-

that is the world-famous

Arc de Triomphe.

Now there's two of these in existence,

and a lot of people don't realize this.

There's one here in Paris, and the

other one is in Las Vegas, Nevada.

[ Man ]

I Oh, last stop Paris

I It looks like

I'm here to stay I

I I'd rather be walking

on the Champs-Elyses I

[ Paolo ] And this is

Notre Dame Cathedral,

which was started

in the year 1163...

and finished

in the year 1345.

182 years

to finish a church.

I mean, in Italy, we build them almost

overnight. But what are you gonna do?

I Last stop Paris

Looks like I'm here to stay I

I Looks like I'm here to stay .P

I And I'll be settling down

for coffee I

I Or should I say a caf?.P

I Strolling along the Seine .P

I Oh, last stop Paris

I made up my mind today I

I Last stop Paris .P

I There's nothing more

I can say I

I Last stop Paris

Looks like I'm here to stay I

[ No Audible Dialogue]

Quoi?

[Very Faint] Numro de

tlphone, s'il vous plaTt.

[ French ]

[ French ]

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