Girls Gone Dead Page #6

got the better of them.

Not that I would know

what that looks like!

Hey, guys!

Hello!

Why would you do that?

Okay, I like porno

as much as the next person,

but your live show sucks.

Fine.

Sorry about that.

Maybe we should go somewhere

a little more private.

What do you guys think?

Tha What? sie.

I could not stand

the sounds of them...

...for another

goddamn second.

Here, here.

All right.

Uh-huh.

What are you doing?

That's so bad.

Oh, this is going to

look so good on my reel.

Who's up for

a game of chicken, huh?

Come on, boys.

Whoo!

Follow the titties.

Ran out.

Who wants

another one?

Yeah.

Okay, I guess I'll just

bring the whole fridge.

What?

Ah, that's beautiful...

This is movie magic.

Uh-huh.

What are you doing?

What?

That's just bad.

That's just bad,

that's what that is.

Come on, Dirk.

Aren't you

going to get in?

I'm in the middle

of something here, okay?

Becky?

Um, I'm fine.

You guys have fun.

- How about you?

- No, I'm cool.

Oh, come on, don't be

like these two lame asses.

Come on, let's go

have fun.

Yeah,

have fun, Eric.

So what do you say we continue this

conversation

in the hot tub, huh?

- Come on, we'll just talk.

- Okay.

I won't make you do anything

you're not cool with.

Come on.

What are you

doing out there?

Uh, just give me a second.

Just...

Hey!

Aren't you our ref?

Pay attention!

God!

The beer's all gone.

A**hole!

There's more

in the cooler, no?

What the f***?

Nope.

All gone.

Well, somebody

needs to take the run.

Whoo!

I Can't you go?!

Bo and I were

just about to win.

In your dreams, b*tch.

- Oh!

- In your dreams, b*tch.

Come on, f***.

F***, f***!

You got to be

f***ing kidding me!

Come on, man,

I can do this.

Wait.

Wait, I feel movement.

Ahh...

It's showtime, folks.

Mood lighting.

Nice.

You started without me?

It's cool, baby,

I'll take over.

You're so wet.

Jesus.

What the f***?!

What the f*** is...

Oh!

Y'all need me to pick up

anything else while I'm out?

Yeah, how about

a bottle of rum

and some hotter guys.

Better stuff

that mouth before I do.

F*** you.

# Oh beer #

# How I love you #

# Don't you ever #

# Leave me dry ##

What the f*** you

looking at?

See how that works?

F*** me.

Sh*t.

Is that you, Greg?

Hey, Eric, you want to

go smoke a bowl?

Uh, no, I'm good.

Maybe later.

Come on,

let's go upstairs.

F***ing dick.

Do you guys

want to smoke?

Yeah, maybe

when we come back down.

You trying to scare me,

put me on that f***ing

Internet of yours?

Think you're big?

Big old pile of sh*t.

Splatter you

all over the f***ing-

Holy f***!

Goddamn it, you just cut

my f***ing arm off!

F***ing leg!

No, goddamn it!

Get away from me,

you f***er!

Goddamn it, f***!

I'll kill you!

F***...

man:
Are you doing everything

possible as a parent,

to make sure that they only

interact with

other good

Christian children?

Or are there parents lacking

in moral value?

What is ingrained in them

when you are not around

to control what they

see or what they hear?

And that is why we are having

a telethon.

But we need your help,

your kindness,

your gifts from the heart to

help us, your donations.

Wait a minute.

Can we just

slow down for a sec?

What's the problem?

- I said give me a second.

- What's the problem?

I thought

you were into it.

I'm- I'm...

I'm just nervous.

Oh, I understand.

I'm a little nervous, too.

You're nervous?

Sure, I'm just an average

guy, but you...

you are an

absolute knockout.

Listen, I don't want to

make you do anything

you're not cool with.

- Really?

- Really.

I just- I can't.

I'm sorry.

I knew I was wasting

my time with the wrong one.

- What?

- Yeah, you heard me.

I- I could be

downstairs right now

f***ing that slut, Missy.

But stupid me.

See, I thought it would be more

fun to go for the challenge.

You know what?

You prudes

are all the same.

Oh, you act like you're

all about it,

but, really, you're

just a scared little girl.

Oh, sweetie, don't cry.

Save the water works for

someone who gives a f***.

Yeah, I'm going to get

the hell out of here now,

and go get a blow job from

your friend, okay?

You wouldn't do that.

Yeah, we'll see.

F***ing tease.

Come on, Zack,

let's roll.

No, I'm cool.

Plus, Bo's not back yet.

- Why, what's up?

- What's wrong?

Did you have

a little problem upstairs?

I'm not the one with

the problem.

Don't waste your time, dude.

You're not going

to get anything anyway.

This house is full of

cock teases.

F*** you, a**hole.

You're not even

worth teasing.

F*** you, c*nts.

Whoa, Dirk, cool it, man,

go chill.

You know what, I'm going to get my ass a

cab

and go to Daytona,

"Crazy Girls" or not.

At least those b*tches

know how to party.

Have fun, loser.

- Whoa!

- I need to go check on Becky

and see what your

a**hole friend did to her.

No, no, no,

I'll go check on her.

I think I know what happened

up there, all right?

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

Go away.

God, what?

Does "no" mean "yes"

to all of you?

I come in peace.

Do you want

to talk about it?

What's there to

talk about?

I'm just some uptight prude

who led your friend on.

Whoa, hey.

Do you really think that

about yourself

or is that

something Dirk told you?

Let me tell you

something about Dirk.

He's been giving

the same speech

three times a week since

high school.

He calls it

his "Mount Gushmore. "

How could

I be so stupid?

You're not stupid.

Everyone makes mistakes.

You're smart enough not to

let it go too far, right?

Is, uh...

is that your mom?

Yeah.

Uh, she gave this to me

when I was, like, seven.

It makes me sound

like such a little girl,

but sometimes...

when I look at it,

it just seems like everything

will be okay.

Like she's there to

lead me down the right path.

Sounds stupid, but-

You're not stupid.

Stop.

It seems like she really cares

about you and loves you.

Seems like you're growing

into quite the young woman,

not a little girl.

That was bad.

No...

That was-

that's horrible.

That's so bad.

That's a horrible line.

- Thank you.

- No problem.

What is this?!

Oh, I get it, you get bored

with one and go for another?

- Missy, you don't understand.

- Sure I do.

Your drama is ruining this

whole f***ing weekend.

First, we have

to leave the bar early

'cause you puke on yourself.

Now, you run off

the best-looking guy in town

because you're scared

to put out?

Oh... what is this?

Who are you kidding

with this sh*t, Becca?

You pretend to be

holier than thou,

but actually,

you're just a selfish b*tch!

Really?

I'm going to

get out of the pool,

I'm going to flatiron

my hair

and I'm going put on makeup

and I'm going to come up

here and yell at you.

F***ing prude-ass b*tch.

Beer wagon's back, b*tches!

All right,

I'm going to go help him.

Whoo!

Hey, who ordered

the monk?

- What was that?

- I don't know.

Zack probably

pulled down his pants.

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